extreme anxiety and depression following job loss - when will it end?

Life for me and my daughters was hard work before we settled here. For many people job uncertainty or low income can be a theme for years, even decade or more. We still kept our hope, drank coffee and laughed even though we probably wanted to cry a little. Being strong in the face of adversity isn't a cliche. It's what keeps you sane and trying

I raised them taking only for granted the fact they will need to do a physical job. If more came, I taught them, good. If not, just one room, some food and nature or a book will be enough...my daughters did well in marriage. If not they still have their humble mindset and their work ethic

Many of us crossed Europe with 0 money, like my daughters and settled here in nice big homes. Life just happens ...it will for you too

What's the existential fear that's driving this horrible chasm of totally unnecessary fear. Start there

Life isn't about jobs, money or belongings....ask for help once your savings drop bellow 16000 , if I'm still correctly informed, enjoy your child's company and don't get the devil free reign to your mind

Nothing in this life is worth any worry

Op you can't know for sure whether something is a good or bad decision.

medium.com/finn-jackson/the-parable-of-the-taoist-farmer-8f52bba7f12c

Can you apply to any jobs at your old place? Do you know anyone there?

Look up fight, flight and freeze. It sounds like you are stuck in the latter. There are things like breathing techniques and exercises you can do to try and get your nervous system out of this stasis. I found some good breathing exercises on youtube back in the day.

I used to spend a lot of time rewriting the past in my head. I felt like the choices I made back when I didn't know enough about what I was doing irrevocably closed doors for me and that there was no way forward along the path I was treading.

What helped was antidepressants. I strongly recommend you go to your GP and ask for them. Antidepressants may help reduce the constant rumination, which while satisfying (which is why you continue to do it) isn't helpful for moving on.

Good luck and I hope things improve for you.

I agree with both of these posters.

OP, I will say to you what someone said to me regarding a recent blip of a senior job (check my username): Move on.

Seriously. Move on. Stop thinking about it. Stop replaying things. Just stop. Because people will tire of your unravelling and you'll achieve absolutely nothing. Just more misery. You don't want that, or else you wouldn't have posted here.

Do you think your ex-colleagues are spending this time self-flagellating and fixating on the doomsday scenario you have described over and over? Do you think anyone in your life would be as cruel to you as you are currently being to yourself?

You may need some help from a GP to steer yourself away from such intrusive and damning thoughts - at least in the short term. So take it. You may need to prioritise eating and exercising and better sleep. So do that.

You've had some thoughtful and stellar advice on this thread, and with all due respect, you will be burning through people's goodwill if you can't take a step back from the catastrophising and pause. Just to consider your next step. The next healthy and nourishing thing you could do to improve your future. Doesn't have to be massive. Rome wasn't built in a day.

I feel for you, as it's clear that you're going through the wringer. But time to stop obsessing and help yourself carve a bright future that you're capable of having.

I’m sorry you’re struggling OP, I agree with others that therapy will help you massively with this because it seems to me like you need some real help reframing this & leaving it in the past. You cannot change the past, you have the power to change the future, and right now you are spending more time worrying about the past than trying to help your current & future self.

It's good you're getting therapy. They'll be able to help you find ways to reframe your thoughts so you can start thinking about the future instead of dwelling on the past. You need to urgently find a way to put all this negative talk and dwelling behind you and take small steps to improve your life in the here and now, so you can start building towards a future. It may not be the one you imagined but it can still be a wonderful future (maybe even better than you thought!) But to get there you must make a promise to yourself to leave all this dwelling behind. Draw a hard line under it and dont engage anymore. If not for you, for your child! They need their parent right now. I'd seriously consider going to the GP for medication as that could help you to feel less depressed within weeks, and give you the space and energy to start exercising and looking after yourself. Good luck!

I was going to write something similar to this, Rizz has put it perfectly.

I think you are being way too rigid and fatalistic. You have created a mental prison that is impossible to escape from. You won't allow yourself to move on or accept any escape routes. I think you do need professional help to coach yourself through this, to start breaking down those mental barriers keeping you trapped. Please look into behavioural therapies and see if this makes sense to you. There will be people that can help you break free of this.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, it sounds like the absolute pits.

So start taking steps to that happy life now. You need to stop looking backwards and stop ruminating on things that you can’t change because they’ve already happened.

The way forward is exactly that! Forward! If that is too difficult right now, start by living in the present. Which means looking after yourself. Eating well. Sleeping. Getting some fresh air / exercise. Doing things which make you happy! Start small. Even if that’s just having a shower and eating some fruit.

No, but you could contact someone who DOES know you and let them know you’ve applied and are they able to put a word in.

This is why men play golf! They use their connections. You will still be known and valued in your old team, use it.

OK, so right now:
do you have a home, are you solely responsible for the mortgage/rent? Or is that safely covered?
are you and the family fed?

If no, are you claiming everything you can?

If yes - breathe. This will not be a catastrophe. It will be, and is, horrible and difficult. But you and everyone are safe and you can rebuild.

What are your circumstances? Family? Dependents?

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I found hypnotherapy helped me find calm and the strength to start again. Sending hugs xx

You say you weren't successful in interviewing for positions at your old work. But what was the feedback? If things have changed there, is there anything that you can learn or develop to bring you back up to their speed?

But I would also get in touch with your GP.

Angela Rayner has recently left her unicorn role.She will also be going through a hard time. I t would be interesting to see how she reacts and builds herself bac kup from what has happened.