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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU for being frustrated with these parents

186 replies

Tickyandtackyandjackiethebackie · 04/09/2025 12:58

DD has just started at secondary school and one of her good friends Ella from primary has started at a different school, which is walking distance to her house.
Dd's friend missed a huge amount of school after covid for various reasons to the point where her attendance in year 6 was less than 50%.
Ella has frequently admitted to DD and others she has told her parents she is ill/tired/anxious so she doesn't have to go to school. DD and her other friends have been quite shocked by this and I think one of her parents haven't challenged her as they wfh so don't have childcare issues.
Ella was supposed to start her new school yesterday but didn't go as she was 'tired'. She appeared to be perfectly find when video calling DD at 8pm last night! I feel really sad that this girl is missing out on an important transition and missing the opportunity to make new friends and have a fresh start. I imagine the school attendance officer will be on her case soon enough though.
So, am I being unreasonable to be annoyed with Ella's parents for essentially not parenting! I think I will find it difficult not to say something when our paths next cross.

OP posts:
SaladAndChipsForTea · 04/09/2025 13:10

And genuinely for all you know, Ella might be being abused at home and kept off school and lying to her friends.

You really have no idea.

SaladAndChipsForTea · 04/09/2025 13:09

Yabu to judge them on their parenting if you yourself aren't reporting any safeguarding concerns.

if its not a safeguarding concern, its not your business.

ChangeNamesAtLeastOnceAWeek · 04/09/2025 13:09

So, am I being unreasonable to be annoyed with Ella's parents for essentially not parenting! I think I will find it difficult not to say something when our paths next cross

Really? Wow. Who do you think you are 🤣🤣🤣.... maybe the child said that to your DD to look cool 🤦‍♀️

My DD has a lot of time off due to her disabilities. Off face value she doesn't look disabled snd I don't go around telling everyone she has a disability.

If you approached me I'd embarres the fuck out of you. Keep your nose out you busy body you don't care about Ella's education you just want to feel better than

jsku · 04/09/2025 13:06

OP - don’t judge other parents without knowing anything about them or their family.
And certainly don’t say anything to them - it has nothing to do with you.

Kids refusing school is an issue, and is often complex. I am sure the parents know that their daughter has issues. And you have no idea what they are doing about it.

I have a friends whose daughter struggled with various MH issues throughout several years of school attendance - needed a lot of help and it took years and a lot of support to get her to school and through exams.

WonsWoo · 04/09/2025 13:05

I've been the parent of an Ella and it is likely much more complex than you realise. It is an extremely stressful and precarious position to be in as a parent and having some other Mother suggesting I was a shit parent may well have tipped me over the edge. I certainly wasn't just not bothering to parent.

And to reassure you, despite the school issues and, get ready to clutch your pearls, leaving school with no GCSEs, my DS is now a very happy, confident and thriving 22 year old with a good job and living in a nice flat with his partner. I know education is extremely important but unfortunately, the school system just doesn't work for some kids but that doesn't mean they are doomed.

CinnamonBuns67 · 04/09/2025 13:04

Yabu. This isn't anything to do with you and doesn't affect your or your daughters life. It'll be them and their daughter that will have to reap the consequences. You also have no idea what barriers are preventing this girl from attending school.

toomuchfaff · 04/09/2025 13:02

Their business... keep your nose out and your mouth shut.

Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one and usually no one wants to hear it.

x2boys · 04/09/2025 13:01

Well its nothing to do with you there maybe issues you are
not aware of.

MyMilchick · 04/09/2025 13:01

Stay out of it, it's none of your business

lnks · 04/09/2025 13:00

You have no idea what is going on in somebodies else's family

Bogpinkbear · 04/09/2025 12:59

Don’t say anything it won’t go down well.

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