To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

Not many people faff around having baths and showers in the mornings before they go out to work when they only had a bath the previous evening. It's just not practical time wise for most people in a morning.

If he needs to be needs to go. Maybe he attends to his ablutions including showering and gets into bed after his done his stuff before you ready to get into bed .
I must admit the sounds coming out of an envelope suite bathroom can be off putting, morning or night. You just need to get a better routine.

You really don't seem to if you think washing with it is unhygienic.

I don't think you do....

Bum guns are more an Asian thing, it's a hose and nozzle by the bog in some countries and you can aim a jet of water at the vital parts. You wouldn't get them in British homes that's for sure.

I've never noticed them in the business class lounge in Abu Dhabi 😝

🤢🤮😆
I love this site sometimes!

Nah, you do that with the hard skin crumbs off his feet 😂

I can't be the only one who doesn't like clammy post-shower skin ... at most it's baby wipes or a flannel to freshen up before (if need be, definitely not every time and definitely not if we're just fooling around and it turns into something more). A shower would see me having to wait 15 mins before I could stand our skin being pressed together for any shenanigans. Kind of a mood killer in my book. Would rather just have sex in the shower.

I was baffled by that too. If that's the case surely you should shower before pulling your knickers back up then? God forbid you may need to shit away from home! Maybe some of these people need immodium!

Why not wait to go to bed till after his bathroom visit, relax, have a drink together and cuddle on the couch, then have a sexy shower together,,and btw beds are for sleeping in . Making babies can be anywhere, so vary it. Nothing more off putting than an in bed regimen at a certain time. Go out and have it away in the car like teens, living room floor / couch, jump off a few wardrobes lol I don’t think I had sex in bed all the time I was married, but we did have more options…boats, beaches, hillsides

I think OP’s main issue (but who knows as she hasn’t returned 🤔) is knowing that her DP is doing a “squeeze n splash” before the jiggy jiggy. It’s not very sexy or much of a turn on to be aroused and ready for sex and your DH to declare he’s dropping the twins at the pool whilst you lie in bed and wait for him to finish.

@Doweneedjellyfish
Maybe she's not aroused and ready for sex? She says they're TTC so perhaps it's more functional for both of them at the moment

i have absolutely come to the conclusion after reading this thread that my family are hot beds of filth. I had absolutely no idea. We all regularly shower/bath but I have absolutely no idea this was supposed to be multiple times a day and that I was supposed to be washing flannels/ towels daily and have them littered everywhere. Now, as it turns out, we don’t get ill very often, so I’ve come to the conclusion clearly that the grot is doing us a lot of good!

I've explained this topic to my DH. He is convinced it's got nothing to do with poo at all and more to do with a little masturbation. Is it possible that DH is having a cheeky little wank to calm his over excited libido and make the whole experience last a little bit longer ?? Or conversely, as they are TTC, is he getting himself close and in the mood all alone before leaping into bed? Guess we'll never know as the OP has disappeared!

I was horrified!!

Could never. Would never.

ewww that most have said your unreasonable he’s literally pooing before having sex and CHOOSING not to shower that’s grim

Another example of the wide range of people on MN…or indeed, anywhere.

Some people have hundreds of flannels - bum flannels washed after every use, face only flannels hung up to dry to serve another day.

On the other end of the spectrum, some people have NO flannels. At all. Nada.

Me, I’d say we have maybe around 15 flannels in the house in total. They have no designated use or living quarters and get washed as and when. I suspect I may be the only one in the house who uses them.

Yes, flannels are single use in our house. Especially bum ones. We've got lots and they get washed with the towels. Face only ones get hung up for next day though.

Inbetween uses? Or do you mean you wash it after each use?

The snippy people we also out yesterday 🙄

An extract from AIBU - a MN Romance:

Nigel looked over at Sandra and began to give her the come on eyes.

Sandra put down her phone from scrolling MN and smiled back

Nigel knew he was in for a good night

"Now, before we start, when did last have a shit and did you shower after it?" Sandra asked

Nigel decided he'd rather go to his exclusive and very outing hobby instead

I don’t have shit crusted sex 😂

I have a great sex life, thanks, and didn’t necessarily disagree with the rest of your post. The phrase “make love” just makes me cringe.

Not sure how that means I have shit crusted sex but ok 👌 😂

I may be wrong but I think if you're TTC then giving him a BJ is probably not helping...

Meant to quote this post. Sorry.

Er…is everyone giving their DH oral sex every time they have intercourse? Is this a thing? Am I doing sex wrong?

*quoted wrong post…see next post.