Friends judging my side business because I’m a high earner

I disagree. It’s an anonymous internet forum. Bragging anonymous is very unlikely to achieve anything for her.

I always think that when I see people accused of ‘bragging’ on here. I could say I’m a millionaire or a movie star, or my kids got into Oxford: what does it matter?

I don’t think there are perfect friends who understand every aspect of us. Or if there are, they’re very rare! It sounds like your friends aren’t as driven as you and don’t really get why you are taking on an extra project when you’re clearly financially secure. Maybe a bit of jealousy but maybe just not interested?

Perhaps you could network with some other local businesswomen? Broaden and find some other friends/acquaintances who would be enthusiastic and supportive of this side of your personality? That needn’t involve dropping your current friends.

Honestly as somebody who has ran their own business for years, your biggest supporters will always be strangers.

Just ignore them and do what you want to do.

Good luck x

I promise you, nothing is ever as "outing" as the OP thinks it is... I promise you, unless you're offering tandem skydiving lessons with Prince William, it's not that serious.

I would absolutely say your friends are jealous of your combined large household income. Unless of course, their incomes are broadly similar?

The other thing is if it’s a hobby or passion, you might not be producing decent content or items but as a hobby they haven’t said anything but if you are turning it into a business they are worried you’ll lose time and money in effect throwing money after bad. It’s impossible to say without knowing what it is.
There was a shop turned into a sort of gallery with a few stupidly expensive landscape prints, nothing special at all, taken better on my phone. We used to look as we walked past, wondered if some money laundering type thing but suspect it was a hobby business. Went out of business really quickly.

I disagree. It’s an anonymous internet forum. Bragging anonymous is very unlikely to achieve anything for her.

The subject of OP’s post is that her friends are using her financial position against her in discussion. Invariably, what financial position she is actually in would be asked and come up. OP does not give a figure. ‘Six-figures’ is an incredibly broad range.

You can earn multiples of that with a property portfolio essentially sitting on the sofa. Very little 'intellect' needed. I'm sure there are lots of other ways to earn 100k that are the same.

If it’s actually your mates being pressured to ‘be supportive’ by buying things to give you that validation as it often is in these cases then that is where it gets annoying. If unconnected members of the public of their own free will value the good or service enough to buy it then that is no concern of anyone else’s. I am a bit sick of notifications about x or y random aquaintance’s Etsy craft shop and I suspect this is what happened here.

If you have time, energy and passion for something and you already have enough money then I just think there would be more sympathy if the profits went to charity.

It’s fairly obvious when someone has buckets of money.

Where is the evidence the friends no ‘so much’?

With respect – because I don’t mean this argumentatively, just by way of explanation – no one has to understand it (and neither do her friends).

Making from money from something is a stamp of validity that you do it well. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying that validation that you do it well enough.

Depending on the hobby, doing it commercially for money may be the only way to achieve a particular aspect of it.

In addition, some people just like making money. What’s wrong with that?

If they just think you’re making work for yourself when you don’t need the money then why does it matter? Up to you if you want to make a business out of it. Are you sure you’re good enough at said hobby to try to monetize it? Maybe they think you need to get better at it and that’s why they aren’t being encouraging?

If it’s jewellery making or cake baking and you will be expecting your mates to ‘support’ you by buying the said items then that is probably a decent reason to be pissed off. They don’t see why they should give you their hard earned cash for things they likely don’t want when you already have so much. If it’s just for fun and you don’t need the money why can’t you do whatever it is for free?

Without knowing the facts it’s difficult to say.
If you are regularly stressed and flaky due to busy job they could think you are mad adding more to plate.
Do you have kids and ask for favours or not pull weight eg oh I can’t go on lifts rota to cubs I’m doing my side hustle.
Something they disapprove of eg selling used knickers or only fans or something ten a penny and worried they are going to be inundated with #girl boss social media and pressure to host parties/buy tat/join dodgy schemes.
Your post does come across as Romy & Michelle ‘business women’ and maybe friends just enjoy time just catching up not discussing business and finances.

Quite.

All this, ‘It’s outing’ crap. I very much doubt you’re the only person in the land doing it 🙄

I don't think I can think of one person I know who has a hobby that would be remotely 'outing' 😂

My friends and I must have boringly mainstream hobbies.

People always say six figure salary like it’s amazing, but after tax 100,00 is not that great, and you lose child benefit, tax benefits etc.
Basically, there’s a vast lifestyle difference between 110,000 and 950,000. More than between 40k and 100k.

This. The fact that the OP’s friends know so much about her finances suggests she’s been over-sharing. Possibly they find her money chat irritating and just want to shut it down.

Tell them you're going to retire early and make a fortune from it!

OF?

I’m pretty sure a significant number of them are fantasists.

Why is the default position always jealousy?
I agree that in many cases it is, but not always.

I think that telling everyone you earn a lot of money is crass.

I absolutely do NOT think the friends are worried about the OP.

More likely, they see work as a nuisance and cannot fantom that it can be a source of pleasure.
And they see side hustle = money so the OP and her dh having even more money than they do now. Which they might well be jealous about.
I mean let’s imagine the OP loves theater.
She starts to do some stand up comedy show in pub/small events, realy enjoys herself.
She is doing that wo being paid = great. That’s her passion etc…
She is saying she is being paid for it = more money. Why do you need to do that when you already ‘have plenty’?

I think many people think like this tbh

I had the same experience when I started my business, my friends and my then husband did not support me. The difference was that I wasn’t earning nearly as much then, but I still chose to pursue my business. I soon realised that my friends would never be my ideal clients, and that’s fine. Ten years on, I have built a career out of my business, and I’m really glad I stuck with it.

Why would you need to speak to all your friends about it? I started an online business years ago, I didn’t tell anyone my plans I just went ahead and did it I knew what I wanted to do I didn’t need input from people who have no knowledge of what I do or what’s involved.

I agree with this.

DH and I are comfortable (no 6 figure earnings here), but we have no money worries, several investments and own our house and car outright (our biggest outgoing is council tax).

I just find talking about money when you earn a lot rather crass and tone deaf unless you are with people who feel comfortable about it or are on a similar level.

One of my friends has just retired from a (very stressful) six figure salary job, and she has never talked about her salary. I knew she was comfortable, but that was all.

IMO, telling everyone you are on a six figure salary is bragging (especially to anyone who doesn't live in or near London).