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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dropping her T’s

439 replies

Stick0rTwist · 04/09/2025 10:51

My daughter has just gone into Yr1 and is an articulate child, relatively smart with a love for reading.

We moved her to a new school in the new year and have noticed since then she has started dropping her t’s when saying many of her words, like water, better, bottle, little etc.

This gets corrected consistently at home as although we don’t speak the queens English (and are not snobbish by any stretch of the imagination) we would prefer her to speak properly and not get into bad habits speech wise.

Over the summer holidays she was fine, but I’ve noticed in the two days she’s been back her speech has reverted back.

So here’s the AIBU - would I be unreasonable to mention this to her teacher? Or would I sound like a massive snob 🙈

Sounds dramatic but it’s even making me want to move her school again as this was not a problem at her old school at all. Its been a direct result of moving school as it started the week we moved.

OP posts:
CrostaDiPizza · 04/09/2025 13:57

@Octavia64 I see the word “water” and I say “fish”- that's not pronunciation, that is using the wrong word.
Wa'er - is a regional pronunciation it's not dialect.

@ThisChicPinkRaven , I think you mean Susie Dent.

ThisChicPinkRaven · 04/09/2025 13:55

According to the incomparable Susie Dent - arguably one of the leading lexicographers in this country - English is an evolving, truly democratised language where usage is king.

You may not like that your daughter is dropping her Ts, you may not like slang, or colloquialisms, or even the changing nature of language, but there's very little you can do about it.

On a broader note, you can make a reasonable argument that the purpose of language is to communicate thought. As long as the speech is intelligible and clear, does it really matter if somebody communicates in a manner you don't consider 'correct' or 'proper'. If the answer is yes then, I'm afraid, the problem may be you.

InMyShowgirlEra · 04/09/2025 13:54

You're considering CHANGING SCHOOL because your 5 year old is using a glottal stop in some words?

By all means, talk to the teacher if you want to give everyone in the staff room a good laugh.

Bad habits? What are you actually talking about?!

butterflybreeches · 04/09/2025 13:53

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:38

I think if you're from the UK, it's quite easy to understand the accents from all parts of the UK.

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Have you tried Geordie, Glasweigan or strong Scouse?!

AgentPidge · 04/09/2025 13:51

HoLeeFuk · 04/09/2025 10:53

Sounds dramatic but it’s even making me want to move her school again as this was not a problem at her old school at all. Its been a direct result of moving school as it started the week we moved.

I think that's crazy.

FWIW this happened to me in secondary school. My mum "consistently corrected" it and it made me feel small and hurt, but didn't stop me speaking in a way that came naturally at the time. When I went to college in a different area with a different accent, I started speaking differently. That lasted into adulthood and I don't drop Ts now.

Same with me. You tend to speak like the people around you.
I wouldn't worry too much about it, OP. Don't be that parent who is telling your kid off all the time and making them feel small and guilty for trying to fit in.

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:50

Someone2025 · 04/09/2025 13:46

You are not the OP though are you and she doesn’t like it, she is perfectly entitled not to like it

Edited
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Oh well, better not post again then as opinions aren't wanted. Thanks for pointing that out to me on an opinion forum.🙄

Mydoglovescheese · 04/09/2025 13:47

I had parents with different regional accents and lived in several different areas as my family moved around a lot. My DM told me that I adopted the local accent wherever we were living in order to fit in with the kids in that area.
It has proved to be very useful as an adult to be able to switch into a range of different accents easily. My default accent is neutral and yes I do pronounce my ‘t’s

Someone2025 · 04/09/2025 13:46

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:44

Yes I do, though I pronounce mine. I don't have a problem with people who don't. I actually love the diversity of UK accents. Surely we all have favourite accents? I'm from the West of Scotland, but love an East Coast accent. I love the Geordie accent, the Welsh accent and anything Irish (North or South). There are accents that aren't my favourites but I can understand what people are saying as we all speak the same language!

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You are not the OP though are you and she doesn’t like it, she is perfectly entitled not to like it

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:46

HundredMilesAnHour · 04/09/2025 13:45

Not necessarily. It very much depends on the accent and how strong it is, as well as if any dialect is thrown in.

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Can you tell me one you don't understand?

AnPiscin · 04/09/2025 13:46

Yellowlife · 04/09/2025 13:38

I think students of English often find American accents easier to understand, as long as the accent isn’t a particularly strong one.

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Yes, I agree. I think people who speak with English accents should be corrected and made to speak with midwestern American accents. Much easier to understand.

HundredMilesAnHour · 04/09/2025 13:45

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:38

I think if you're from the UK, it's quite easy to understand the accents from all parts of the UK.

Show quote history

Not necessarily. It very much depends on the accent and how strong it is, as well as if any dialect is thrown in.

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:44

Someone2025 · 04/09/2025 13:38

You can still have an accent and pronounce ‘T’s
I take it you think dropping ‘T’s sound fine then?

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Yes I do, though I pronounce mine. I don't have a problem with people who don't. I actually love the diversity of UK accents. Surely we all have favourite accents? I'm from the West of Scotland, but love an East Coast accent. I love the Geordie accent, the Welsh accent and anything Irish (North or South). There are accents that aren't my favourites but I can understand what people are saying as we all speak the same language!

AnPiscin · 04/09/2025 13:43

CrostaDiPizza · 04/09/2025 13:32

@AnPiscin , I know many people who don't really have an accent. They are usually people like myself in that they grew up somewhere with no strong identifiable accent and moved via university to the South East at age 18-29.

So what is the boundary between an accent and 'sloppy speech'? As in, how do you decide which pronunciation falls into which category?
Whether people can clearly understand what you mean. (also @Differentforgirls )

Using my own way of speaking, if i said something or nothing, I might say summing or no'n. It's sloppy, so I usually say them the standard way.

If someone asks you what you mean by a word or is distracted by a turn of phrase, it disrupts the flow of the conversation.
It's not snobbery, it's communication.

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Of course those people have an accent @CrostaDiPizza - if they're from England they have an English accent! Do you seriously not get that?

Original poster
Stick0rTwist · 04/09/2025 13:38

Mydoglovescheese · 04/09/2025 13:10

@Stick0rTwistI don’t know whether this has been pointed out to you already, but the correct pronunciation is Yes, not Yep

Yep it has

OP posts:
Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:38

Bateson · 04/09/2025 13:36

Not sure, what would you say?

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I think if you're from the UK, it's quite easy to understand the accents from all parts of the UK.

Yellowlife · 04/09/2025 13:38

Bateson · 04/09/2025 13:23

So that you can be understood by anyone, not just someone with the same accent?

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I think students of English often find American accents easier to understand, as long as the accent isn’t a particularly strong one.

Someone2025 · 04/09/2025 13:38

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:36

So eradicating accents?

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You can still have an accent and pronounce ‘T’s
I take it you think dropping ‘T’s sound fine then?

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:36

Someone2025 · 04/09/2025 13:34

Pronouncing your ‘T’s

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So eradicating accents?

Bateson · 04/09/2025 13:36

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:33

So what accent does everyone understand?

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Not sure, what would you say?

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:35

CrostaDiPizza · 04/09/2025 13:32

@AnPiscin , I know many people who don't really have an accent. They are usually people like myself in that they grew up somewhere with no strong identifiable accent and moved via university to the South East at age 18-29.

So what is the boundary between an accent and 'sloppy speech'? As in, how do you decide which pronunciation falls into which category?
Whether people can clearly understand what you mean. (also @Differentforgirls )

Using my own way of speaking, if i said something or nothing, I might say summing or no'n. It's sloppy, so I usually say them the standard way.

If someone asks you what you mean by a word or is distracted by a turn of phrase, it disrupts the flow of the conversation.
It's not snobbery, it's communication.

Show quote history

Ok, so if I am reading this correctly, there should be one UK accent so people don't have to tolerate difference?

Original poster
Stick0rTwist · 04/09/2025 13:35

There’s been some really helpful responses so thank you. I will take the approach she’s doing it to fit in and will most likely grow out of it, so relax on the school front, but continue to gently correct her at home.

For the poster who was concerned about her childhood - she’s a very confident, good humoured, cheeky soul who is told all the time how loved she is and how proud we are of her. This is just gentle guidance, not an emotional beating, whenever we correct her.

OP posts:
80smonster · 04/09/2025 13:34

Do you live in Kent? It’s a bit of thing round those parts.

Someone2025 · 04/09/2025 13:34

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:18

What is "properly" though?

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Pronouncing your ‘T’s

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:33

Bateson · 04/09/2025 13:23

So that you can be understood by anyone, not just someone with the same accent?

Show quote history

So what accent does everyone understand?

CrostaDiPizza · 04/09/2025 13:32

Differentforgirls · 04/09/2025 13:18

What is "properly" though?

Show quote history

@AnPiscin , I know many people who don't really have an accent. They are usually people like myself in that they grew up somewhere with no strong identifiable accent and moved via university to the South East at age 18-29.

So what is the boundary between an accent and 'sloppy speech'? As in, how do you decide which pronunciation falls into which category?
Whether people can clearly understand what you mean. (also @Differentforgirls )

Using my own way of speaking, if i said something or nothing, I might say summing or no'n. It's sloppy, so I usually say them the standard way.

If someone asks you what you mean by a word or is distracted by a turn of phrase, it disrupts the flow of the conversation.
It's not snobbery, it's communication.

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