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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

641 replies

Justinegh · 04/09/2025 15:34

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

OP posts:
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MumWifeOther · 04/09/2025 22:57

Iceplanet · 04/09/2025 22:10

🤢 .... pray tell ....what happened next

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I had a friend who once put her finger up her bfs bum hole and it came out with poo on it. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Frenchtoastie · 04/09/2025 22:57

LaughingCat · 04/09/2025 16:10

I’d always want to go to the loo before sex if possible - nothing worse than trying to relax and enjoy myself when I’m worried about smelly farts or intestinal pressure down there (or a growing urge to pee). I probably wouldn’t fully shower but deffo a quick wash at the sink to make sure I didn’t whiff afterwards.

He’s making sure that sex isn’t either interrupted or that he releases a stink bomb. That seems rather lovely of him really.

You wash your bum at the sink?😬

PeachySmile2 · 04/09/2025 22:56

I don’t like the thought of no1 or no2 just before bed if we are planning to be intimate. I’d be worried about lingering smells and asking him to shower before he comes to bed. However when we were TTC I was so desperate to get pregnant, I’d have sucked up it and not said anything to avoid any rows and gotten it over with quickly.

Rosesanddaffs · 04/09/2025 22:55

Calliopespa · 04/09/2025 21:22

Yes it's getting a bit much for me too. Some of the more ... um ... descriptive posts have actually given me a nauseous stomach.

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Sorry 😂🤣 only way I could describe it

MumWifeOther · 04/09/2025 22:55

FeliciaFancybottom · 04/09/2025 17:26

I hope everyone's burning the sex towel and sheets afterwards.

A bit of c*m is not the same as toilet water splash and shit, the three are the not the same!

Imbusytodaysorry · 04/09/2025 22:54

@Justinegh toilet, shower then bed
Jeeze if he can’t make the effort now what’s he going to be like later on .

Beautifulhaiku · 04/09/2025 22:54

Slightyamusedandsilly · 04/09/2025 22:45

I would have said I'm not overly fussy, but having had a couple of partners who were even less so, I've become a lot pickier. There's nothing like body odour to bring on the ick while in bed.

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I would definitely have a word if there were noticeable odour issues, but it seems mad to tell someone when they can or can’t poo, especially if they’ve told you it helps them feel less bloated during sex. I would rather they were relaxed and not in pain.

Shellyash · 04/09/2025 22:52

I've just gone celibate

Blueuggboots · 04/09/2025 22:52

Higher risk of a water infection if he doesn’t shower after having a poo?? Ffs, I’ve heard it all now….

TruthOutWeighsLies · 04/09/2025 22:51

Wait till after or go earlier in the day?
He needs a poo!
Christ.
You can not dictate when he goes for a (no.2) 🤣

ChaliceinWonderland · 04/09/2025 22:51

Oh god the cat is wobbling on the bed I am laughing so much!
Rumpy puumpy! Bum gun !

In all seriousness, just delay the sex till the morning.

There can only be amazing sex if you are really wanting it...

Forevergardening · 04/09/2025 22:47

Presuming hands are washed and area freshened up, it wouldn't put me off seggs, I wouldn't be having a go on the meat flute though, too close proximity post sh!t 🤣

Icanttakethisanymore · 04/09/2025 22:45

Newsenmum · 04/09/2025 19:08

I mean it’s definitely a bit of a turn off. Can he not do it earlier in the day?

Can you poo on demand… in advance???

Slightyamusedandsilly · 04/09/2025 22:45

Beautifulhaiku · 04/09/2025 22:44

Yes, I reckon there’s probably a fair amount of crossover. Personally I don’t find scrupulous cleanliness very sexy. I understand we’re all different though.

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I would have said I'm not overly fussy, but having had a couple of partners who were even less so, I've become a lot pickier. There's nothing like body odour to bring on the ick while in bed.

kkLeeNex · 04/09/2025 22:45

Iceplanet · 04/09/2025 22:23

Lace his lunch the previous day with potent laxatives. This way - you control the poo narrative. He should be empty well before your appointment 😉

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🤣

Icanttakethisanymore · 04/09/2025 22:44

BeRoseSloth · 04/09/2025 16:17

I’m pretty sure that means your own poo and own urinary tract and is why we’re advised to wipe from front to back.

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Not sure why this made me laugh so much 😂

Beautifulhaiku · 04/09/2025 22:44

Slightyamusedandsilly · 04/09/2025 22:40

Those who wouldn't be put off sex with someone after a poo.

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Yes, I reckon there’s probably a fair amount of crossover. Personally I don’t find scrupulous cleanliness very sexy. I understand we’re all different though.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 04/09/2025 22:40

Beautifulhaiku · 04/09/2025 22:23

You do know people do this regularly as well…?

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Those who wouldn't be put off sex with someone after a poo.

Beautifulhaiku · 04/09/2025 22:39

JillyGiraffe · 04/09/2025 22:24

Not wash..?

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Have sex while on their period without having a shower first.

Solost92 · 04/09/2025 22:37

Iceplanet · 04/09/2025 22:23

Lace his lunch the previous day with potent laxatives. This way - you control the poo narrative. He should be empty well before your appointment 😉

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Nah flip it, immodium, plug him up. He csn deal with the consequences later, he'll appreciate your forethought.

Icanttakethisanymore · 04/09/2025 22:36

Justinegh · 04/09/2025 15:46

Sorry, yes I meant he is using the loo (no.2) and openly says he is making sure he isn’t bloated. He doesn’t shower after, no.

You’d rather he tried to have sex whilst needing a shit??

Solost92 · 04/09/2025 22:33

If he's using the ensuit and stinking up the bedroom or not cleaning properly and smelling of poo then YANBU. Otherwise YABU. I always go to the toilet before sex and wash after. I don't like feeling like i need the toilet while having sex. But I also wouldn't be getting turned on while smelling shit.

Edited to add. I actually remembered I have diagnosed OCD after i wrote. and am a compulsive pee-er so don't take my "I always pee before sex" as a "I think everyone should pee before sex". I pee before and after i do anything pretty much.

Treeteas · 04/09/2025 22:33

Ablondiebutagoody · 04/09/2025 16:12

Brown to pink

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Not ideal if TTC 🤣

Let’s Face it, TTC is not very romantic anyway! More like an obsession.

KaitlynnFairchild · 04/09/2025 22:32

Iceplanet · 04/09/2025 22:10

🤢 .... pray tell ....what happened next

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I suddenly said I felt ill and had to stop. Never saw him again.

it hasn’t half made me cautious over cleanliness since!

Buzzy1234 · 04/09/2025 22:31

Some turds create a splash. And men’s dicks and balls dangle in the toilet while they shit. It can’t be helped i suppose but it’s not the image I’d want in my mind when I’m about to dtd.