Page 6 | To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

Justinegh · 2025-09-04T14:34:41+00:00

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed. DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day. He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting. Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 05/09/2025 12:54

Yes, of course flannels are single use. My mum used to boil them in a cauldron big pan once a week.

notthepootroll2 · 05/09/2025 12:50

Frenchtoastie · 05/09/2025 12:38

This sums it up perfectly.

I actually feel sick at the thought of a flannel used on a bum at the sink

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Sometimes you have to do it
I had surgery and couldn’t shower or bath and there was no way I wasn’t washing. Very hot water, soap and a flannel and just put the flannel in the wash either
same as if you’re caring for someone who is bedbound, they can’t bathe or shower so it’s a bed wash

Leilaandtheloggerheads · 05/09/2025 12:46

Noshadelamp · 04/09/2025 15:54

He can't help needing the loo but he needs to shower afterwards, otherwise you are at a higher risk of a water infection.

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As long as he’s not rubbing shit all over his cock she’ll be fine 😂

My DP has an IBD, he uses the loo more than the average person, I don’t make him shower before sex specifically, I trust him to be able to manage his bodily functions appropriately lol.

Digdongdoo · 05/09/2025 12:40

Slightyamusedandsilly · 05/09/2025 12:39

Or no mat. If the flannel's not dripping it ain't gonna drip on the floor.

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Exactly. Easy peasy. I don't understand some people.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 05/09/2025 12:40

Frenchtoastie · 05/09/2025 12:38

This sums it up perfectly.

I actually feel sick at the thought of a flannel used on a bum at the sink

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And yet you're OK with a shag with a bloke who's just had a poo and no wash.

Illogical.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 05/09/2025 12:39

Digdongdoo · 05/09/2025 12:35

Wring the flannel out a bit, and stand on the shower mat?

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Or no mat. If the flannel's not dripping it ain't gonna drip on the floor.

Frenchtoastie · 05/09/2025 12:38

Mischance · 05/09/2025 09:57

A 6 year old washing her genitalia and anus with a flannel! Bung her in the bath!

There is more chance of her getting faecal contamination from the flannel than there was if she had just not bothered! And with a little girl she might contaminate her urinary tract with the anus flannel!

I am the least fussy of people but the idea of cleaning your anus with a flannel seems pretty darned gross to me! - especially a child. Imagine a laundry basket full of faecal flannels!

Just chill - have a shower, do a wet wipe job after a jobby if you must, but let's get this in proportion. The human body thrives on germs - it is intended to function with a bit of flora around. I am amazed at all this obsessive washing and bum fear!

This sums it up perfectly.

I actually feel sick at the thought of a flannel used on a bum at the sink

Digdongdoo · 05/09/2025 12:35

Frenchtoastie · 05/09/2025 12:32

100% serious how on earth do you do it

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Wring the flannel out a bit, and stand on the shower mat?

Digdongdoo · 05/09/2025 12:33

Slightyamusedandsilly · 05/09/2025 12:31

Common sense innit?

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I'm starting to think some people don't actually use anything to clean themselves in the bath/shower. Which is probably why they need to do it so often.

Frenchtoastie · 05/09/2025 12:32

Slightyamusedandsilly · 05/09/2025 09:46

Do I REALLY have to type out instructions for washing your bum WITHOUT getting the floor wet?

This has to be a wind up.

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100% serious how on earth do you do it

NoThanksNeeded · 05/09/2025 12:32

Slightyamusedandsilly · 05/09/2025 12:25

You go out to work / school without washing? Hmmm. How many times a day do you clean your teeth?

I'm teaching good hygiene. Kids need guidance.

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If I've showered the night before I don't shower again in the morning, no. Unless it's very warm and I'm very sweaty

You really don't need to

Slightyamusedandsilly · 05/09/2025 12:31

Digdongdoo · 05/09/2025 12:28

What's wrong with a flannel? You'd have to use a flannel or something in the bath anyway... A soapy flannel isn't going to contaminate anything.

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Common sense innit?

Digdongdoo · 05/09/2025 12:28

Mischance · 05/09/2025 09:57

A 6 year old washing her genitalia and anus with a flannel! Bung her in the bath!

There is more chance of her getting faecal contamination from the flannel than there was if she had just not bothered! And with a little girl she might contaminate her urinary tract with the anus flannel!

I am the least fussy of people but the idea of cleaning your anus with a flannel seems pretty darned gross to me! - especially a child. Imagine a laundry basket full of faecal flannels!

Just chill - have a shower, do a wet wipe job after a jobby if you must, but let's get this in proportion. The human body thrives on germs - it is intended to function with a bit of flora around. I am amazed at all this obsessive washing and bum fear!

What's wrong with a flannel? You'd have to use a flannel or something in the bath anyway... A soapy flannel isn't going to contaminate anything.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 05/09/2025 12:25

NoThanksNeeded · 05/09/2025 12:17

If you've bathed her in the evening she doesn't need a flannel wash in the morning!

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You go out to work / school without washing? Hmmm. How many times a day do you clean your teeth?

I'm teaching good hygiene. Kids need guidance.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 05/09/2025 12:20

Dontsayyouloveme · 05/09/2025 12:15

Okaaaaaaayyy…..

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There are so many snippy people around today. Must be something in the toilet water!

NoThanksNeeded · 05/09/2025 12:17

Slightyamusedandsilly · 05/09/2025 10:00

No time for a bath in the morning. Plus she'd wallow, get her hair soaked, which will require drying or it'll drip all down her back due to the thickness.

A quick wash is all it takes.

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If you've bathed her in the evening she doesn't need a flannel wash in the morning!

sweetpickle2 · 05/09/2025 12:16

According to the internet most men don't wash their arses properly anyway and think a bit of running water is enough, so I don't see what difference a shower makes.

Dontsayyouloveme · 05/09/2025 12:15

FieryA · 05/09/2025 05:59

Haha! You think you are so funny. If you are so dumb that you have to ask, then I can't be bothered to answer.

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Okaaaaaaayyy…..

Slightyamusedandsilly · 05/09/2025 12:08

Frenchtoastie · 05/09/2025 07:35

It’s a completely different ball game.
its like saying you think it would be normal to wash your bum in the kitchen sink?

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Except ONE sink is in the room with the toilet and the other is in the kitchen where you prepare food. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Lickityspit · 05/09/2025 11:41

I must admit I’m feeling my personal hygiene might be called into question. Other than if we are going for a date night I’d never shower before sex and don’t jump in the shower after a poo either. Quite often will have a tinkers wash at the sink too though do shower every morning. Never had any man turn down sex on the account that I stink 😂😂

Poodlelove · 05/09/2025 11:36

I do have a wash with flannel / soap / water all over when coming home from work just incase 🍆🙏🤸
I also shower every morning and wash my hair.
I expect my husband to do the same as he does alot of sport in the evenings.
Can I ask how you wash your bum in the sink everyone ?
Would you give partner a BJ if he hadn't washed / showered ? I couldn't.

FeliciaFancybottom · 05/09/2025 11:34

Doesn't getting up for a wash halfway through foreplay somewhat kill the mood?
Why would anyone be surprised that sticking a finger up someone's arse would result in a shit covered finger?
Are the words baby gravy possibly the worst two words I've ever read?
Could falling birth rates be due to people spending far too much time in the shower and worrying about 'bum' germs when they could be shagging?
So, so many questions.

Howinthehelldidthishappen · 05/09/2025 11:31

This thread is just utterly batshit.
I've never felt the need to have a shower after a poo.
I can't say I've ever had a shower specifically to have sex.
If I need to shit, I'm going to shit. I generally use the loo beforehand if I think sex is on the cards, if i need to shit while I'm there, guess what? I shit.
Much better than feeling like you might need to while shagging.
And if foreplay starts the last thing on my mind would be getting up to go wash or shower first. That's a proper mood killer.
Guess I'm also a grubby maggot 🤷‍♀️

Calliopespa · 05/09/2025 11:02

CeiladhAnyone · 05/09/2025 11:00

Yes, if I'm going to bed and thinking I might get lucky 😂. I don't want to be wondering if I'm clean, or smell, when DH is going down on me - but I'm an over thinker and everyone is different. He feels the same. I just look on it as a courtesy.

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I just think a shower before bed is nice anyway. Clean sheets, clean me, relaxed muscles😊

CeiladhAnyone · 05/09/2025 11:00

maxisback · 04/09/2025 16:48

People wash after going to the toilet?

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Yes, if I'm going to bed and thinking I might get lucky 😂. I don't want to be wondering if I'm clean, or smell, when DH is going down on me - but I'm an over thinker and everyone is different. He feels the same. I just look on it as a courtesy.