How much would you expect to spend weekly if your DH earned this?

What on earth is the point of OP giving up her job then if she can’t enjoy the huge income that her husband earns?? What else are they spending it on? It’s joint income and in my opinion if you’ve got it you should be able to enjoy it.

So I Think the two of you need to sit down and talk about it.

you’ll get a lot in here who think that whatever they would do is the absolute best and anyone who deviates by a penny is an atrocious human being 🙄😂

Do you know how much disposable income you guys have? So how much after the mortgage, the bills, food etc are all paid off you have left over? Once you have that then I would sit down with him and have a conversation about how you want to spend/save this money. There arguments for every different way on this but at the end of the day it’s down to the two of you together to work out a split.

Maybe after bills etc there isn’t much left (yes you have a high income but maybe you have a huge mortgage etc) and he’s feeling the squeeze. Or maybe he thinks he wants to save more or have more available for the two of you, or bigger things like holidays or private schools etc? Or maybe things just cost a lot of money and he doesn’t realise? The only way to really know about this is to sit down with one’s and paper when the kiddies asleep and go through it all. Good luck!

Depends where the OP lives. If it’s London, you can burn through £20 just by breathing outside, that’s £100 a week gone before you’ve even done anything. It’s all relative, and as a slice of salary it’s hardly outrageous. Why the martyr act, competing for gold in the tight arse olympics? Money’s for living, not for stockpiling like a miser.

Please could I ask what jobs you do?

🤣 I won’t deny my cynicism, particularly when talking about £170K!

Omg seriously, its not unheard of in London. Lawyers, accountants, tech, will all be on this sort of money.

DH is on 200k, my FTE is £150k but I'm part time.

Landed on your feet there haven't you OP.

Op, if he earns 170k amd contributes a fairly typical 8% to pension, he is only getting £100k after tax/NI and pension.

You are pissing away more than 10% of it.

*This website seems to attract some of the highest earners in the country!....allegedly!
Yes, allegedly. I do wonder..,
I meant to put on a laughing emoji. I sensed your cynicism!

He has to earn about 25k a year pre tax just to fund your nails, trips to the zoo etc.

Its way too much! Take the children to the library, the public pool, the park & the church hall toddler group. You could spend a quarter of what you are spending and have a lovely time.

Yes, allegedly. I do wonder..,,

Op, you’re clearly bored. Dont take that the wrong way. You also sound like you are a stubborn soul…. Maybe do what I did once when I knew I was spending loads, but did because I could. Challenge yourself to spend as little as possible in a week… just for your own entertainment. Then do it again. I promise you it will become your mission to spend less than before and so on. Then have days or weeks where you spend what you want. Write down how you feel about each week. Then compare. I was once on a mission to spend like, £10 one week…. I think I ended up spending £11 and had a ball!! My LO had a new outfit from the charity shop, we fed the ducks with reduced sandwich’s and cakes for a picnic. We found rocks and painted them, then popped them in our local fairy garden for others to find. I swapped all my read books for ones I hadn’t read at our local book swap. Went to the tip with loads of crap, came back with a new storage unit (kallax, nobody says no to free kallax!!)
Just decide to do it one week and see how much you can do with nothing, might just open your eyes!!

This website seems to attract some of the highest earners in the country!....allegedly!

This website seems to attract some of the highest earners in the country!

I don't think £250 a week (presumably until you go back to work when the kids go to school?) is too much when he's a high earner. We are currently a 42k (after tax) household in the North and we can easily spend £150/200 per week on family/personal enjoyment.

Even getting the train into town with the kids, getting lunch, then an activity, then snacks/drinks or little treats or whatever easily adds up to £50+. Everything is expensive.

Enjoy this short time with your babies by not worrying about scrimping about local church groups and the library. How dull.

You should also enjoy looking and feeling good about yourself. Good for you for prioritising yourself, too!

Other (much richer, apparently) people might not want to 'fritter' 1k a month on enjoying their lives, and would rather save for some future goal. That's great, but as another poster said, that future isn't promised.

Just tell him when you go back to work you'll top the savings back up 🤷🏻‍♀️

Out of interest, how do you spend that much? I spend about £150 (hair colour every 5 weeks, brows and lashes every 6 weeks or so and nails monthly ish) so I’m not coming from a place of judgement, just curious!

We only really see him at weekends and part of me feels he should have no say in what we do to get through the week!!

like others I really hate this statement. He’s earning all the money! Yes you’re looking after his child which counts for something and is enabling his career - but it would be cheaper for the child to be in nursery than the current set up of losing your £80k income while you spend £250 a week of money he’s earning for the family as well. I don’t think it’s fair to say he should have “no say” and makes me pretty uncomfortable.

I personally don’t think that’s too much, I probably spend approx £500 a month on beauty treatments. I don’t class this as fun money either.

Bur being a SAHM and having the quality of life you want whilst at home only works whilst both partners are in agreement. I’d be going back to work.

That seems an enormous amount of money to spend when most entertainment for a toddler/small child can be free/very cheap e.g. visit the park, picnic, go to the library, join a toddler group, go swimming (not free, but not exhorbitant and you could buy a set of toddler swimming lessons). That's more than a 1k a month you are spending on trivia - 12k a year (some people's income btw). Not surprised your DH thinks you should cut down. Good income, yes, but wasting money is foolish - you may need that money one day.

He probably feels he contributes quite enough without paying out for your spendthrift ways.

Good God, so many dour, mirthless posters on here. Surely one of the joys of money is that it can buy you frivolous stuff that makes you happy? Not every purchase has to be morally edifying or ethically valid FFS.

My husband makes around half of that - 80k - and I am currently a student. My ‘fun money’ is £300 a month or 75 a week. So on your husband’s salary perhaps £600 a month or £150 a week would be more normal.

£1200 on fun money is a shit tonne of cash OP. I’m not surprised if he’d rather save more. If you disagree it may be time for a bigger discussion around savings, when you’re going back to work etc.

Our income slighyly exceeds the OP's household income, we manage to enjoy some "frivolous" luxuries every month alongside saving for the future. If hair and nails once in a while make the OP happy, why should her hubby deny her this? It's not like he isn't in the top 1% earners in the UK! Or should motherhood be a soul destroying period of martyrdom where fun days out and beauty treatments should be forfeited? I would understand more if the OP's partner was supporting the family on a 30k per year salary but come on!

Another money thread that is absolutely staggering and out of touch with everyone I know in real life.
I don’t know a single person who earns £170k and here every other person does!

Yes but op would be working then and saving towards a pension etc too

I could totally understand op expecting her husband to invest a decent chunk in a pension for her each month, but frittering it away when they are solely dependent on his income seems very short sighted.