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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

641 replies

Justinegh · 04/09/2025 15:34

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

OP posts:
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7
Crazycatladywithnocats · 04/09/2025 18:57

DidILeaveTheGasOn · 04/09/2025 16:56

It's not spontaneous if not only the sex is planned but the shit is too. And don't mens bathroom breaks take about 20 minutes while they wait for poo stork to drop a fresh basket for them to subsequently deposit?

Does he carry it around all evening and then descend upon the throne in due preparation every evening, ready to poo and proceed to his required duties? Does HE feel sexy when he's literally just had a poo?

Again, if you told me I had to poo right now I would be flabbergasted and entirely constipated.
This man is a marvel of the arse region. He ought to be revered throughout the land for his predictable and efficient deposits. Truly an example to all the other men seemingly glued arsedown to the toilet seat.

🤣🤣

Notmyreality · 04/09/2025 18:56

FlexiSadie · 04/09/2025 16:08

You lot shower every time you have a shit?

I go to the local car wash for a full hose down just to be sure.

Didimum · 04/09/2025 18:56

The amount of Mumsnetters who are terrified of human bodies is truly astounding.

RubySquid · 04/09/2025 18:55

Calliopespa · 04/09/2025 18:48

Actually I genuinely haven't. Lots of bidets but they don't tend to have any high power water features. It's more of a garden hose type slosh, or a tap to fill the bowl.

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If you ever transit through the middle east pop in the airport toilets , Doha, Dubai, Amman etc all have them lol.

I have one at home ( although we had to put some special plumbing in) as well as much prefer to wash that wipe with a bit of tissue or ruin the environment with wet wipes.

And aim down and backwards while seated lol

Calliopespa · 04/09/2025 18:54

Shewasafaireh · 04/09/2025 18:49

Patent that asap, you might be on to something! 🐶

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Imagine the affronted looks on a cat's face or the yowl of a dog if you fired a bum gun at their anus.

Lotsnlotsoflove · 04/09/2025 18:53

I don't get this at all, if he pooped at 2 pm would that put you off sex if he didn't shower beforehand? Or is it just that he goes immediately prior?

Crazycatladywithnocats · 04/09/2025 18:52

Meandmyguy · 04/09/2025 16:16

Sex at the end of the day without a shower oh god no.

Just the thought of him peeing all day and need even giving it a rinse under the tap fills me with the willies.

We’re only talking about “one” willy here. 😆😂

Shewasafaireh · 04/09/2025 18:49

TakeMeDancing · 04/09/2025 18:36

With what? And how did they dispose of it? Was it immediately incinerated?

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I might be wrong (it’s not like I was checking, I just saw them doing it a couple times) but I’m pretty sure it was just wet wipes.

Shewasafaireh · 04/09/2025 18:49

SeaAndStars · 04/09/2025 18:22

Oh dear oh dear. It is only a matter of time before PetsAtHome are selling dog bum guns with pawbath attachment.

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Patent that asap, you might be on to something! 🐶

Calliopespa · 04/09/2025 18:48

RubySquid · 04/09/2025 18:46

Well I can't believe you've never come across a bum gun before then

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Actually I genuinely haven't. Lots of bidets but they don't tend to have any high power water features. It's more of a garden hose type slosh, or a tap to fill the bowl.

YankSplaining · 04/09/2025 18:47

I can understand wanting him to wash afterwards. It might not bother some people, which is okay, but if it does bother you, that’s okay too. My husband wouldn’t have an issue with being asked to wash and neither would I.

If it’s simply the fact that your husband just pooped* a minute ago that is gross or unsexy to you, I think that’s a little extreme. It’s a bodily function everyone has - and if you two do have a baby, trust me, he’s going to be around all kinds of potentially gross bodily functions from you if he’s there when the baby is born. If you have a c-section, he’ll even get to see the doctor move your intestines!

*Yeah, I know people say “poo” in the UK, but I can’t say it without feeling like I’m LARPing a British person.

RubySquid · 04/09/2025 18:46

Calliopespa · 04/09/2025 18:43

I've travelled lots. Clearly I need to sign up for a few toilet tours.

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Well I can't believe you've never come across a bum gun before then

Calliopespa · 04/09/2025 18:45

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 04/09/2025 18:43

Sorry, that posted twice

Edited

Which direction would you fire it in? Upwards or forwards - which seems to me it might blast everything in the direction of a nasty uti.

I suppose downwards?

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 04/09/2025 18:43

Sorry, that posted twice

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 04/09/2025 18:43

I want a bum gun

Calliopespa · 04/09/2025 18:43

RubySquid · 04/09/2025 18:18

Think you need to travel more and be a bit more open minded lol.

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I've travelled lots. Clearly I need to sign up for a few toilet tours.

BananaPeels · 04/09/2025 18:41

brunettemic · 04/09/2025 18:35

He needs to rub his arse over your vagina, a lot of people don’t know that’s actually how you do it. Ideally in a clockwise motion. What’s perceived as “normal PIV” is actually a myth peddled by mainstream media to prevent the masses from the true enjoyment of sex.

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I feel like I have lost my innocence today…

Willyoujust · 04/09/2025 18:41

I wouldn’t have sex with my husband if he’d just done a poo unless he had a shower afterwards.

Didntask · 04/09/2025 18:39

InveterateWineDrinker · 04/09/2025 16:19

Either he shits and you hold back on the rimming, or he doesn't and you hold back on the pegging.

🤣😭💀

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/09/2025 18:39

Bring back the penis beaker

or now a bum beaker

😂😂😂😂

blondebombsite13 · 04/09/2025 18:37

Ihavetoask · 04/09/2025 17:43

Not comparable. It would be comparable to doing anal with totally uncontrollable diarrhoea

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Omg 😂 😂

TakeMeDancing · 04/09/2025 18:36

Shewasafaireh · 04/09/2025 18:17

I don’t have any pets (and when I did they weren’t allowed on the sofa or beds anyways) but I do know a family that wipes their dog’s paws and bum when they get back inside after a walk.

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With what? And how did they dispose of it? Was it immediately incinerated?

brunettemic · 04/09/2025 18:35

Instinct1 · 04/09/2025 15:56

How? I think I'm doing sex wrong!

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He needs to rub his arse over your vagina, a lot of people don’t know that’s actually how you do it. Ideally in a clockwise motion. What’s perceived as “normal PIV” is actually a myth peddled by mainstream media to prevent the masses from the true enjoyment of sex.

Calliopespa · 04/09/2025 18:32

RubySquid · 04/09/2025 18:16

But the power is controllable and you just stop pressing the lever to stop water flow. Am at work with all my Muslim colleagues and they are in stitches on the thought of someone managing to spray their eyes

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Well we don't know anyone has, but it looks a distinct risk to me. I'm not about to consider any kind of power-washing of my bottom.

InveterateWineDrinker · 04/09/2025 18:29

I presume OP that you two aren't into tarmacing then?

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