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Original poster

Compulsory swimming lessons

62 replies

Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 04/09/2025 18:19

My DD10 is in a social and communication unit attached to a mainstream school and is diagnosed ASD. I've just been informed that this year includes compulsory swimming lessons as part of PE. I fully agree swimming is a necessary life skill and I want her to have the lessons.

However she is the only girl in her class along with 7 boys (all great friends and not been an issue for the past 2 years) and she is going through puberty. Her breasts are starting to grow and she has some pubic hair. DD is very private with her body and doesn't allow me to be in her room when she's changing and only reluctantly allows me in the bathroom to wash her hair where she sits in the bath with her hands covering her boobs.

How do I navigate this? What swimwear is easy to get on/off, she does struggle a little still with dressing and sometimes needs a hand but only once her underwear is on which obviously will not be the case at swimming. Also related she struggles to get dressed after her bath like most DC do when they insist on drying themselves and will sometimes get her bra/knickers twisted and needs help adjusting them.
What questions do I need to ask the school in regards to how they intend to get the children changed? Obviously we are working on her independence and have been for years but there are still some things she struggles with and these won't be sorted before the lessons.
Do I agree to the lessons full stop or do I attend with her?

I've literally only just been informed of this so I admit I'm spiralling slightly, can anyone help just talk this through with me please?

OP posts:
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DiscoBob · 25/10/2025 15:10

Swim shorts and swim t shirt. There's no need to wear anything skimpy. And reassure her she won't need to change in front of anyone. She can do so in a toilet cubicle if there really is no alternative?

Letsbe · 25/10/2025 14:56

What a lovely update. You sound a great mum with you in her corner she will do great.

Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 25/10/2025 13:40

I forgot all about this thread! Just wanted to update to say thanks to all your help and tips I got DD all kitted out so she is comfortable and confident and she is LOVING her lessons 😀 the coaches have been brilliant with her and she is very excited to come swimming with me this half term to show me what shes been learning so far.
I did have to keep a straight face when she arrived home week one and told me she didn't need anymore lessons as she knew how to swim now! I explained that was brilliant but she should keep having lessons so she learns how to swim safely without the coaches being there and also to get even better at it lol

OP posts:
WasThatACorner · 07/09/2025 10:03

When I was a support worker taking people swimming I would use a running tshirt and shorts. They are tight to get off when we so might be worth looking for zipper ones if you go this way.

gavisconismyfriend · 07/09/2025 09:58

Depends on her needs/what works for her, but we found a laminated picture strip of the order for getting undressed/dressed etc when swimming really helpful. It helped promote independence but also reassurance if there wasn’t an adult immediately on hand to direct which item of clothing was next. It wasn’t that she couldn’t do these things herself generally, it was more she found it hard to process when in a different environment with noise and other children around. Also the order changed - socks go on later when changing after swimming than they did at home - so it helped with that too. We tried a written list as her reading was good, but she liked the pictures better so we stuck with them.

Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 07/09/2025 09:41

Another thing I hadn't thought of was wet hair afterwards 🤦🏼‍♀️ can you tell its been years since I last went swimming? Lol
After her bath she normally lets her hair dry naturally but given the lessons are in the morning and she is then going back to school it's a good shout to think about this so thank you to the PPs who mentioned it.

DDs amazing teacher (I can never just write teacher as honestly the woman is an incredible human being who has made such a difference to the lives of the children in her class) did advise when we spoke that the plan is to have the children's clothes outside the cubicle and to pass each item under the door individually to lesson the chances of items of clothing getting soggy or dropped onto a wet possibly grimy floor but a very good shout on a small towel to stand on and to pack spare socks just in case thank you 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 07/09/2025 09:34

BrownOwlknowsbest · 07/09/2025 09:24

I asked because I do not know any ND children and since most talc manufactures now use cornflour rather than talc itself, it is now safe to use and might help. I hope you are able to solve your problem and that your child enjoys learning to swim

Show quote history

I'm glad you asked with good intentions, I would ALWAYS prefer people to ask and educate themselves on any subject, like me with this post! Thinking about needing a towel seems so obvious but it completely passed me by lol may I suggest that you could change your wording though so as not to unintentionally cause offense? As I explained in my reply ND is very much a sliding scale, if you reword to "Is that too complicated for your ND child"
DD is very very excited to start lessons so I too hope she enjoys learning to swim, thank you for your kind wishes, the lessons don't start for a couple of weeks but I will pop back and update how she gets on x

OP posts:
BrownOwlknowsbest · 07/09/2025 09:24

Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 07/09/2025 07:53

I personally have never used talc on either of my DC and I don't know any person that does given the now known link to certain cancers. Indeed I'm in my 40s and I don't recall my mother ever using it on me and my siblings.

I also can't decide if you are asking a genuine question with your last sentence and looking to educate yourself on the various difficulties ND children may experience or if you are being astoundingly rude and nasty? I'm going to think the best and answer as if it's a genuine question, ND children are just like NT children, no two are the same. SEN, ASD, ADHD, whatever other initials you can think of that may 'describe' an ND child are all a sliding scale, so whereas one ND child may struggle with a task such as getting dressed after swimming, another ND child would have no issues at all and need no help. In much the same way a NT child may be an excellent mathematician whereas another NT child may need a tutor and extra help to understand basic mathematical concepts.

I repeat, most if not all ND is a sliding scale of need, some ND may not need any support navigating the world, some may need a little support, some may need a lot.

There is a saying I will leave you with, "If you have met one autistic person then you have met one autistic person" Do not expect all autistic people to be the same just as you would not expect all non autistic people to be the same.

Show quote history

I asked because I do not know any ND children and since most talc manufactures now use cornflour rather than talc itself, it is now safe to use and might help. I hope you are able to solve your problem and that your child enjoys learning to swim

Pinkbananaa · 07/09/2025 09:13

Get the school to speak to the centre op if it was me I'd let her wear what she needed as an reasonable adjustment. We have had children visit the centre prior to lessons so they know what to expect and have accessible changing rooms available to them so they arent in the group change.

Farkinhell · 07/09/2025 08:16

Sounds like you've got everything sorted and you've had some amazing advice. One thing to add is that I pack a small hand towel (or the even smaller gym towel if we can find it) for my kids when they do school swimming lessons just to stand on when they're changing. Changing room floors can be grim and that way hopefully they have dry feet by the time the wrestle their shoes/socks back on (depending on the set up of where shoes go back on of course!)

Good luck with it all!

Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 07/09/2025 08:03

Ah DS is awake and ready to cause havoc! I'll be back later to read the other posts but a quick thank you for taking the time x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 07/09/2025 08:01

Pinkbananaa · 06/09/2025 21:42

Amazon.co.uk : zip up swimsuit girls https://share.google/horAOKpC95BVUpRtj.

What about this op? Can get short or long sleeves easier to get on and off. Can come as all in one with shorts.

I've added the link to my bookmarks to check out later with DD thank you.

You and a few others have mentioned the zip up front swimwear, am I being really silly and mean towards the really lovely boys in her class if my mind goes straight to "the boys might unzip it" (the answer by the way is yes lol the boys aren't like that at all and honestly I'm not even sure they've realised shes a girl as they just all see each other as mates)

OP posts:
RhaenysRocks · 07/09/2025 07:59

GameWheelsAlarm · 04/09/2025 20:21

Find a boyleg swimsuit like this? Can be worn under uniform in the morning, though obviously she'll still need to get changed into dry things after

Where is that image from? I love that! OP you've had some great advice. Preparation is key and maybe let your DD practise in the bath with taking it off when wet. Teach her to put socks inside shoes and clothes in her bag with towel on top so nothing gets wet on the changing room floor.

Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 07/09/2025 07:58

drspouse · 06/09/2025 21:42

My DS has dyspraxia and he's 13 now but only been swimming with school for about a year.
I made sure he was changing independently way before this, easier I suppose if it's me taking him not DH. "Busy now, I'll get to you in a minute... Oh you've done your shorts ok I'll just run and check your sister... Oh well done... Oh I'm going to get a coffee, meet me in the cafe".
The last battle was his locker key wristband and the last two times we went to the sports centre I had a gym class and he was swimming and he did it himself because I wasn't there.

This is exactly what we are working on but I admit I've not stood back enough at times. Since back to school and before I knew about the swimming lessons I have made a conscious effort to do this, "i just need to pack your snack/get your younger DB sorted/insert excuse to get me out of the room here" as I know I'm guilty of just jumping in and fixing it as its quicker and less stressful. I know this is a disservice to DD though and I thought I had a bit longer to get better at backing off but the imminent lessons means I'm ramping up efforts to get her the last little bit across the line to full independence with dressing

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 07/09/2025 07:53

BrownOwlknowsbest · 06/09/2025 21:38

Do children not learn to apply talc as the last stage of getting dry these days? It would solve the problem of clothes sticking to damp skin. Or is that just too complicated for ND children?

I personally have never used talc on either of my DC and I don't know any person that does given the now known link to certain cancers. Indeed I'm in my 40s and I don't recall my mother ever using it on me and my siblings.

I also can't decide if you are asking a genuine question with your last sentence and looking to educate yourself on the various difficulties ND children may experience or if you are being astoundingly rude and nasty? I'm going to think the best and answer as if it's a genuine question, ND children are just like NT children, no two are the same. SEN, ASD, ADHD, whatever other initials you can think of that may 'describe' an ND child are all a sliding scale, so whereas one ND child may struggle with a task such as getting dressed after swimming, another ND child would have no issues at all and need no help. In much the same way a NT child may be an excellent mathematician whereas another NT child may need a tutor and extra help to understand basic mathematical concepts.

I repeat, most if not all ND is a sliding scale of need, some ND may not need any support navigating the world, some may need a little support, some may need a lot.

There is a saying I will leave you with, "If you have met one autistic person then you have met one autistic person" Do not expect all autistic people to be the same just as you would not expect all non autistic people to be the same.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 07/09/2025 07:41

Pinkbananaa · 06/09/2025 21:37

Im a school swimming teacher and we have restrictions on two piece suits or low cut suits incase it goes down or riding up.You can get one piece that zips up and is easier to get on and off depends on the centres policy. You can get poncho towels or wrap around which will help with changing.

This is what I was concerned about that there may be restrictions, DDs lovely teacher is checking but doesn't think there will be an issue, however its clearly is a valid concern and one I'm glad I checked and to be aware if I'm able to continue the lessons outside of the school group to check with the instructor. Thank you for taking the time to post its appreciated.

OP posts:
Nearly50omg · 07/09/2025 06:18

FurForksSake · 04/09/2025 20:07

If she hasn’t swam before or been to that pool it would be good to take her there and do a practice. Also, she might be asked to put her head under, find out if she’s comfortable / needs goggles / needs it to be explained in advance that she can’t do that.

She’s going into a specialist sen unit - they already do all that as they know what they are doing!

LessOfThis · 07/09/2025 06:12

I swim and the struggle to get my bra on afterwards really put me off. I find that slathering my underbust in Nivea soft immediately before I put then bra on helps.

fashionqueen0123 · 06/09/2025 23:07

I'd recommend a hair towel for after. If she’s got long hair or she’ll have wet hair dripping down her back.
Two piece is much easier to get changed in and out of. Poncho towel is useful but if she has her own cubicle that solves a lot of issues!

If you can I’d enquire with the centre about lessons after. Usually schools only do a few lessons which isn’t enough to teach someone to swim properly if they’ve not done it before. Maybe there is a scheme you can access?

RoseAlone · 06/09/2025 23:01

BrownOwlknowsbest · 06/09/2025 21:38

Do children not learn to apply talc as the last stage of getting dry these days? It would solve the problem of clothes sticking to damp skin. Or is that just too complicated for ND children?

Talc is dangerous and very rarely used if at all nowadays thankfully

BreakingBroken · 06/09/2025 22:51

SHEIN Tween Girls Tropical Coconut Tree Print Short-Sleeve One-Piece Swimsuit,Black Bathing Suit ,Girls Surf Suit Summer Holiday | SHEIN
NOT suggesting Shein but i was pleased to see this rather nice swimsuit marked as adaptive.

TheOnlyThing · 06/09/2025 22:14

Rash vets and shorts

Pastaandoranges · 06/09/2025 22:13

I bought a combined shorts and tank top swim suit for a trip to the middle east and honestly it has been my best swimsuit for public pool swimming. No need to worry about pubic hair and it comes quite high on the chest like a vest top and has a double layer on the boob part. I wear it when zi take tge kids seimming as its easy and I dont need to worry about shaving. If you can find somrthing similar I think it would be a good option.

PurpleThistle7 · 06/09/2025 22:09

My daughter is 12 and is autistic. She can’t cope with a typical bathing suit so has always worn shorts and a rash guard. She got a long leg tankini at next and wears it with a boys rash guard top just now.

she has her period now and has period swim bottoms - just cheap and cheerful ones from Amazon but they help her feel more secure as needed.

my daughter didn’t like her hair being wet after. The leisure centre they use has a few dryers but if your daughter has long hair you might want to pack an extra towel or practice hair drying if it’s a trigger for her.