To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

People were using it to mock certain posts and posters.

Of course we do (ie after a night out), but generally speaking we both shower before bed as part of every day routine.

I’m not sure why people keep pointing out spontaneity when in OP’s case they know they’re going to have sex.

I think because people were using it on serious comments, which was considered rude/trolling. We can’t be trusted not to troll with the 😂.

Why?

I'd be put off too and am with everyone who says he needs to shower, definitely. Urgh!

We do, why was it ever removed?!

Seriously, does nobody on this website ever just have a spontaneous shag? I've literally never in my life, when about to have sex with someone, thought 'Hmm, when did they last have a poo? Was his last shit before or after his morning shower?'
Spontaneous? I make my husband book an appointment and fill in a questionnaire before I even consider having sex with him.

As for people insisting that everyone should shower before sex... I forgot that in the world of Mumsnet, people are meant to scrub down with Dettol and then sanitise any interlocking body parts with antibac wipes before gritting their teeth and suffering through their duty of having to be in contact with another human body

I know it's fun to take the piss but when you've been hospitalised with kidney infections after years of UTIs every time you have sex, the advice for some of us does become "you and your partner must shower thoroughly before sex. Hands, genitals and arseholes."

It would definitely put me off too. He needs to change his body rhythms!

😂😂😂

Oh... we need the laughter emoji back MNHQ!!

I would have sex in the evening even if I haven’t had a shower that morning

I’m picturing you laying seductively on the bed wearing a silk nightie, a scented candle on your nightstand and the lights are dimmed, you flick your hair and lick your lips and he appears from the en-suite, naked from the waist down, flapping his hands and holding his nose, ‘ Bloody hell love, the size of that Jobby, I’ll have to get the plumber out in the morning, I think I’ve stunk the whole street out…’ 😩

Kindly, check his phone. My ex would spend so much time sitting on the toilet because that was his only time in private where I wouldn’t walk in. He was cheating on me, on many dating apps, messaging multiple women.

so I would be wary wether your partner is either doing this to get himself amped up or watching porn

Those who expect their other halves to shower after using the loo before sex - do you never have spontaneous sex?

Unplanned sex starts to heat up and you say "hold on darling - when did you last have a poo and have you showered since?" and then if they haven't showered pause proceedings while they hop in for a quick wash.

@Justinegh - if he doesn't want to have a shower, just buy a bottle of Wype and ask him to use it

Unless you're sticking your finger up his arse I dont see the issue? Or he's coming to bed with it stuck on him, presumably he wipes etc. I dont tend to get that close to the actual bumhole when I am intimate with DH maybe im doing it wrong 😂

I'd like to "be prepared" so to speak, before having sex too, i wouldnt want to be putting all that strain on my abdomen while doing the deed if i really needed a shit during it all.

It wouldn’t be Mumsnet without a diagram, so…yes please.

I accept that having a shower is a nice thing to do, but it really doesn't matter if you don't. We are organic - sweat, shed skin, go to the loo. This isn't a bar to having sex with someone.
During the summer when people have been a bit sweaty overnight. Have none of you had a quicky in the morning on first waking up? The moment is gone if you get up.

I have some friends who are swingers. One day they had a potential candidate come round for some spontaneous fun. When he arrived, he went in the bathroom for 20 mins where they heard the whole commotion of his bowels.

Yes they asked him to leave after and didn't even have a shag themselves. Probably the most disturbing story they've shared

I don’t see the issue about pooing. Tho a shower would be nice after if he’s expecting a blow job /lick etc around the ball/bum area

i always try for a wee before or else painful having sex if need to go

he obv wants to relax during sex

so say you are going to bed. He will go for a poo. You go up 10mins later

So you never just have spur of the moment spontaneous sex?

Funnily enough I was just thinking I suddenly appreciate 10x more how my partner is so OTT about cleaning and smelling nice, including before coming to bed.

Different streaks strokes, different folks.

But doesn't everyone use the toilet immediately before getting into bed and whatever is necessary happens, or am I getting old, well probably, but I think I always have,

As a woman, I feel the same. I wouldn’t feel the need to shower straight afterwards either. As an adult I’m able to wipe properly, with wet wipes if needed. If there were smell issues or other ‘side effects’ that actually affected you then you’d be within your rights to bring it up, but otherwise it’s none of your business. I’d hate someone to feel like they could have a say in what time of day I ‘took the kids to the pool’.

Just imagine! The 10.30pm knock on the door. "Excuse me mate, could I just use the loo? I need to take a shit and have a quick pump of your bum gun 'cus I'm on a promise."