How much would you expect to spend weekly if your DH earned this?

Does the £250 include the food shop for the week? If so no I don’t think you’re spending too much.

I agree with husband that amount is crazy. I spend maybe 30 to 40 maximum a week or less

£2000 a month! (£250 per week)

He's probably thinking about building up savings so he doesn't have to stay in that job forever. You're acting like there is no future to think about.

Bloody hell hadn't realised that. That's not much more than our combined household income, and we budget £150 a month for me and DH each to spend on fun/hobbies/nails etc if I wanted them and then a further £150 for family spends on days or meals out (we have 3 DC, I work 4 days/week) so £450 total. I budget another £50 a month for haircuts (£30 for me which allows me to spend £60 every 2 months and £20 a month for DH). Granted I don't have the same amount of time to fill but I have 3 x as many kids as you, and your £1k doesn't even include your husband's discretionary spends, only yours. I think you should cut your spends in half.

My husband is on 6 figures too and I do my own nails and hair. I need to start spending more money!

Or two kids in FT nursery. It’s about £2.5k per month per child now

If you are comfortable money wise maybe his problem is deeper than that and he is not expressing himself.

Does he enjoys his job? Does he feels pressure to be the solo provider? Does he wishes to have more free time? (I personally find it a bit sad you only see each other on the weekends)

I voted Yabu because your dh is asking you to reign in how much you are spending and you basically think he should have no say.
Surely you should be agreeing together what the budget will be for personal spends, days out with dc, savings etc. It's joint money.

I think it depends on your other outgoings, how much of the £170K he actually takes home (tax, pension, student loan etc) and also what the £250 is going on. £250 a week sounds high but you've bundled lots of spending in together. If you broke it down into a budget for your clothes/hair/nails, a budget for gifts, a budget for DC activities, DC's clothes etc it probably won't seem so much. How much money does DH spend on himself per month? What are his priorities for spending/saving?

I think with a toddler especially if you are a SAHM, annual tickets for zoos etc work out pretty good value as days out can be so expensive. I loved just being able to have a "free" day out and popping in to a wildlife park type place for a couple of hours rather than making a whole day of outings to justify the cost.

Hi OP,

I’m a SAHM and get £1000 a month to cover me and the kids (3).

Last tax year I had £1.5k pm, but I chose to reduce it after reviewing our finances; if things pick up then I would increase my allowance again.

That's insane, you must have an eye watering mortgage!

Assuming he is putting money into his pension, it’s more like £90k after tax, so £7700 per month. Wasting £1k of that on getting your nails done is appalling.

Seems excessive to me. That's £12k per annum. Me and DH go on long haul holidays twice a year for less.

The thing is, £170k gets hit with SO much tax. He takes home £8500 a month. Our household income is £100k, which sounds a lot less, but actually it's only £1700 less.

Just try to be a bit more sensible.

What are your outgoings? How much is the mortgage? I think my opinion would differ if you had no mortgage, or £2.5k mortgage, for example.

My dh is on significantly more than this, I am also earning, and £250 a week is not doable for us in the slightest.
Between nursery, mortgage and outgoings we don’t even have 1k left, let alone putting money aside for savings or kids schooling

It doesn't matter what it's out of. I think the question should be 'how much would you expect to spend on hair, nails, soft play, etc?' It may be affordable but that doesn't mean that it isn't too much.

I've got to laugh at the posters who are tripping over themselves to let us all know that they earn considerably more!

Surely it depends more on what your outgoings are? I mean if I was suddenly earning that with my outgoings it would be reasonable but I'd probably get a better house and car so wouldn't have £1k a month spare for fun and treats.

Was going to say this.

Look at your spending for the last 3 months or so and break it down in to...

Maintaining YOU (hair, nails)
Trips out with baby (zoo, soft play etc)
Unessential things while (lunch, coffee, toys from gift shops)

Does DH have expectations about your appearance or do you feel the need to maintain your looks as you did on a higher income? If DH, then that's just a cost of maintaining you. I imagine this makes up quite a lot of your spending.

Trips out are a legitimate spend but I agree that you shouldn't doing this more then a couple of days a week. Let DC chill at home, feed the ducks at the local park, play in the garden, paint/draw etc etc.

The extra spends while out, well, they really add up and really aren't needed.

I do think that you seem to be just expecting to carry on as normal but perhaps DH is reacting to being on a considerably lower income but you aren't, while expecting him to pay for it all.

Is your DH working from home or in the office? If he's working from home and is needing quiet in the house then it's more than reasonable to be having lunches out all the time (unless he takes a long lunch himself and would be delighted to catch up with you both during that time).
Definitely have a chat with him and find the sweet spot for what's appropriate spending and all the things around that like time in the house, what your weekends look like etc.

That’s an obscene amount of money to spend on hair/nails/lunch etc per week. I assume your husbands salary is before tax? To fund your £13k per annum spent on treats he needs to earn £26k to cover it. I agree with your husband. My husband is a very high earner, I am part time, my husband never questions my spending but that’s because I am sensible with it.

No DC

right!

I’m just saying our income which is similar to the OPs wouldn’t fund her level of spending if we continue to pay into pensions and overpay mortgage at sensible rates.

It obviously depends how much you want to overpay the mortgage & save into pensions.

I think it's too much out of £170k for what you're spending it on, yes. We earn combined £180k combined, which will be much more take home per month as significantly less is taxed, and I still think that's way too much.

I wouldn't be so quick to label someone 'stingey'. A waste of money is a waste of money, so matter what your income.

£250s a lot if that doesn't include food, clothes, travel etc. 170k is a good income but after tax, NI, pension contributions he's probs left woth about 7k a month. What are your main bills such as mortgage etc? Holidays need saving for too

One dinner out is £50 ish, so maybe £100 max a month. Not a lot of clothes. No DC, but the dog has £100 of activity spend a month that we split between.

So down to £300. £30 for my nails, maybe £100 for coffees and lunches. And that leaves about £40 a week to buy things with. I don’t need many things…

And we have joint funds too - but not enough for me to double my fun spend every single month.

I’m just saying our income which is similar to the OPs wouldn’t fund her level of spending if we continue to pay into pensions and overpay mortgage at sensible rates.