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Original poster

To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

641 replies

Justinegh · 04/09/2025 15:34

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

OP posts:
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7
Hayley1256 · 04/09/2025 16:22

I'd at least expect him to shower after having a no.2 if sex was on the agenda

BreakingBroken · 04/09/2025 16:22

@Woompund faces to genitals won’t help you conceive.
key here is piv.

HoLeeFuk · 04/09/2025 16:21

Meandmyguy · 04/09/2025 16:16

Sex at the end of the day without a shower oh god no.

Just the thought of him peeing all day and need even giving it a rinse under the tap fills me with the willies.

It's clearly working then.

DidILeaveTheGasOn · 04/09/2025 16:19

Can he poo on command? I am marvelling at the scheduled shits. If this man could have periods he'd get it all put of the way on the weekend. What else can he do?
Or does he have such a backlog (I'm sorry) that he can go whenever because he's full of it?
It would be like telling me I'm about to do a long car journey so I need to go to the loo now. I'd sit there completely unable to go until the following afternoon. No long car journey or ttc for me!

IDontKeepChickensButBelieveTheyExist · 04/09/2025 16:19

SummerHouse · 04/09/2025 15:54

"Excuse me darling I am just going to slip out something uncomfortable." 😂

👏🏻👏🏻 Howling at this 😂

InveterateWineDrinker · 04/09/2025 16:19

Either he shits and you hold back on the rimming, or he doesn't and you hold back on the pegging.

Woompund · 04/09/2025 16:18

BreakingBroken · 04/09/2025 16:15

Oddly the tip of my dh penis is nowhere near his bumhole…not even on the same side of his body, one bit’s on the front the other on the backside…
when dtd to ttc there’s no need to involve the bumhole.
dh showers lots, after a poo? No wiping is fine. Maybe it’s the super thick Costco toilet paper we use?
e-coli from poop to HANDS, to vagina, key is handwashing not showering.
like others I must be dtd wrong.

I don't know about bum holes but when I have sex I like faces to be fairly close to genitals and genitals are pretty close to bum holes - I don't want either me or my partner to be up close with an unwashed bum hole. And before people complain - yes I do know how to wipe my bum and no, wiping is NEVER as clean as a wash.

BeRoseSloth · 04/09/2025 16:17

Noshadelamp · 04/09/2025 16:07

@Instinct1 @Carrotsurprise from the NHS website
"Urinary tract infections (UTIs) are usually caused by bacteria from poo entering the urinary tract."

So obviously if he hasn't wiped properly even a microscopic amount of poop can be a problem.

I’m pretty sure that means your own poo and own urinary tract and is why we’re advised to wipe from front to back.

Meandmyguy · 04/09/2025 16:16

Sex at the end of the day without a shower oh god no.

Just the thought of him peeing all day and need even giving it a rinse under the tap fills me with the willies.

Coconutter24 · 04/09/2025 16:16

HoLeeFuk · 04/09/2025 16:07

I think I'm doing shitting wrong, because I don't need a full shower afterwards!

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Everyone should have a shower after a poo if they’re going to have sex 🤢

BreakingBroken · 04/09/2025 16:15

Oddly the tip of my dh penis is nowhere near his bumhole…not even on the same side of his body, one bit’s on the front the other on the backside…
when dtd to ttc there’s no need to involve the bumhole.
dh showers lots, after a poo? No wiping is fine. Maybe it’s the super thick Costco toilet paper we use?
e-coli from poop to HANDS, to vagina, key is handwashing not showering.
like others I must be dtd wrong.

Original poster
Justinegh · 04/09/2025 16:15

SaladAndChipsForTea · 04/09/2025 16:12

Tell me its not in the en suite!?

It's one thing to take yourself off to the bathroom, quite another to shit your guts out and present yourself for a shag as though you'll be gagging for it after hearing all that.

No it’s not (we don’t have one), but the bathroom is next door.

OP posts:
MrsPositivity1 · 04/09/2025 16:14

I’m with OP, I’d find it gross too

DeedlessIndeed · 04/09/2025 16:14

FlexiSadie · 04/09/2025 16:08

You lot shower every time you have a shit?

Not immediately after a poo, no. But in between a poo and sex? Yes, always shower!

PercyPigInAWig · 04/09/2025 16:13

Unless he was using the en-suite and letting stink enter the bedroom I cannot see the issue.

All this about water infections if your partner has a poo before sex just seems ridiculous too, I mean I’d expect him to be capable of cleaning his bum!

Woompund · 04/09/2025 16:13

FlexiSadie · 04/09/2025 16:08

You lot shower every time you have a shit?

No, but if I'm going to have sex I shower! I would never have a poo and then go to have sex without showering in the meantime

Rightandwrong · 04/09/2025 16:12

I think it's reasonable to use the loo before sex.
It's the not showering or at least washing his bum afterwards that is the problem.

Ablondiebutagoody · 04/09/2025 16:12

BuckChuckets · 04/09/2025 16:10

I just spent 5 minutes trying to work out how you get a water infection from having sex with someone who just had a poo - still no idea!

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Brown to pink

SaladAndChipsForTea · 04/09/2025 16:12

Tell me its not in the en suite!?

It's one thing to take yourself off to the bathroom, quite another to shit your guts out and present yourself for a shag as though you'll be gagging for it after hearing all that.

LaughingCat · 04/09/2025 16:10

I’d always want to go to the loo before sex if possible - nothing worse than trying to relax and enjoy myself when I’m worried about smelly farts or intestinal pressure down there (or a growing urge to pee). I probably wouldn’t fully shower but deffo a quick wash at the sink to make sure I didn’t whiff afterwards.

He’s making sure that sex isn’t either interrupted or that he releases a stink bomb. That seems rather lovely of him really.

Zov · 04/09/2025 16:10

HoLeeFuk · 04/09/2025 16:07

I think I'm doing shitting wrong, because I don't need a full shower afterwards!

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😆💩

BuckChuckets · 04/09/2025 16:10

Instinct1 · 04/09/2025 15:56

How? I think I'm doing sex wrong!

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I just spent 5 minutes trying to work out how you get a water infection from having sex with someone who just had a poo - still no idea!

Coconutter24 · 04/09/2025 16:10

MathiasBroucek · 04/09/2025 15:52

As a bloke, if I need/half need to have a poo, I'm not going to be relaxed enough to enjoy sex. And I'd be more likely to fart....

Presumably he wipes his bum and washes his hands afterwards?

What about washing his bum?

Ablondiebutagoody · 04/09/2025 16:10

I would shower between shit and sex, so would want my partner to as well.

MathiasBroucek · 04/09/2025 16:09

FlexiSadie · 04/09/2025 16:08

You lot shower every time you have a shit?

Yeah, is that a thing?