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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Be absolutely honest, would you consider only fans/sex work if it guaranteed you’d be rich?

190 replies

Love13 · 04/09/2025 14:46

If you were being 100% honest hypothetically. Would you consider sex work/only fans/webcam work if you could guarantee you’d become rich.

Obviously completely hypothetical because in reality most of us probably wouldn’t be able to make much money, we’ve probably got children to consider, you might already be well off.

But if it was the difference between working in a job you hate until retirement, or doing sex work for 10 years and then being able to retire a millionaire, if it was safe and you only had yourself to please. Could you forget your morals and do it? Do you think you could live with it?

Yabu - no
Yanbu - you’d consider it.

If you would consider it, do you think you’re a highly sexualised person anyway, maybe multiple sexual partners, able to separate sex from emotions.

OP posts:
welcometotheblackparadee · 05/09/2025 11:58

Love13 · 05/09/2025 11:30

I think I must be wired wrong too because that’s how I feel.

Even though I absolutely agree with what other posters are saying about sex work being all kinds of wrong.

Show quote history

So glad it's not just me!

I understand their angle too and absolutely agree with a lot of it. However, I have woken up from many a night after and been utterly mortified, 98% of the time I've gotten over myself quickly and it's become a thing of the past and an amusing story by the same afternoon.

I've got a fairly relaxed attitude to sex when I'm single to be honest and on a personal level (for me and my life) hypothetically wouldn't mind being large amounts for something I do for free anyway.

Midnights68 · 05/09/2025 11:48

Love13 · 05/09/2025 11:41

Those of you who say it would be humiliating/traumatic, why humiliating and traumatic?

I get that people would find it gross, risky, awkward. But I don’t quite get the humiliating aspect.

Have you never had sex with men after nights out or dates because you were a bit horny or were wearing beer goggles only to think afterwards no way.

Have a think about how men who are paying for sex might behave. Why they pay. What they pay for. What their attitudes to women might be.

Original poster
Love13 · 05/09/2025 11:41

Those of you who say it would be humiliating/traumatic, why humiliating and traumatic?

I get that people would find it gross, risky, awkward. But I don’t quite get the humiliating aspect.

Have you never had sex with men after nights out or dates because you were a bit horny or were wearing beer goggles only to think afterwards no way.

OP posts:
CoffeeCantata · 05/09/2025 11:35

No. Only to save my children (now adult, but hypothetically speaking) from starvation or death or something.

Being rich wouldn't compensate me for the humiliation and having to have sex with the sort of men who pay women to pleasure them. It would be traumatic for me and I'd never be the same.

Original poster
Love13 · 05/09/2025 11:30

welcometotheblackparadee · 05/09/2025 11:26

Maybe I'm wired wrong because honestly, I'd fuck 30 men for £500k. That's life changing amounts of money for me. Over 15 grand for something I've done many a time after one too many drinks on a night out for free?!

I think I must be wired wrong too because that’s how I feel.

Even though I absolutely agree with what other posters are saying about sex work being all kinds of wrong.

OP posts:
welcometotheblackparadee · 05/09/2025 11:26

Maybe I'm wired wrong because honestly, I'd fuck 30 men for £500k. That's life changing amounts of money for me. Over 15 grand for something I've done many a time after one too many drinks on a night out for free?!

whenimnotcleaningwindows · 05/09/2025 11:17

Love13 · 05/09/2025 11:07

You most certainly it wouldn’t make a million quid from a few feet pics.

But would you shag say 30 men, if it earned you 500k? Would you do the feet pics and message the men, indulge them, if it earned you a few thousand?

Show quote history

You're really asking how desperate women are for a few thousand then.

We get paid less than men
We do more care work than men
We get killed by men
We get abused by men
Shall we sell our souls for them too? The last bit of respect we have for our bodies?
I know, a man has made a business model based on just that - how low will women go for £? ...bravo!

Original poster
Love13 · 05/09/2025 11:07

Midnights68 · 05/09/2025 10:52

I can only answer for myself, but I can tell you that for me it’s not actually really morals and values as such. It’s that I really think the reality of it - and the reality of what you’d actually have to do to get ‘rich’ - would be utterly traumatic. You wouldn’t get rich enough to retire early snapping a few anonymous pictures of your feet. A LOT of men are absolutely revolting, and loathe women, with serious suppressed violent, misogynistic tendencies - a quick look at an average mainstream porn streaming site will tell you that.

Bonnie Blue has got ‘rich’ from OnlyFans. Would I let 1000 men shag me in 12 hours (or whatever it was) to get rich? No. Definitely not. Yes, I would take an anonymous picture of my toes if that would get me a million quid. But it wouldn’t, would it?

Show quote history

You most certainly it wouldn’t make a million quid from a few feet pics.

But would you shag say 30 men, if it earned you 500k? Would you do the feet pics and message the men, indulge them, if it earned you a few thousand?

OP posts:
Midnights68 · 05/09/2025 10:52

Love13 · 05/09/2025 10:32

My pondering is also about what separates those of us who’d easily drop our values and morals for money and those who say absolutely not.

I can only answer for myself, but I can tell you that for me it’s not actually really morals and values as such. It’s that I really think the reality of it - and the reality of what you’d actually have to do to get ‘rich’ - would be utterly traumatic. You wouldn’t get rich enough to retire early snapping a few anonymous pictures of your feet. A LOT of men are absolutely revolting, and loathe women, with serious suppressed violent, misogynistic tendencies - a quick look at an average mainstream porn streaming site will tell you that.

Bonnie Blue has got ‘rich’ from OnlyFans. Would I let 1000 men shag me in 12 hours (or whatever it was) to get rich? No. Definitely not. Yes, I would take an anonymous picture of my toes if that would get me a million quid. But it wouldn’t, would it?

whenimnotcleaningwindows · 05/09/2025 10:42

Love13 · 05/09/2025 10:32

My pondering is also about what separates those of us who’d easily drop our values and morals for money and those who say absolutely not.

For me it all goes back to what has value in society. I think we've gone very far down the wrong path and should be valuing care and community over objectifying/marketing/sales. It's a very male based economy and it isn't working.

Original poster
Love13 · 05/09/2025 10:32

My pondering is also about what separates those of us who’d easily drop our values and morals for money and those who say absolutely not.

OP posts:
Original poster
Love13 · 05/09/2025 10:28

whenimnotcleaningwindows · 05/09/2025 10:13

If he's a tradie he will be earning much more than most. Make sure you're on his pension and you'll be fine.
Around here trades are now on £350-500ph!

Show quote history

He doesn’t earn that much and I’m not actually going to start doing porn so that my husband can retire 🤣

Its a purely hypothetical question, a bit like wwyd if you won the lottery or wwyd if you could have one wish granted.

If I could guarantee I’d make a few million quid then I would, but the chances of me making £10 a month are very small.

OP posts:
whenimnotcleaningwindows · 05/09/2025 10:13

Love13 · 04/09/2025 21:56

Those saying they’re not bothered about money. It isn’t just about being destitute.

Dh and I will probably have to work until we are at least 67. Dh and I are both in a really stressful jobs, dh job is putting all kinds of strain on his body (tradesman). Being rich isn’t all about having a lavish lifestyle. With being rich can come peace of mind.

Obviously this is all hypothetical because I doubt anyone is paying me 5p to see me naked, in fact I might have to pay them.

But I can see why it’s tempting for attractive young women.

If he's a tradie he will be earning much more than most. Make sure you're on his pension and you'll be fine.
Around here trades are now on £350-500ph!

NavyNorris · 05/09/2025 09:51

Yes but only if I could remain anonymous.
However I have distinguishing tattoos on parts of my body and also I highly doubt anyone would pay to see me naked these days!

Squirrelsnut · 05/09/2025 09:47

No. My peace of mind and dignity are priceless.

Tinytigertail · 05/09/2025 09:41

There are so many more things I value for myself over 'being rich' so for me, it would be a definite no. I think the word 'empowered' gets bandied about a lot in relation to SW as a way to justify something that makes most people feel the exact opposite. Having said that, I wouldn't judge another woman if that's the road she chooses to take

TheSoapyFrog · 05/09/2025 09:37

No, partly because Only Fans seems like a lot of effort tbh. I have a few friends who thought it would be an easy thing to make money from; rolling around the bed in lingerie and using sex toys on themselves. But there are so many women doing this, that they didn't get many views. You need to promote yourself, offer something a little different, spend money on sex toys, underwear, costumes etc.. Need to have lighting equipment as well. Then you have to regularly spend a significant amount of your time actually doing it. What if you're not in the mood?

Also, I'm not a very sexual person, so sex work of any sort really isnt for me. The best I'd offer is turning up, lifting up my dress, plonking myself down on the bed and telling them to "get on with it" while I scroll through my phone or something.

UsernameMcUsername · 05/09/2025 09:06

Love13 · 04/09/2025 21:43

I actually can’t imagine.

I try to imagine but I can’t think of anyone I know, but the truth is most of them are probably just ordinary men. Most men aren’t going to advertise it to their wives, girlfriends and children are they?

Show quote history

I don't mean that they're all seven-eyed hunchbacks, more that they're just scummy as people. I'm sure plenty of them have fairly normal lives, jobs etc in many ways.

Chiseltip · 05/09/2025 07:39

Love13 · 04/09/2025 14:46

If you were being 100% honest hypothetically. Would you consider sex work/only fans/webcam work if you could guarantee you’d become rich.

Obviously completely hypothetical because in reality most of us probably wouldn’t be able to make much money, we’ve probably got children to consider, you might already be well off.

But if it was the difference between working in a job you hate until retirement, or doing sex work for 10 years and then being able to retire a millionaire, if it was safe and you only had yourself to please. Could you forget your morals and do it? Do you think you could live with it?

Yabu - no
Yanbu - you’d consider it.

If you would consider it, do you think you’re a highly sexualised person anyway, maybe multiple sexual partners, able to separate sex from emotions.

Well, every woman who has married for money is doing exactly that, even if they won't admit it . . .

Gettingbysomehow · 05/09/2025 07:04

Absolutely not it goes against all of my feminist principles.
Im not sure that .any people would be into GILF anyway.

PermanentTemporary · 05/09/2025 07:01

@CanadianJohn why would I support a story that is part of the OF pyramid scheme marketing, by clicking on it?

PermanentTemporary · 05/09/2025 06:59

I think those of us who are saggy, old and unattractive underestimate the number of men who actively enjoy humiliating women. There would be a market for us. It’s a market of men wanking while calling us disgusting old skanks and asking us to do increasingly degrading things to ourselves. Though tbh the same is true for the young and attractive. Hope nobody deluded themselves that ‘sex work’ involves people being nice and having fun.

Blondiney · 05/09/2025 00:23

No and I’m absolutely sick of the way it’s portrayed as a legitimate career choice.

workingcocker · 04/09/2025 23:06

If I could stay anonymous…… I would