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Original poster

Compulsory swimming lessons

62 replies

Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 04/09/2025 18:19

My DD10 is in a social and communication unit attached to a mainstream school and is diagnosed ASD. I've just been informed that this year includes compulsory swimming lessons as part of PE. I fully agree swimming is a necessary life skill and I want her to have the lessons.

However she is the only girl in her class along with 7 boys (all great friends and not been an issue for the past 2 years) and she is going through puberty. Her breasts are starting to grow and she has some pubic hair. DD is very private with her body and doesn't allow me to be in her room when she's changing and only reluctantly allows me in the bathroom to wash her hair where she sits in the bath with her hands covering her boobs.

How do I navigate this? What swimwear is easy to get on/off, she does struggle a little still with dressing and sometimes needs a hand but only once her underwear is on which obviously will not be the case at swimming. Also related she struggles to get dressed after her bath like most DC do when they insist on drying themselves and will sometimes get her bra/knickers twisted and needs help adjusting them.
What questions do I need to ask the school in regards to how they intend to get the children changed? Obviously we are working on her independence and have been for years but there are still some things she struggles with and these won't be sorted before the lessons.
Do I agree to the lessons full stop or do I attend with her?

I've literally only just been informed of this so I admit I'm spiralling slightly, can anyone help just talk this through with me please?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 05/09/2025 12:51

Just had a phone call with DDs amazing teacher, she is going to check with the pool if there are any restrictions on swimwear but believes a two piece vest and shorts type should be absolutely fine. It is just her class going and no option to go with a different class but they will all have individual cubicles so being the only girl hopefully won't even be noticed like it isnt on a daily basis in class where they are all just mates.
Her lovely teacher has also said they can help with untwisting bras if needed and agreed with @HarbourClankCat that indeed no woman alive has put a bra on easily with damp skin after swimming! There is also no issue with me going along to help her get changed if needed afterwards but I am going to really work on this final bit of independence with changing so hopefully I've spiralled over nothing!
Thank you also to @FurForksSake for the idea of going to the pool before the lessons, this will help massively and I'm grateful for the suggestion as I hadn't thought of doing that.
I really appreciate you all taking the time to post and talk me through it and for the swimwear ideas, we will go shopping and get something DD feels comfortable in. She's very excited for the lessons and her teacher said the class have spoken of little else this morning! Obviously I keep my anxiety and spiralling firmly internally or on here and I'm now ready with real excitement for her to get home to look at different swimwear options ahead of our shopping trip rather than the fake enthusiasm of last night!

OP posts:
NamelessNancy · 04/09/2025 20:38

Board shorts and rash vest might be the easiest combo.

MoggetsCollar · 04/09/2025 20:29

I run a unit for autistic children and we take them swimming in the summer. The ones who are independent and confident at changing go in individual cubicles. The little ones and unconfident changers go in two different family changing rooms (one for each sex) with several members of staff in each to guide/ support. We have them travel to the pool in light PE kit that will be easy to pull on when damp. They can wear their swimwear underneath on the way there if the want to. We encourage parents to send crocs or sliders so we can leave socks and shoes at school.

I'm sure your staff will have thought about the logistical and emotional aspects of getting changed- I'm sure they will give you a run down of the plans if you ask.

HarbourClankCat · 04/09/2025 20:24

Swimwear. Swim shorts and tank top type top. Much easier to get on and off and may make her feel more comfortable in terms of no pubes, boob exposure etc

Good suggestions on towels above. Dock and Bay particularly.

The bigger challenge will be around redressing and the bra/ sports bra. It’s an actual fact that no woman alive has ever got into either of them on easily with even the tiniest bit of slightly damp skin post swim. If her breasts are not too developed I’d think about a thick tshirt, ribbed vest to go under uniform/day clothes.

GameWheelsAlarm · 04/09/2025 20:21

Find a boyleg swimsuit like this? Can be worn under uniform in the morning, though obviously she'll still need to get changed into dry things after

Compulsory swimming lessons
Allthingspeaches · 04/09/2025 20:14

Try to get a swimming costume with a front zip which should make it easier to get off. I agree a hooded towel should sort being naked although when I used to take my class swimming the children were split by sex and they were only 7/8.

You can also give her some shorts to put on top of the costume if she prefers or some swimsuits have shorts built in.

Has she done swimming before? It might be worth finding out beforehand if she will want goggles as some children (DS1!) won’t swim without them and whether she’ll need a swimming cap.

FurForksSake · 04/09/2025 20:07

If she hasn’t swam before or been to that pool it would be good to take her there and do a practice. Also, she might be asked to put her head under, find out if she’s comfortable / needs goggles / needs it to be explained in advance that she can’t do that.

Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 04/09/2025 20:04

Thank you for the replies so far, i solo parent so it's helps to discuss with others when I'm spiralling!

DD pe kit is her daily school uniform but I will find out the lesson time to see if wearing it to school would work. I do stand back and guide her to sort herself although I admit I am guilty at times of just stepping in and doing it myself, I need to get better at stopping this completely and letting her have a good try first.

I'm not sure of it's just her class going but that's a good question to ask thank you.

I hadn't even thought about towels 🤦🏼‍♀️ my brain doesn't brain well at times thanks to peri hence you lovely strangers in my phone being such a help just to talk it through with.

I'll check with the school but I doubt there will be many restrictions on type of swimwear (as long as its not an itsy bitsy bikini obvs lol) and I intend to message her teacher tomorrow to arrange a chat about the lessons on general.

If any parents have been through this with their SEN DC is there anything that came up that you hadn't thought about prior to the lessons starting? All parents, anything else I'm not thinking of that i need to prepare for?

Thank you again

OP posts:
FurForksSake · 04/09/2025 18:47

Check with school about what they can wear and what reasonable adjustments they will allow her. I think it’s usually one pieces only, but they need to accommodate

MiddleAgedDread · 04/09/2025 18:31

A tankini might be easiest to get on and off? Get her something with decent bum coverage then she doesn’t need to worry about pubes sticking out. And a large hooded towel to change under. I’m pretty sure she’ll have separate changing area to the boys.

Girasoli · 04/09/2025 18:31

Oh bless her, will it just be the 8 DC going or will they be going along with a mainstream class as well? It might make her feel better if some other girls are going too.

My DC both like those hooded towel things from decathlon as they keep you nice and warm while getting dressed.

FurForksSake · 04/09/2025 18:24

Can she wear her swimsuit under Her PE kit to go in to school? You can get ones with short legs which may be preferable.

in some ways it will be practicing, instead of physically helping her start gradually advising and asking her to try to sort it first before you advise and then help.

making sure she is as dry as possible first will help and then underwear that is a little big might be easier to manage.

we use dock and bay towels for swimming, but the decathlon micro fibre towels are good and she could have one to wrap around her and one to then dry for a second time to try and help with getting things twisted.

will she wear boy shorts and crop tops as that might be easier or if she’s not too developed a vest with hidden support might work for swimming days?