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Original poster

To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

641 replies

Justinegh · 04/09/2025 15:34

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

OP posts:
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7
nomas · 04/09/2025 16:08

MathiasBroucek · 04/09/2025 16:03

A what?

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A shower for the bum!

To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?
Bloom2922 · 04/09/2025 16:08

Call me childish but this thread has me in hysterics.

mukk · 04/09/2025 16:08

Always fascinated that there are some people who seem to be able to choose the time of when they go to the toilet!

On nights when you're not going to have sex does he not go to the toilet?

FlexiSadie · 04/09/2025 16:08

You lot shower every time you have a shit?

HoLeeFuk · 04/09/2025 16:07

Instinct1 · 04/09/2025 15:56

How? I think I'm doing sex wrong!

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I think I'm doing shitting wrong, because I don't need a full shower afterwards!

Noshadelamp · 04/09/2025 16:07

@Instinct1 @Carrotsurprise from the NHS website
"Urinary tract infections (UTIs) are usually caused by bacteria from poo entering the urinary tract."

So obviously if he hasn't wiped properly even a microscopic amount of poop can be a problem.

Zov · 04/09/2025 16:06

InterestedDad37 · 04/09/2025 16:05

Yes 😂😂

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Well, you have left a very good time there! 😘

DiscoBob · 04/09/2025 16:06

He can't control his bowel movements, and needing a shit during sex is extremely ill advised. The results could be pretty messy.

Surely it's common for people to use the bathroom before sex? To 'freshen up'? And obviously poo or wee if needed as that area will be being used for something else for the foreseeable.

nomas · 04/09/2025 16:06

NoKnit · 04/09/2025 16:04

For goodness sake who needs to talk about when their husband goes to the toilet whether it be with complete strangers or not.

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OP does. Why shame her for it?

Zov · 04/09/2025 16:05

NoKnit · 04/09/2025 16:04

For goodness sake who needs to talk about when their husband goes to the toilet whether it be with complete strangers or not.

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Feel free to hide the thread. 🙃

InterestedDad37 · 04/09/2025 16:05

Zov · 04/09/2025 16:05

'Rumpy pumpy?' Did you just arrive in a time machine from the 1980s? 😂

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Yes 😂😂

Zov · 04/09/2025 16:05

InterestedDad37 · 04/09/2025 16:03

I mean if you gotta go, you gotta go... and what's in your digestive tract (whichever bit) can absolutely have an effect on a chap's 'mechanics'. Personally I'd wash/shower before engaging in subsequent rumpy pumpy 👍

'Rumpy pumpy?' Did you just arrive in a time machine from the 1980s? 😂

NoKnit · 04/09/2025 16:04

nomas · 04/09/2025 15:59

In case you’ve missed it, this is an anonymous forum.

Its literal reason for existence is to post about things you may not want to discuss in real life.

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For goodness sake who needs to talk about when their husband goes to the toilet whether it be with complete strangers or not.

MathiasBroucek · 04/09/2025 16:03

nomas · 04/09/2025 15:57

He should shower. I’m guessing he doesn’t use a bidet shower or bum gun?

A what?

Zov · 04/09/2025 16:03

YANBU. How off-putting! No matter what anyone else says, I would find it a bit grim to shag my DH a few minutes after he's had a shit.

Why does your DH always need a shit just before you have a shag? Very weird timing! 😬

InterestedDad37 · 04/09/2025 16:03

I mean if you gotta go, you gotta go... and what's in your digestive tract (whichever bit) can absolutely have an effect on a chap's 'mechanics'. Personally I'd wash/shower before engaging in subsequent rumpy pumpy 👍

Digdongdoo · 04/09/2025 16:01

It's not very sexy is it? I'd find that off putting too. I guess he can't choose when he needs the loo, but it's not particularly appealing as a precursor to intimacy.

nomas · 04/09/2025 16:00

333FionaG · 04/09/2025 15:57

Change the time of your shag, if him having a poo beforehand upsets you so much. It's not like he's having a shit then wiping his bum on the bedsheets, is it? You can't dictate to his gastro-intestinal tract what time he needs to have his bowels open. If it's always evening, initiate a morning shag instead - although you'll probably be put off by morning breath and fusty genitals. Poor man.

Why is her not wanting to have sex with someone with bad breath and fusty genitals a bad thing?

Carrotsurprise · 04/09/2025 15:59

Noshadelamp · 04/09/2025 15:54

He can't help needing the loo but he needs to shower afterwards, otherwise you are at a higher risk of a water infection.

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Wha??

nomas · 04/09/2025 15:59

NoKnit · 04/09/2025 15:57

I already feel sorry for the child you are yet to conceive. Not because of your issue with your husbands toilet habits but more the need to post it on the internet

In case you’ve missed it, this is an anonymous forum.

Its literal reason for existence is to post about things you may not want to discuss in real life.

333FionaG · 04/09/2025 15:57

Change the time of your shag, if him having a poo beforehand upsets you so much. It's not like he's having a shit then wiping his bum on the bedsheets, is it? You can't dictate to his gastro-intestinal tract what time he needs to have his bowels open. If it's always evening, initiate a morning shag instead - although you'll probably be put off by morning breath and fusty genitals. Poor man.

nomas · 04/09/2025 15:57

He should shower. I’m guessing he doesn’t use a bidet shower or bum gun?

NoKnit · 04/09/2025 15:57

I already feel sorry for the child you are yet to conceive. Not because of your issue with your husbands toilet habits but more the need to post it on the internet

SpaceRaccoon · 04/09/2025 15:56

The pooing, fine. The not washing after is a hard no for me though.

Instinct1 · 04/09/2025 15:56

Noshadelamp · 04/09/2025 15:54

He can't help needing the loo but he needs to shower afterwards, otherwise you are at a higher risk of a water infection.

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How? I think I'm doing sex wrong!