How much would you expect to spend weekly if your DH earned this?

I spend £20 a week. So yes, YABU.

You’re a family and need a family budget. Both of you need to be accountable to each other.

And one would hope he's also paying into a pension. For the op

If he's putting 10% into pension his net salary on £170,000 as a sole earner is about £7,600. Thats assuming he doesn't have things like healthcare, company car, student loan etc taken from his salary. In all likelihood he does have these things subtracted and so it's a lot less.

£250 is a crazy amount to fritter away no matter what someone earns.

That's £1000 per month with nothing to show for it. That's shameful!

You need to look at the overall population of the country. In 2024 357000 people earned over £150k in the uk

Quite - plus if I was the sole earner I would want to be putting a decent amount away in savings and investments, and paying for decent critical illness cover and health insurance. And hopefully he is also saving into a pension for @Righan

Ah thanks. I did think it sounded quite a lot like that other one from what I remember.

I don’t think 170k pretax income is a lot to be honest. When you take away tax and pension, and some insurance premiums then the take home pay is hugely reduced. Do you know what’s the take home pay per month?

I know lots of people that do earn that amount and above. I guess it depends on your career choices?

our joint income is way above that even excluding bonuses.

I was sad to read your post. I feel that this is not really about the money at the end of the day. You were earning a decent wage and were used to having your own fun money, for want of a better word. You must miss that freedom on some level. Now your DH is still living the same life he always had, on his terms, while you have had to make all of the changes and adjustments. He hasn't a clue how exhausting it is, physically and mentally, to care for one's young child. It is relentless. He sees the money being spent and thinks you are living it up while he is earning it. The truth is, you are both working very hard, and he needs to see and understand that. Have a conversation with him about the lives you are living now versus the lives you thought you would be living. See if you can meet somewhere in the middle so that both of your needs are being met. Best of luck and update us xx

So odd that the % of people earning this in the UK is really small but half the people on this thread claim to earn more.

you’re all fantasists

Of people i personally know who make over 100k

• anyone Working at Private banks
• anyone working at JP Morgan
• anyone at Blackrock
• Lawyers everywhere / anywhere (magic circle and inhouse)
• Most roles in cyber security
• Doctors (consultants touch 100k so do GPs if thry do locum)
• everyone with a ComSci or SwEng degree i know
• any senior ish person (ie 10 years plus) experience in any type of multinational media or marketing agency or in house at a brand (snr roles only)
• anyone in any office based sales role in media or tech sector.
• anyone in tech (non tech ic4s make 100k with bonus)
• commercial property management
• Senior Civil Service
• two front of house maître Ds (includes the tronc)
• Car salesman
• a Hairdresser!!!

God grief if you can only have fun spending 250 a month you have limited imagination

I think its fine given the income you have. Ive no idea how much someone on £170K takes home a month but it must be around £9-£10k. I would be out of control if my DH earnt that and I had free reign of the account😆

Yes OP, God forbid you should have any "fun" - why aren't you eating gruel and saving 99% of your earnings??

Enjoy yourselves, you can't take it with you!

Is that £250 a week, week in and week out? Every week? You buy food on top of this - don’t you ever consider making a packed lunch and cutting back a bit?
How many children is this for and what are their ages?
Do you have other help in the home, like a cleaner / does your partner do housework / life admin or does it fall on you?
How do you have time for nails and haircuts - who is looking after your child(ren) during this time?
Would you not rather have a good portion of that money saved, put in your pension or to build up some “savings” for yourself?

All genuine questions OP. I really cannot see how it is necessary to always be spending on activities or taking the kids out so often - do you have downtime at home? It’s a lot of spending but what was the agreement before you left your job? For example, did you have joint finances before children so partner had a clear view of your spending and saving style? It’s not news to him is it?

There are an awful lot of high earners, They also tend to have jobs where they can sit in front of a laptop and pop onto MN when they are bored so will probably be disproportionately represented on here.

Do you like being a SAHM? You e given up a career and your own money and now you're being asked to justify your spending to 'het through the week'. Be honest about how you feel and if it's what you really want to do or feel you should do. Plenty of options to go back to work or work part time etc

I went back and found it and think it was a different OP. She was on a career break and was moaning about only having £150 a week. She was flamed.

I have my suspicions it's the same OP under a name change who has altered a few facts since they are such similar stories.

Or the country's biggest fantasists.

250 a week for non essentials???
Yabvvvvvu

I read a thread very similar to this just a couple weeks ago. Something about £15 for soft play. Is it the same OP?

Actually he brings home £101k before any sort of pension deduction at all. Tax and NI is massive at that salary level.

I suspect those expressing cynicism at the £170k wouldn't be quite as shocked about a two earner family both earning £65k. They would have the same net income as one person earning £170k because of the way the tax rate increases.

go back to work and spend your own money