Page 13 | To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

Justinegh · 2025-09-04T14:34:41+00:00

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed. DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day. He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting. Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 04/09/2025 20:32

Instinct1 · 04/09/2025 15:56

How? I think I'm doing sex wrong!

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I too am keen to find out what I’m missing here

Plastictreees · 04/09/2025 20:32

How is it ‘gay’ to clean your bum hole?!

Cannot cope with this thread

Delphiniumandlupins · 04/09/2025 20:32

I have never felt that I have to shower after I poo, nor do I expect it of intimate partners. Is it a problem for you because he's coming directly to bed? Would you be OK if his bowel movement was mid-afternoon but he didn't shower between then and sex?

VivaForever81 · 04/09/2025 20:30

I guess if you need to go you need to go but I find it grim that you know he is having a poo, I wouldn’t have a clue what time of the day my husband poos, how did it come up in conversation, can you hear him or worse smell him?!? If so that’s gross, your to involved in his pooing habits.

seanconneryseyebrow · 04/09/2025 20:30

GenerateNewUsername · 04/09/2025 20:24

Ok, this is one of those things that once you see, you can never unsee, or more accurately, once you notice, you can never unnotice!

The wall between the vagina and rectum is actually quite thin (or maybe just me post kids!). So if you have poo in your rectum waiting to come out, you can literally feel it with your fingers against your vagina wall-like every bump of poo…. If you are very backed up, it’s extremely noticeable during foreplay…

I am super conscious of this as my DH is a doctor.

But I’ve just asked him is it’s a known thing for men and he paused and said in his younger years friends have been known to pass comment on this but he doesn’t think it’s a ‘thing’ that men will specifically notice. He just happened to as he has a medial background. And now he’s apologising for the millionth time for ever mentioning it 😂

Yeh this is bollox. Sorry. Most men are just thrilled to be balls deep. They are never thinking about if you are backed up fgs. Your dh had done a right number on you here!

Merseymum1980 · 04/09/2025 20:29

Maybe he is excited for the sex.
When I get excited for something (unfortunately not for sex now) ir makes me want to poo too.
Id probably try keep it secret and shower before the sex though

Blomama · 04/09/2025 20:28

Woompund · 04/09/2025 16:39

Having a quick shower before sex isn't 'a lot of work' and it makes everything a lot nicer for everyone. Do you have sex in the evening after not showering since the morning?!

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Yes! Millions/Billions of people around the word have sex at night having not washed since the morning. Some people don't even have running water and still have manage to have regular sex. I can't imagine hopping out of bed to quickly have a shower after remembering that I had a poo at 10am but showered at 7am.

notthepootroll2 · 04/09/2025 20:28

NC for this obviously but if you’re giving oral then yeah…
I was on the bed with (ex!) partner standing up for oral, and so because of the position my nose was pretty close to his arse, and I realise he has been for a shit recently and well. I could smell it
also men that don’t wash/rinse after the toilet and end up with drops of wee - I have also encountered someone smelling of wee and expecting oral

plus the ridiculous thing some men have about not washing their arsehole as “it’s gay”

Lanzarotelady · 04/09/2025 20:27

I am surprised most of you manage to have a sex life if I am honest.

BananaPeels · 04/09/2025 20:25

Lanzarotelady · 04/09/2025 20:20

Me three - DS 17 has asked what I am laughing at!! I cannot tell him

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Yeah me too. Definitely almost spat out my tea!

GenerateNewUsername · 04/09/2025 20:24

Ok, this is one of those things that once you see, you can never unsee, or more accurately, once you notice, you can never unnotice!

The wall between the vagina and rectum is actually quite thin (or maybe just me post kids!). So if you have poo in your rectum waiting to come out, you can literally feel it with your fingers against your vagina wall-like every bump of poo…. If you are very backed up, it’s extremely noticeable during foreplay…

I am super conscious of this as my DH is a doctor.

But I’ve just asked him is it’s a known thing for men and he paused and said in his younger years friends have been known to pass comment on this but he doesn’t think it’s a ‘thing’ that men will specifically notice. He just happened to as he has a medial background. And now he’s apologising for the millionth time for ever mentioning it 😂

seanconneryseyebrow · 04/09/2025 20:24

lanzarotelady they just keep coming don’t they. I feel like I’m in a weird comedy sketch 🤣

Zanatdy · 04/09/2025 20:23

How bizarre so many people think he should be showering after a shit before sex. Is everyone really having a shower immediately before sex? I find that hard to believe to be honest.

Parkerpenny · 04/09/2025 20:22

I'm on the side of showering before the deed. Both partners. Who wants smelly wee/poo bums/bits/fingers anywhere near them?

seanconneryseyebrow · 04/09/2025 20:22

Dontsayyouloveme · 04/09/2025 20:10

I think the issue is due to the recency and near proximity of the faecal matter to the bum hole thats the real issue.. I know when my cat’s had a recent poo 💩 when she walks across my desk.. it’s pretty obvious… smell 👃🏼 however, when there’s been no recent evacuation.. there is no aroma! Plus, as said earlier, men do have hairy holes that… gather ‘matter’ .

that’s my reasoning for a post poo shower!

You can’t be seriously comparing your DH to your cat??? Pls pls say you are cos that’s just absolute gold. 😆

Lanzarotelady · 04/09/2025 20:21

This is bloody brilliant!

Lanzarotelady · 04/09/2025 20:20

Clarabell77 · 04/09/2025 20:01

Me too! 🤣🤣

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Me three - DS 17 has asked what I am laughing at!! I cannot tell him

seanconneryseyebrow · 04/09/2025 20:20

This is the most unintentionally hilarious thread ever! I’m gripped. The zingers just keep coming

Waterbaby41 · 04/09/2025 20:19

Noshadelamp · 04/09/2025 15:54

He can't help needing the loo but he needs to shower afterwards, otherwise you are at a higher risk of a water infection.

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🤣🤣🤣

Waterbaby41 · 04/09/2025 20:19

Noshadelamp · 04/09/2025 15:54

He can't help needing the loo but he needs to shower afterwards, otherwise you are at a higher risk of a water infection.

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🤣🤣🤣

Calliopespa · 04/09/2025 20:15

GenerateNewUsername · 04/09/2025 20:03

I always try and have a poo before sex. My DH is a doctor and made a poorly thought out comment early on in our relationship that I was clearly a bit constipated.

I now always make sure (as best I can!) that my bowels are empty pre sex just in case he notices as I was so embarrassed.

Oh that's awful!

(But if you don't mind me asking how could he tell?)

RubySquid · 04/09/2025 20:15

LBFseBrom · 04/09/2025 20:04

I don't see how it is unhygienic as long as he keeps himself clean. Having sex with a full bladder is uncomfortable.

You don't poo from your bladder

Kreepture · 04/09/2025 20:11

i stg, i didn't go looking for this.. it found me...

To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/09/2025 20:10

nomas · 04/09/2025 15:57

He should shower. I’m guessing he doesn’t use a bidet shower or bum gun?

Give him some wet wipes!

Dontsayyouloveme · 04/09/2025 20:10

I think the issue is due to the recency and near proximity of the faecal matter to the bum hole thats the real issue.. I know when my cat’s had a recent poo 💩 when she walks across my desk.. it’s pretty obvious… smell 👃🏼 however, when there’s been no recent evacuation.. there is no aroma! Plus, as said earlier, men do have hairy holes that… gather ‘matter’ .

that’s my reasoning for a post poo shower!