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Original poster

To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

641 replies

Justinegh · 04/09/2025 15:34

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

OP posts:
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7
arcticpandas · 04/09/2025 15:55

Yabu wanting to dictate when he shits.
Yanbu to expect him to have a quick shower afterwards if he wants some hanky panky.

BarbarasRhabarberba · 04/09/2025 15:54

I wouldn’t feel like having sex if I needed a poo so perfectly reasonable he wants to poop first. Presumably he is wiping his bum? I don’t see the issue here. Do you shower after pooping or hold in your bodily functions until after sex? Sounds uncomfortable!

Noshadelamp · 04/09/2025 15:54

Justinegh · 04/09/2025 15:46

Sorry, yes I meant he is using the loo (no.2) and openly says he is making sure he isn’t bloated. He doesn’t shower after, no.

He can't help needing the loo but he needs to shower afterwards, otherwise you are at a higher risk of a water infection.

SummerHouse · 04/09/2025 15:54

"Excuse me darling I am just going to slip out something uncomfortable." 😂

TomatoSandwiches · 04/09/2025 15:53

And they say romance is dead 😂

Can he not have a shower?

MathiasBroucek · 04/09/2025 15:52

As a bloke, if I need/half need to have a poo, I'm not going to be relaxed enough to enjoy sex. And I'd be more likely to fart....

Presumably he wipes his bum and washes his hands afterwards?

Mary46 · 04/09/2025 15:51

Not ideal I would feel the same op.. hard to feel intimate then..

needsalotterywin · 04/09/2025 15:50

Hmmm, I wouldn't be too keen on this OP.
Chuck him a couple of Rennie's just before you go up, they'll disperse any bloating 👌

Rickrolypoly · 04/09/2025 15:49

Ffs, so what?? I can't imagine being told when I can go to the loo
Just mind your own business

Original poster
Justinegh · 04/09/2025 15:46

Sorry, yes I meant he is using the loo (no.2) and openly says he is making sure he isn’t bloated. He doesn’t shower after, no.

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 04/09/2025 15:44

Yeah girl, we need to know what he is doing in the toilet

Is there a smell after? If so, yanbu

Otherwise he could just be freshening up? x

Woompund · 04/09/2025 15:44

If he's having a poo does he not shower after if he's going to have sex?!

MirandaWest · 04/09/2025 15:44

Do you mean he’s doing a poo?

Rickrolypoly · 04/09/2025 15:43

Are you suggesting he is having a wank in there or actually using the loo?

CeiladhAnyone · 04/09/2025 15:41

Doesn't he wash after going to the loo?

everywhichway · 04/09/2025 15:40

Do you know what he's doing in there? He might be taking steps to help him last longer when he joins you.... IYSWIM.