How much would you expect to spend weekly if your DH earned this?

Couldn’t agree more, by the logic of that comment he shouldn’t be responsible for funding the week either.

So £50 a day? Or are you including going out as a family at the weekend too? Either way it is a lot, regardless of your family income. Maybe look at some cheaper/free days out, although summer is the best time for parks, beaches and picnics there's still museums, free groups in libraries etc.

Wow that's an awful lot. Just because it earns well doesn't mean you have to fritter away money

I think it is wonderful that you’re able to spend so much time making wonderful memories and having fun with your child! They’re only little once, remind your husband of this, they will soon be off to school and you will never get this time back! It’s precious and I can only wish I had more money to do more with my Daughter! You’re certainly not living beyond your means and I think your husband should be glad that your child is being able to experience so much fun and is out and about in the fresh air, enjoying time with their Mummy. Would he rather you were sat at home!? As for your hair and nails etc…why shouldn’t you be allowed to treat yourself!? You only get one life and nobody knows what is around the corner! Honestly, continue to enjoy it as much as you can!!

A salary of £170k gives you roughly £8500 a month take home (maybe less depend on pension contributions) Nursery would be roughly £2500 as you’d probably not be eligible for benefits so no. I’d push back, you’re spending roughly £1000 a month for activities for you and your son. It just seems a lot but it’s well within your budgets.

I'm surprised by these responses. On that salary, I think that's fine. Things add up and you have enough money for it. He's being stingy. You're not going to be at home with your kid forever, you can afford it, enjoy your time with your child, you can't get it back.

I dont see the problem?! If you can afford it and not struggling for money there’s nothing wrong with it!! All money is shared so you’re entitled to spend it if it’s within your means.

Your budgeting is not ideal.
We were going way over budget and we broke it doen further.
Kids activities that are sports clubs etc should be in one pot.
Hair, makeup, nails etc should be in another.
We earn about that and kids activites are around 150 a month like swimming and football clubs.
My personal hair and makeup, nails, etc is 100 a month. I would love to be groomed all the time but its really expensive.
Our family fun day budget is around 250 a month. Trampolining, farms etc. This flexes between summer its up and winter its down.
Coffee out and cafes, eg there is a cafe in our park and we have breakfast sometimes is about 100 a month.
So total fun budget is around 450 a month.

What does your husband spend on himself, day to day? Including anything like golf or other club membership, socialising etc

Yeah I was wondering what all these people who say they earn a lot more than that do??? Genuinely interested. I need a new career!!!

Obviously OPs family has a high income...

But if they aren't on the save page about savings and spending they will get problems.

If the DH is trying to overpay the mortgage, or plan holidays, or pay into pensions for both of them, or planning for education etc and the DW is spending m ore than budgeted on lunches and hair appointments, they won't be happy.

Thats why they need a plan.

Do you need nails and hair done EVERY week? Who looks after baby while you are having them done, do u have to pay a childminder? It’s an obscene waste in my opinion!

DH earns similar and I work too but I’m on mat leave atm.

We budget £500 per week for anything that isn’t a bill/food shopping (things like eating out, entrance fees, clothes, hobbies, toys etc).

We never actually get through that. Each week we top that account back up to £500 - bills are paid, and everything else is saved.

£15+ £20+£15+£5 = £55. So you'd have to be doing all those 4 times a week to be spending £220, which leaves £120 for a hair cut once a month.

That does sound pretty excessive to me.

Is his take home pay £170, if not, then it’s not a huge amount considering it’s the only household income

If I had it, I’d spend it. Don’t think you need to rein it in per se, but you are a couple and your finances are joint now so if you DH isn’t comfortable with you spending so much then I’d probably get a job so I have my own money and he doesn’t get a say. At the moment I’d say he has every right to want you to rein it in

Does Dh have form for treating himself?

What people are missing is that you yourself had a high paying job and you were used to spending what you wanted. Which is reasonable at that point.

Is you not working a long term thing or only while your child is not in school . I think that matters.

If it’s forever, then I recommend you rein it in. If you’re spending every penny, using credit etc - rein it in.

If it’s not, then you need to have a conversation about what would be reasonable so you aren’t causing issues in your marriage.

As a sahm it sounds like loads to me. I reckon I spend about £50 pw on the things you mention. It's quite easy. I definitely think you could spend less with very little effort. Packed lunch picnics etc. Young kids don't need loads of expensive stuff to enjoy themselves.

My DH has been overseas nearly consistently for ten years. It is incredibly lonely with small children and your DH/DP working or being away. I manage(d) not to spend £250 a week though.

OP is spending frivolously and, honestly, her initial post came across as spiteful. 'He's not here, so he no say in how I spend his money to pass my time.' It's family money. Not hers to piss away - particularly if he's not happy with it.

We have a similar household income. I know that I wouldn’t be spending that much. Our mortgage is massive though.
i don’t believe in being tight necessarily but I do like to feel I’ve spent on purpose. Can you account for all the £££ and was it worth it?

Unless you have a particular shared savings goal for something in your future together, yeah I think it's stingy.

It's a fair bit to spend but your looking after his child and seems stingy to me that he doesn't want to invite you into the lifestyle his income can afford (which your income could also afford before you stopped working to look after the child, 80k is above average!).

Does he just want to enjoy the luxuries or the financial freedoms but not you? That's what I find stingy, you are supposed to share a life together. Why doesn't he want for you what he expects for himself? Unless he's also stingy towards himself, and living on basics then I might be less annoyed by it.

Depends what your financial goals are. Dh and I wanted to retire early so saved more to achieve that objective and retired at 53.

Just because you can afford something doesn’t mean he wants to spend it.

Is this the coffees, lunches out & constant activities?

If not, very similar to a recent thread.