Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends judging my side business because I’m a high earner

309 replies

Katee91 · 04/09/2025 22:13

I work a stressful but very (financially) rewarding job - comfortably 6 figures with generous bonuses. My DH out earns me and I know we are very fortunate in that respect.

I’m attempting to turn a hobby/passion into a small side business and have spoken to various friends about it.

More or less all of them have questioned why I need to do this as they don’t feel I need the money. That isn’t the motivating factor though, it’s for enjoyment and linked to my passion.

AIBU to feel a bit upset at their outlook with this? Even after I explain my reasons they still turn it back to money.

I don’t think it’s jealousy as my DH suggested, but I just feel a bit deflated and that my friends should be supporting me..

OP posts:
TootSweeties · 04/09/2025 22:45

My advice would be to focus on building a community around your side business. Connect with others turning their hobby into a business or doing more of what they love. No shame in it whatsoever! Very few of my family or friends are interested in my business and I’ve been doing this for 20 years. You get used to compartmentalising stuff. And you’ll find more joy in it if they’re not passing judgement! Don’t let their negativity bring you down. And fuck anyone who suggests this is a humble brag. You’re clearly very bright and successful. If you want to make a success of something else, go for it!

Bibbitybobbity70 · 04/09/2025 22:41

Enjoy your hobby & turning it into a side business. I know a couple of GP & consultants locally who have turned their baking skills into a small sideline business without taking over their jobs, for them it's a release from the stress of medicine which they all still enjoy & maybe the balance is why. Forget what others think, shame your friends cant be more supportive.

Whowahway123 · 04/09/2025 22:41

Is it because they think you already have a full plate & possibly moan or let off steam to them about how busy you are juggling everything, currently? And they are thinking why why why is she taking on something more when she is ‘struggling’ already with the responsibilities she has?

I have a friend like this…

Pissenlit · 04/09/2025 22:41

Are you confusing friendship with uncritical admiration? It’s a perfectly reasonable question to pose, why, if you have a stressful job and are not in any need of extra money, you would try to monetise a hobby rather than simply treating it as a relaxing leisure pursuit.

SarahT1234 · 04/09/2025 22:38

Maybe they weren’t actually judging but just came across wrong? Like maybe they thought it would be a bit much for you if your main job is quite a lot (which it may well be if you’re earning that much) and they said it in the wrong way?

TwelvePercent · 04/09/2025 22:37

Are you sure they're not just surprised that you want to add more work on top of your already stressful job?

I'd act surprised if someone of my friends with already stressful jobs & full lives decided to start an Etsy basket weaving shop or whatever.

GleisZwei · 04/09/2025 22:35

Will the side job include asking them to buy products related to the side job?

OriginalUsername2 · 04/09/2025 22:34

I think it’s an obvious question to ask.

New2you · 04/09/2025 22:33

Don't fall into the trap of caring what other people think of you.

Original poster
Katee91 · 04/09/2025 22:31

outingouting · 04/09/2025 22:28

it’s prob jealousy. do they earn the same as you?

most side hustles require funds to get off the ground (in my sad experience at several failed side hustle attempts!)

I might find it hard to see a mate making even more money cos they had the capital to start something off with.

But I’d like to think I’d manage that quietly and not let them know about it.

it shouldnt matter what they think and don’t let it stop you.

There are a mix of jobs, none earn 6 figures to my knowledge but they are probably what you’d call middle class. One has more of a ‘hobby job’ but really enjoys living frugally and I often envy her life to be honest!

OP posts:
Chickyhip · 04/09/2025 22:31

Posting 3 times is uglier.

Dreamie2 · 04/09/2025 22:29

.

Dreamie2 · 04/09/2025 22:29

.

Dreamie2 · 04/09/2025 22:29

@CosyNavyLeader and @mmsnet

Here comes the little spiteful jealous crew…
Get a life and stop belittling and bullying others.

Jealously is an ugly trait.

outingouting · 04/09/2025 22:28

it’s prob jealousy. do they earn the same as you?

most side hustles require funds to get off the ground (in my sad experience at several failed side hustle attempts!)

I might find it hard to see a mate making even more money cos they had the capital to start something off with.

But I’d like to think I’d manage that quietly and not let them know about it.

it shouldnt matter what they think and don’t let it stop you.

CallMeFlo · 04/09/2025 22:28

Strzyga · 04/09/2025 22:20

Isn't it always outing...... Hmm

And yet never actually is 🙄

KaitlynnFairchild · 04/09/2025 22:27

Are you sure they aren’t just worried they will pressured to buy your cakes/crossstitching/foot shavings etc

Complet · 04/09/2025 22:26

Katee91 · 04/09/2025 22:22

No I don’t talk about money with them, one friend made a slightly judgy comment about the amount of holidays we’ve been on this summer but I certainly don’t throw it in anyone’s faces.

Show quote history

Sorry, that’s not what I was saying. It doesn’t seem like they’re bothered at all by your income, more your hobby. Is it really that bad?

PollyBell · 04/09/2025 22:25

But if it is working for you why do you need their permission just do it

Sunnyxo · 04/09/2025 22:24

Friends and judging shouldn’t be in the same sentence 😊 (well for something like this, I don’t mean if you like cheated or murdered someone 😂) but yeah you’re not being unreasonable to be upset that they’re not supportive.
at the same time though, take no notice, crack on and wishing you all the best with your ventures 😊 ✨ it’s nice to be able to pursue a hobby as a side hustle and fair play to you 👏🏻

Complet · 04/09/2025 22:24

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 04/09/2025 22:19

I suppose they wonder why it's not enough to just enjoy your passion, and are risking enjoying it less by making it a commercial enterprise.

Can you tell us a bit more about what it is? It might help us work out what the issue is.

I think people like some validation that they are good at their hobby, and why not? We’ve probably all seen the homemade stuff on social media people try and flog - not because they need the money, as it obviously wouldn’t make a proper income.

Not sure if you saw a lady the other week who posted a few pictures she took and people said they thought they were too amateur? It seemed she wanted to sell them, not to make a profit, just because it validated her skill at that hobby.

Original poster
Katee91 · 04/09/2025 22:24

mmsnet · 04/09/2025 22:21

this!

im rich blah blah blah

Show quote history

Hardly. Higher earners are ten a penny on MN!

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 04/09/2025 22:24

Six figures after tax is hardly much so I can see why you would need a side hussle

Original poster
Katee91 · 04/09/2025 22:22

Complet · 04/09/2025 22:19

They don’t really sound like friends, unless your side hobby is exploitation?

Even if they think your hobby is dreadful/tacky/unbecoming of a lady, they shouldn’t be so rude.

What you earn isn’t really relevant, a lot of people earn a lot more than you and like to sell items on Vinted etc.

Do you talk about it a lot? Are they bored of it? If not, then I think they’re just rubbish friends.

No I don’t talk about money with them, one friend made a slightly judgy comment about the amount of holidays we’ve been on this summer but I certainly don’t throw it in anyone’s faces.

OP posts:
mmsnet · 04/09/2025 22:21

CosyNavyLeader · 04/09/2025 22:15

On today's episode of 'Humble brag'...

this!

im rich blah blah blah