Page 22 | To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

Justinegh · 2025-09-04T14:34:41+00:00

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed. DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day. He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting. Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

Littlejellyuk · 04/09/2025 16:49

MathiasBroucek · 04/09/2025 16:03

A what?

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I beg your finest pardon? 🤨

What on earth is a bum gun? 💦 🔫 💩

BusWankers · 04/09/2025 16:49

maxisback · 04/09/2025 16:48

People wash after going to the toilet?

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Well, presumably they mean, wash his hands...

InveterateWineDrinker · 04/09/2025 16:49

I imagine that cottaging will probably blow your mind then.

Petitchat · 04/09/2025 16:49

Noshadelamp · 04/09/2025 15:54

He can't help needing the loo but he needs to shower afterwards, otherwise you are at a higher risk of a water infection.

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What? You do know it's the penis going into the vagina when ttc?
What's his bumhole got to do with it ?

BusWankers · 04/09/2025 16:49

Shewasafaireh · 04/09/2025 16:46

But this isn’t a case of spontaneous sex, it’s a man that knows he’s going to have sex and also knows he’s going to use the toilet. He could easily have a shower.

I’m not even getting into the topic of lack of bidets…………….

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Presumably OP isn't showering before sex and has pooed at some point that day.

JaneyDC · 04/09/2025 16:49

Get him some wet toilet wipes if he's not going to shower. Then his butt should be sparkling.. Although, tbh if would put me off knowing he'd just finished having a shit! As long as he cleans himself up properly and no oral, it's not too bad.

ComfortFoodCafe · 04/09/2025 16:48

maxisback · 04/09/2025 16:48

People wash after going to the toilet?

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Apparently so 😂

ComfortFoodCafe · 04/09/2025 16:48

Isnt sex supposed to be spontaneous? Who said romance was dead

maxisback · 04/09/2025 16:48

CeiladhAnyone · 04/09/2025 15:41

Doesn't he wash after going to the loo?

People wash after going to the toilet?

AardvarkaKedavra · 04/09/2025 16:47

I think I have fairly high hygiene standards, but no, I refuse to shower twice a day unless I'm actively dirty or sweaty. I time my activities so that it's unnecessary to do so. How on earth did anyone manage, back in the days of weekly (or less frequent) bathing?

SeaAndStars · 04/09/2025 16:46

WhatdoesitmeanKeith · 04/09/2025 16:36

This thread has cracked me up. So funny.

I keep wondering if someone is going to suggest a shared shower as foreplay.

Edited

Or perhaps a mutual sluice down with the bum gun?

Shewasafaireh · 04/09/2025 16:46

BauhausOfEliott · 04/09/2025 16:41

OP, unless you're planning to lick his arsehole - which I get the distinct impression you are not - this really isn't an issue.

I personally would find it more off-putting knowing that my partner needed a shit the whole time we were shagging than I would knowing he'd been to the loo beforehand.

As for people insisting that everyone should shower before sex... I forgot that in the world of Mumsnet, people are meant to scrub down with Dettol and then sanitise any interlocking body parts with antibac wipes before gritting their teeth and suffering through their duty of having to be in contact with another human body.

Seriously, does nobody on this website ever just have a spontaneous shag? I've literally never in my life, when about to have sex with someone, thought 'Hmm, when did they last have a poo? Was his last shit before or after his morning shower?'

But this isn’t a case of spontaneous sex, it’s a man that knows he’s going to have sex and also knows he’s going to use the toilet. He could easily have a shower.

I’m not even getting into the topic of lack of bidets…………….

Mary46 · 04/09/2025 16:46

Ah got good laugh from replies 😆

Memberofstaff · 04/09/2025 16:46

Can't believe the amount of people who won't have sex with someone unless they've showered. Not very spontaneous is it?

BuckChuckets · 04/09/2025 16:44

Ablondiebutagoody · 04/09/2025 16:43

Ah yes, unlikely with their own penis.

Toys?

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From his poopy bum to her vagina? Oh my god this thread is getting grim, haha

KnitFastDieWarm · 04/09/2025 16:44

Plastictreees · 04/09/2025 16:43

Brilliant post. A number of posters on this thread desperately need to unclench 😆

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…but not too much, or they’ll need a
shower afterwards 😁

Shewasafaireh · 04/09/2025 16:43

AardvarkaKedavra · 04/09/2025 16:38

Not until MN had I ever heard that people 'should' shower before sex or abstain after pooing until they'd had a shower. I understand that the thought of 'toilet activities' is not particularly romantic or sexy, but if I understand correctly, some people think you shouldn't have sex in the evening if you defecated at any point in the day after your morning shower? Seems like an awful lot of work, to be honest!

A 5min shower out of consideration for your partner seems like a lot of work?

If you’re showered in the morning, then presumably went to work and also used the toilet a few times… why would you want sweaty sex? Just hop in the shower before bed.

AardvarkaKedavra · 04/09/2025 16:43

Woompund · 04/09/2025 16:39

Having a quick shower before sex isn't 'a lot of work' and it makes everything a lot nicer for everyone. Do you have sex in the evening after not showering since the morning?!

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Well, I don't tend to get that sweaty or dirty during the day, so I don't feel I need a shower, honestly. If I've been doing something sweaty, then I'd have a shower before bed, regardless of anything else.

And I do think showering is a lot of work if I don't need one. Long hair takes some effort to wash and comb, and I need to moisturise my skin... Maybe I'm just lazy, but on the other hand, DH has never seemed to mind!

Coconutter24 · 04/09/2025 16:43

BreakingBroken · 04/09/2025 16:22

@Woompund faces to genitals won’t help you conceive.
key here is piv.

Some people don’t just skip everything (foreplay wise) just because they are trying to conceive

Plastictreees · 04/09/2025 16:43

BauhausOfEliott · 04/09/2025 16:41

OP, unless you're planning to lick his arsehole - which I get the distinct impression you are not - this really isn't an issue.

I personally would find it more off-putting knowing that my partner needed a shit the whole time we were shagging than I would knowing he'd been to the loo beforehand.

As for people insisting that everyone should shower before sex... I forgot that in the world of Mumsnet, people are meant to scrub down with Dettol and then sanitise any interlocking body parts with antibac wipes before gritting their teeth and suffering through their duty of having to be in contact with another human body.

Seriously, does nobody on this website ever just have a spontaneous shag? I've literally never in my life, when about to have sex with someone, thought 'Hmm, when did they last have a poo? Was his last shit before or after his morning shower?'

Brilliant post. A number of posters on this thread desperately need to unclench 😆

Ablondiebutagoody · 04/09/2025 16:43

BuckChuckets · 04/09/2025 16:39

Yes, but that's nothing to do with the penis holder having just had a poo, surely?

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Ah yes, unlikely with their own penis.

Toys?

DeedlessIndeed · 04/09/2025 16:41

Even when TTC sex doesn't just have to be PIV? What's this nonsense about faces won't be near genitals simply because TTC?

Just because it won't get you pregnant, doesn't mean faces / hands / whatever won't be involved in the enjoyment?

BauhausOfEliott · 04/09/2025 16:41

OP, unless you're planning to lick his arsehole - which I get the distinct impression you are not - this really isn't an issue.

I personally would find it more off-putting knowing that my partner needed a shit the whole time we were shagging than I would knowing he'd been to the loo beforehand.

As for people insisting that everyone should shower before sex... I forgot that in the world of Mumsnet, people are meant to scrub down with Dettol and then sanitise any interlocking body parts with antibac wipes before gritting their teeth and suffering through their duty of having to be in contact with another human body.

Seriously, does nobody on this website ever just have a spontaneous shag? I've literally never in my life, when about to have sex with someone, thought 'Hmm, when did they last have a poo? Was his last shit before or after his morning shower?'

Doseofreality · 04/09/2025 16:41

Depends on whether you peg him or not really.

TakeMeDancing · 04/09/2025 16:40

🍿