To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

And now, somehow, a man not showering before sex somehow equates to a man not getting up to do night feeds?
This thread is the gift that keeps on giving.

People saying he needs to shower after a poo 😂😂 wtf! Wait until you have been married 20 years and had a bunch of kids - I can assure you you will both be very used to each others bodily functions. THEY ARE NATURAL! Would you want to shag if you needed a poo? I suffer from constipation and I often have to let my partner know that I cant have sex for that reason.
Basically - grow up a bit. Pooiing is nothing to be ashamed of and you don't need to boil wash yourself afterwards, bum wipe and a hand wash has done for 1000s of years!

Agreed. If I had to do all that I'd lose the vibe, but everyone is different!

For many of us we go when the body says so. Your DP is a real human, not a Disney prince. My husband farts and belches like it's his job any time he feels like it, and it can be off putting, but he has so many other positive qualities that the bodily stuffwhich is NORMALdoesn't phase me. I don't want to do the deed if I'm full of poo, so I feel for the guy.

Why does it matter, are you playing with his bum then?

Definitely bum guns in this Abu Dhabi lounge toilet

Surprises me tbh

Depends if he uses the back door as well as the front. 😉

A wash down after, yes. But not before and having also showered that morning...

Not sure I’m doing sex properly if this is the case (and I have two kids too 😳😳😳🤣🤣). Not sure if your reasoning. Poop comes out the back?

If he’s gotta go, he’s gotta go! He wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself if he needed to poop (I know that would put me off). As for showering after, if he wipes properly and washes his hands, I don’t see the need 🙄

All fascinating. I am astounded at all this fastdiousness and find it hard to believe that people really are in and out of showers and washing their genital region so many times.

I used to have IBS and was on and off the loo 10 times a day for years. If I had showered after every motion, how would I have been able to hold down my job and bring up my children? The important point here is that clearly I did not shower/wash after each motion and yet here I am alive and well!

Do those of you who insist on showers before sex never just get caught up in the mood, or have a quickie, with their partner/husband? Or is sex always planned and organised around showering routines?

You don't have to shower all over afterwards, mainly your 'bits' unless you have become very sweaty and sticky after a session. A bidet is a good idea actually. Showers don't take nearly as much water as baths. Most people wouldn't go to bed dirty and clean themselves afterwards surely, otherwise you'd be all icky.

For me and many other women, both having a shower before means the difference between having cystitis afterwards or not. It doesn't mean we're over fastidious but rather according to the specialist who treated me, we're just unlucky enough to have "sticky" cells. If he can't be bothered showering now before sex, it doesn't say much about the chances of him ever doing a night feed. And if he knows it bugs you, and it would bug me, sticky cells or not, the fact that he can't be bothered to make sure you enjoy sex is a fairly concerning factor.

I'm just imagining the water bill! That's the least sexy part of it all

If you've been very sweaty/swimming/got dirty then yes you might want a second shower

But showering twice a day on a normal day is excessive, bad for your skin and bad for the planet

People have different bodies so hygiene needs differ. I shower once a day in the evening after work. I'm not a sweaty person, barely sweat during winter unless doing cardio, and not a sweaty sleeper. My hair does much better washed at night, and I'm still fresh going into work the next day as I don't generally have BO except in the height of summer. I also have sensitive skin, showering / washing multiple times a day can give me eczema and generally just make me itchy and uncomfortable. Shower at night means generally clean for any sex, but I don't say no to morning sex on the weekend just cos I haven't showered...

However if you're a sweaty person, do lots of running around during the day, have no skin probs, or are prone to UTIs after sex then I can see the argument for showering multiple times a day. The problem is applying your personal needs and preferences across the board as if your body is the default norm, rather than just one of many different types.

You shower before AND after sex? Honestly I’d never shag again if I felt I had to do that, I couldn’t be arsed.

It was a response to someone saying one shower and a wash was excessive. I used to shower twice a day, but it dried my skin out.

if I understand correctly, some people think you shouldn't have sex in the evening if you defecated at any point in the day after your morning shower

I think that if you're going to expect someone to have sex with you and they last had a shower in the morning, shit or no shit since, it would be most pleasant if they, and you, would jump back in the shower before you stick your noses into each other. I would also usually get back in the shower after the sex. So that's three showers. What a pervert.

Orrrrrrrr..... have sex in the shower. Kill two birds with one stone kind of thing!

He could potentially have showered an hour before his poo, doesn't have to have been 12 hours before

How is it excessive? I often have two showers a day, especially in summer or if I've been excercising, it's normal! Say you get up and get in the shower, quite normal, wash your hair and do the day, not at all excessive to want another quick shower before bed.

I wouldn't want to have a roll around with someone who last had a shower twelve odd hours ago.... have a shit, fine, jump in the shower, you're allowed more than one a day and it's really not "work", it's keeping your crevices clean!