Page 3 | To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

Justinegh · 2025-09-04T14:34:41+00:00

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed. DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day. He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting. Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

Itwasachristmasjoke · 06/09/2025 23:26

Noshadelamp · 04/09/2025 15:54

He can't help needing the loo but he needs to shower afterwards, otherwise you are at a higher risk of a water infection.

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Unless he's rubbing poo over his willy, a shitty Cornhole isn't going to give op a water infection....

Pigeonpoodle · 06/09/2025 23:22

Plastictreees · 04/09/2025 16:35

Jesus Christ. I’m amazed people on MN are actually able to have sex, given the obsession with cleanliness and hygiene.

Yes, lots are exceedingly obsessed with hygiene…. These people must never have sex when they wake up in the morning (something I love). I’m lucky my DP and I don’t have all these hang ups…

And if your “mood” is so fragile that the mere thought of him going to the toilet 10 minutes before you start having sex is enough to ruin the mood, I’d think you have an issue.

FlyMeSomewhere · 06/09/2025 22:50

Katemax82 · 06/09/2025 22:01

If it's a bloody shit you should shower

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Was this comment really necessary? You knew exactly what I meant.

NoThanksNeeded · 06/09/2025 22:40

Slightyamusedandsilly · 06/09/2025 22:33

Exactly. It explains a bit why swimming pools have to have such a high concentration of chlorine in them, to kill all the BO and other germs floating around in them.

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Swimming pools have high chlorine because of all the piss let's be real

BO isn't dangerous

NoThanksNeeded · 06/09/2025 22:39

Slightyamusedandsilly · 06/09/2025 22:31

Showering twice a day would be excessive. One shower and one quick wash isn't excessive.

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Washing your whole body twice is excessive

Slightyamusedandsilly · 06/09/2025 22:33

bumbaloo · 06/09/2025 22:24

My arm pits smell of bo in the morning. And I do a poo first thing so yeah of course shower in the morning. And I shower at night because I’ve been rushing about all day. I’ve peed about 6 -7 times and I like to have a clean groin area and I like to go to bed generally clean.
Don’t think any of this is even remotely ocd

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Exactly. It explains a bit why swimming pools have to have such a high concentration of chlorine in them, to kill all the BO and other germs floating around in them.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 06/09/2025 22:31

NoThanksNeeded · 06/09/2025 22:29

Washing thoroughly like that twice a day is excessive unless exceptionally dirty or sweaty

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Showering twice a day would be excessive. One shower and one quick wash isn't excessive.

NoThanksNeeded · 06/09/2025 22:30

bumbaloo · 06/09/2025 22:24

My arm pits smell of bo in the morning. And I do a poo first thing so yeah of course shower in the morning. And I shower at night because I’ve been rushing about all day. I’ve peed about 6 -7 times and I like to have a clean groin area and I like to go to bed generally clean.
Don’t think any of this is even remotely ocd

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Needing to shower after a poo is odd

NoThanksNeeded · 06/09/2025 22:29

Slightyamusedandsilly · 06/09/2025 22:07

Actually, I'm at work for 6am 6 days a week. So I'm getting ready at 5am.

No need to be so rude just because you're triggered. There is nothing OCD about washing twice and cleaning teeth twice a day.

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Washing thoroughly like that twice a day is excessive unless exceptionally dirty or sweaty

bumbaloo · 06/09/2025 22:24

FlyMeSomewhere · 06/09/2025 21:06

If somebody has a bath and then goes to bed and then gets up and goes to work, why would they smell? You are teaching your daughter this have an OCD by the sounds of it, I wish had your luxury of having all that time in a morning! Ok my office days I have to leave at 7.30. but feel free to see me as smelly and beneath you!

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My arm pits smell of bo in the morning. And I do a poo first thing so yeah of course shower in the morning. And I shower at night because I’ve been rushing about all day. I’ve peed about 6 -7 times and I like to have a clean groin area and I like to go to bed generally clean.
Don’t think any of this is even remotely ocd

bumbaloo · 06/09/2025 22:14

People saying he needs to shower after…. Do you mean all men should shower befire sex or after doing a poo? If he pooped an hour before sex should he shower? What about the woman? Is it about pooping right before sex? How does it make any difference than if someone popped two hours earlier? The poo particles will still be there

Slightyamusedandsilly · 06/09/2025 22:07

FlyMeSomewhere · 06/09/2025 21:06

If somebody has a bath and then goes to bed and then gets up and goes to work, why would they smell? You are teaching your daughter this have an OCD by the sounds of it, I wish had your luxury of having all that time in a morning! Ok my office days I have to leave at 7.30. but feel free to see me as smelly and beneath you!

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Actually, I'm at work for 6am 6 days a week. So I'm getting ready at 5am.

No need to be so rude just because you're triggered. There is nothing OCD about washing twice and cleaning teeth twice a day.

FightingFish · 06/09/2025 22:05

This thread is quite the education. Personally I have a sprayer (bum gun!?) attached to the toilet, definitely good to use for number 2s and also for a quick hose when on a period. I think they are becoming more common in the UK these days. Also no flannels here, I didn’t realise they were so popular and had thought the use of them was dying out with my grandparents generation.

As for the OP, I imagine the fact that he is even telling you when he has had a shit is a massive turn off (or is he not telling you but you can smell it?).

Katemax82 · 06/09/2025 22:01

FlyMeSomewhere · 06/09/2025 20:45

I have IBS, I certainly can't allocate time to shower every time I have a bloody shit!

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If it's a bloody shit you should shower

Katemax82 · 06/09/2025 21:57

MathiasBroucek · 04/09/2025 16:09

Yeah, is that a thing?

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I have to shower my arse after a shit cos horrible skin tags and prolapsed rectum from having kids means I can't get clean otherwise

Katemax82 · 06/09/2025 21:54

My husband used to always empty his bowels pre sex..I asked him if he considered emptying his bowels as foreplay

LT1233 · 06/09/2025 21:53

I've never been able to understand how people, men mostly, can shit on demand. Must be great choosing when you can poo.

Bontasha · 06/09/2025 21:46

He might be more hygienic and comfortable getting it out before sex. As long as he is washing his hands and not smelling of shit! Then I dont see the problem.

broney · 06/09/2025 21:34

I had a partner who always needed to go to the loo DURING the deed, so we had to stop for a while. VERY off-putting. And difficult to get started again.

nobodysdaughter · 06/09/2025 21:14

@zov “rumpy pumpy” I haven’t heard anyone say that in years. Im really laughing 😂

FlyMeSomewhere · 06/09/2025 21:06

Slightyamusedandsilly · 06/09/2025 20:51

Really? It explains why public transport is so whiffy then.

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If somebody has a bath and then goes to bed and then gets up and goes to work, why would they smell? You are teaching your daughter this have an OCD by the sounds of it, I wish had your luxury of having all that time in a morning! Ok my office days I have to leave at 7.30. but feel free to see me as smelly and beneath you!

Shoutinglagerlagerlager · 06/09/2025 20:55

That’s gross 🤢, if he has to go he has to go, but there’s no way I’d be intimate with him immediately after. He’d definitely need to shower.

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 06/09/2025 20:51

Showering 2 times a day is appalling for skin health (and the environment). It’s most likely overall much more more damaginong to your hygiene showering everyday

https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20240423-theres-no-need-to-shower-every-day-heres-why

Slightyamusedandsilly · 06/09/2025 20:51

FlyMeSomewhere · 06/09/2025 20:42

Not many people faff around having baths and showers in the mornings before they go out to work when they only had a bath the previous evening. It's just not practical time wise for most people in a morning.

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Really? It explains why public transport is so whiffy then.

FlyMeSomewhere · 06/09/2025 20:45

BananaPeels · 05/09/2025 20:17

i have absolutely come to the conclusion after reading this thread that my family are hot beds of filth. I had absolutely no idea. We all regularly shower/bath but I have absolutely no idea this was supposed to be multiple times a day and that I was supposed to be washing flannels/ towels daily and have them littered everywhere. Now, as it turns out, we don’t get ill very often, so I’ve come to the conclusion clearly that the grot is doing us a lot of good!

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I have IBS, I certainly can't allocate time to shower every time I have a bloody shit!