Friends judging my side business because I’m a high earner

I think it’s envy. I know some people throw that around but I do believe it’s what happening here.

They don’t like seeing people they are close with succeed in new areas because it makes them feel inadequate or reminds them of the dreams they didn’t pursue. I’ve had friends like that - now former friends.

It’s why a lot of people talk about how “no one will cheer louder for you than a stranger” often friends are the least supportive.

So when your friends question why you "need" to do this, and you explain that you don't need to but you enjoy it, do they then give you their blessing or do they raise other objections, and if so what objections?

If you have a hobby and it happens to be profitable and you enjoy it (and you're good at it) and you're not complaining to anyone about how short of time you are or ducking out of other engagements... why would any friend not be happy for you?

Same

If my friends thought I should be doing something different with my time than a harmless money making hobby, I'd be glad to be rid of the sanctimonious envious bastards.

Expecting others to use their time and / or money for good causes is a bit annoying though. If someone chooses to volunteer then good for them .. but telling someone else that they should volunteer is not on.

I’ve had jobs where they are forgotten about once I leave the building. Of course I remember to go back the next day but I haven't thought about the job at all since the door closed behind me.

I’m fascinated by the hobbies on MN that are outing. They must be really out there.

I wouldn’t worry about what others think (though I know negative reactions can be a bit of a dampener). I think they are probably just wondering why you want to change it from a hobby to a business (essentially, a second job).

Maybe they're jealous. Some people justify others earning a lot more more money than they do by saying that the others' jobs aren't enjoyable, or fulfilling, and so they've "sold out". So when you announce that you not only are continuing your lucrative job, but are also starting a fulfilling and enjoyable one....well, their world view and justification of it just got up ended. You are not allowed to earn a lot of money AND have a fulfilling job. It's not fair. So they are angry.

Other people are different to you, shocker....Lots of people with very important/stressful jobs can still compartmentalise and not think about it much outside of work. In fact, in most cases they have to to avoid burn out.

Besides which, I don't think the previous poster meant that they literally forget everything about their job the second they clock out, like a character in Severance 🙄. I'm sure they are capable of remembering if they have to start early one day, or to bear in mind they're meeting with a boss on Tuesday so to dress smartly or whatever. Just they don't spend time worrying/stressing about work, or even thinking about it other than the basic awareness.

Wouldn’t worry what they think - they may be jealous or worried your taking too much on! I do wonder how your friends would know you earn 6 figures though as not a normal topic of conversation!?

"It's possible to have a stressful well paying job, and have zero responsibilities outside of working hours, leaving plenty of time for enjoyable stress free hobbies, I have a semi-decent paid stressful job, where I have zero responsibilities and give it zero thought once I clock out."

Really? Because in my non-stressful strictly 9-5 job, I still sometimes think about work out of hours, just simple things like whether I need to take something with me the next day, what meetings are coming up, etc. If my job was really stressful, there's no way I'd be able to forget about it completely.

It's possible to have a stressful well paying job, and have zero responsibilities outside of working hours, leaving plenty of time for enjoyable stress free hobbies, I have a semi-decent paid stressful job, where I have zero responsibilities and give it zero thought once I clock out.

It's also possible to have hobbies that can generate or produce things which are surplus to your own requirements, but still cost money to make as well as the time, and there's a market for certain things. If the OP likes to bake complex decorative cakes as an example, there's a market for monetising that skill, but you may not want to eat a 7 tier wedding cake each week, just because you enjoy baking and decorating.

I build and paint miniature models in my spare time, I'm not particularly good at it, but there are a number of people who are, and either make a living or a "side hustle" from doing commissions for model enthusiasts, and miniature war gamers, so they might like to build and paint models, but don't want to clutter up their house with hundreds of models.

You’re missing my point and conflating total income with available cash. Of course someone needs to be earning a decent wage to afford a large mortgage in the first place. But if, by the time they’ve paid for the house, car, credit card school fees etc they have next to nothing spare, then that is more meaningful in the OP’s case than purely what’s on their payslip. Plenty of people out there asset rich and cash poor.

You also seem to be assuming that someone with plenty of money will always choose the most expensive option they can (or can’t) afford - and I’m saying that’s often not the case. The person buying the second hand Skoda could be out-earning the BMW driver by miles, they just have different priorities. Amongst many circles flashy is seen as crass. You never really know what’s going on in other people’s finances (unless they are massively over-sharing).

I don’t understand your math, 6 figures is indeed a lot after tax or do you not understand how tax brackets work 😂

Fair enough, but she did explicitly say they kept bringing it back to money.

I know she didn’t say she banged on about being stressed which is why that was literally my first question? As that’s a reason I’m sometimes negative about people taking on more work.

She mentions in her OP that her job is stressful. Where does she say anything about ‘banging on about being stressed and busy loads’?

She doesn’t.

Where does she say her friends mentioned her being too busy in their negativities towards her hobby plans?

She doesn’t.

Not sure why you’re speaking so poorly to the OP with things you’ve made up.

Do you bang on about being stressed and busy loads? I just roll my eyes now when people I know are stressed and anxious but keep adding more grabby job and responsibilities to their life. I refuse to listen to complaints and moaning about life when people insist on making their lives harder.

And a lease on a BMW is still much higher than running an older, less high-end secondhand car. As is salary sacrifice for leasing a high-end car.

If you pay attention to any of your friends holidays – like a good friend, because they chat about it and show you photos – it’s obvious what’s high end or budget.

Lots of wealthy people still spend on credit cards. It’s obvious when they are doing it out of choice rather than having the cash available. And the cash available to pay it off. Especially when they repeatedly do it.

Mortgaged to the eye balls on a high end house still requires you to have a high enough income to be mortgaged that high.

None of the examples are confusing as to who has more money than another. It’s obvious and requires no detective work. None of this is about any one singular spend. It’s obvious because you know a friend well and know a fair amount about their general lifestyle over time.

Thefsm with respect, you have to keep abreast of the game. Others will always copy ideas, if you stay still too long the market may become saturated. You need some USP, something that makes your product stand out, have an edge, an interesting slant.
I work in a creative field too, and I always have new projects developing on the back burner. I scour US sites to see what is doing well, trawl through hpinterest for ideas, focus on maintaining good mental health, the spring of creativity.

Have you thought of different selling places? You may sell locally, there are several craft/handmade shops popping up near me, they don't charge for shelf space, only a percentage when you sell. There may be other types of shops that may wish to stock your products, many will agree to a sale or return basis, an attractive way to hold stock. There may be tourist shops in your city- could you make a few products that reflect local history - contact the owners to find out what may be suitable. Are there regular craft markets near you, seasonal fares are often busy, and good profit.
The internet is crowded, but again with an USP you can find a niche. Etsy is full of vendors in a cramped market, but you may try building your own website, WIx or squarespace are simple for beginners. Amazon is a great marketplace- ebay too.
And there is social media for marketing, endless possibilites for promotion.

I am a crafter i a very niche market, and I am extremely busy, all year round. I close my business on December 1st until new year because I can't cope with the volume of sales during that time. I keep my revenue just under the VAT threshhold, and my income puts me into the higher tax bracket.

You have to keep moving.

Your friend’s BMW might be leased or finance, FD salaries vary massively could be pretty low for tax reasons if also a shareholder. A week in a suit at the Ikos Andalusia will be more than 2 weeks in a budget Orlando villa, or maybe they’ve just put it on a credit card. Perhaps all these people are mortgaged up to the eyeballs and barely have a spare penny. Or perhaps they have millions hoarded in the bank and don’t like to spend on cars and holidays.

The point is, outward displays of wealth can be deceiving.

Honestly, I’d judge you a bit too. Because I only have income from my hobby and rich people come in, can afford to buy every silk and lace and trim and outbid me on the porcelain doll bodies etc and then they started making the dolls in the style I do and it lowers the amount I can make from what is a niche market I was the only person making the style I do at first and now there are several really wealthy ladies doing it and I gave up - I can’t compete because they don’t even care about how much profit they make as they are doing it only as a hobby.

a lot of small side business people doing it for fun really undercut prices or sell just for material costs making the value of the rest of the peoples art drop.

I wouldn't regard them as unreasonable.
If they are your friends, self evidently they have your best interests in mind.

Do we all need the showing off 'Oh look at us the high earners ' There was no need to tell us your husband earns megabucks. It your hobby that's supposed to be under discussion.

🤣