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Original poster

To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

641 replies

Justinegh · 04/09/2025 15:34

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

OP posts:
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7
RubySquid · 04/09/2025 17:46

Zov · 04/09/2025 16:03

YANBU. How off-putting! No matter what anyone else says, I would find it a bit grim to shag my DH a few minutes after he's had a shit.

Why does your DH always need a shit just before you have a shag? Very weird timing! 😬

Yeah that would be a no no for me as well

2Magpies24 · 04/09/2025 17:45

Do you make him nervous?!

Plastictreees · 04/09/2025 17:44

This thread is a classic, surely? MN at its finest.

Illberidingshotgun · 04/09/2025 17:44

TakeMeDancing · 04/09/2025 17:28

I buy a new mattress every time I DTD.

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That's just skanky. You should be moving house every time.

ImogenBrocklehurst · 04/09/2025 17:43

nomas · 04/09/2025 15:57

He should shower. I’m guessing he doesn’t use a bidet shower or bum gun?

WTF is a bum gun??

I mean, I can imagine what it is, but I didn’t know it’s a thing 🤯

Ihavetoask · 04/09/2025 17:43

Slightyamusedandsilly · 04/09/2025 17:40

If he's not showering afterwards, she's going to be thinking he smells shitty.

I'm assuming you're a bloke? How about she has sex while she's on her period without washing?

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Not comparable. It would be comparable to doing anal with totally uncontrollable diarrhoea

Lickityspit · 04/09/2025 17:43

This has cheered up my otherwise rubbish day 😂😂

BustyLaRoux · 04/09/2025 17:42

If either me or DP need a poo before sex then we have the manners to wash/shower afterwards. In with you OP, poo germs or the thought of poo germs is not appealing. I know exit hole is round the back not the front but to me it’s all in the vicinity and a quick wash is just good manners. I used to suffer with UTIs an awful lot so stringent hygiene practices are second nature to me and DP just to be on the safe side. Besides, it’s nice to be clean!

Slightyamusedandsilly · 04/09/2025 17:40

Rickrolypoly · 04/09/2025 15:49

Ffs, so what?? I can't imagine being told when I can go to the loo
Just mind your own business

If he's not showering afterwards, she's going to be thinking he smells shitty.

I'm assuming you're a bloke? How about she has sex while she's on her period without washing?

NewHere83 · 04/09/2025 17:40

Instinct1 · 04/09/2025 15:56

How? I think I'm doing sex wrong!

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Thank god you said this!!!

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 04/09/2025 17:37

Mischance · 04/09/2025 17:31

He has a crap, then washes his hands - where's the problem?

It's no different from him having had a crap earlier in the day and then washing his hands.

Is he not to crap at all if sex is planned that day?

Well, this whole thread just demonstrates how bonkers most MNetters are.

JaneyDC · 04/09/2025 17:37

Petitchat · 04/09/2025 16:50

Why can't he get his own wet toilet wipes?

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He obviously can. 🙄 I literally put that as I often do the online food shop and get them.

ExtraOnions · 04/09/2025 17:36

Unless he’s being Rimmed or Pegged, I don’t see the problem.

JenXWarrior · 04/09/2025 17:34

I had a bf who'd slope off to the bathroom every time we were heading to bed. He wasn't having a poo but was away too long for a wee. I'd get sick of waiting and just go to sleep. I hoped he'd stop doing it if he was missing out on a shag but nope, he did it every time.

Eventually I found out what he was doing. I made a startling discovery in his toiletry bag. He'd left it wide open. I'm not a snooper otherwise I'd have found it long before then.

He wore foundation and had to remove it before coming to bed in case it got on the pillows. I don't know what was worse, that it was Chanel and more expensive than mine or that it was the same one his mother used.

That's one for the next 'Ick' thread.

IsEveryoneJustBotsNow · 04/09/2025 17:33

Ablondiebutagoody · 04/09/2025 16:12

Brown to pink

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Well if op or her dh is sticking something up his arse and then up her fanny it’s a recipe for disaster anyway wether he’s had a shower or not.

SL2924 · 04/09/2025 17:33

A poo would not be acceptable foreplay for me either.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 04/09/2025 17:32

Rickrolypoly · 04/09/2025 15:49

Ffs, so what?? I can't imagine being told when I can go to the loo
Just mind your own business

The issue is going to take a shit just before hating sex with her puts her off so he can be considerate and take his shit at a different time.

There isn't a pressing need to take a dump just before being intimate especially when she is expected to be turned on and around him attractive. Unfortunately the act of him going to take a shit turns her off so it's an easier solution for him to take a shit at a different time or maybe have a shower after. I would find it repulsing to give him a blowjob knowing he just got off the toilet taking a shit.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 04/09/2025 17:31

I would want DH to shower if he’d pooed immediately before sex…. I wouldn’t be keen on oral, or touching his perineum or bum if he hadn’t. I’d shower if I had to poo before sex for the same reason.

Mischance · 04/09/2025 17:31

He has a crap, then washes his hands - where's the problem?

It's no different from him having had a crap earlier in the day and then washing his hands.

Is he not to crap at all if sex is planned that day?

Instructions · 04/09/2025 17:28

I'm not sure if my husband demanded I change my bowel opening time to suit his tender sensibilities that I actually could do so. If he said it was because he didn't like having sex with me knowing I had just been to the toilet I would just think him such a precious little muppet and not feel inclined to have sex with him at all.

TakeMeDancing · 04/09/2025 17:28

FeliciaFancybottom · 04/09/2025 17:26

I hope everyone's burning the sex towel and sheets afterwards.

I buy a new mattress every time I DTD.

ChelseaDetective · 04/09/2025 17:27

It’s the thought that get put in your head isn’t it, its hardly sexy - I totally get it. Mine likes to go off for a long ‘bathroom session’ at times I wish he wouldn’t. Most memorably just before proposing.

Maybe you could ask him to shower before doing the deed so he would smell good and you’d just have the shower image in your head instead of the one of him having a dump. That’s not likely to get you in the mood, surely he can see that?

FeliciaFancybottom · 04/09/2025 17:26

I hope everyone's burning the sex towel and sheets afterwards.

Faceonthewrongfoot · 04/09/2025 17:24

Ah, this thread is reminding me of the one where people were doing a full bedding change immediately after sex. There's nowt as queer as folk.

MumWifeOther · 04/09/2025 17:24

This would be a major turn off for me too. No getting into bed and getting naked after doing a number 2 in my house, shower first. Certainly no penises would be going in my mouth if they’ve been dangling into the toilet bowl 😂 Forturnately we’re all very regular so our natural routine is to go the toilet before showering in the morning!