To dislike the phrase 'our family is complete'

As a mother of 3DC I never interpreted the phrase the way you suggested when I heard parents of 2DC saying it. We didn't feel complete after DC1 or DC2, but pretty much immediately after DC3 was born I was very definite that I a) didn't want to go through another pregnancy and b) was now happy with the number of children we had. It's not a smug feeling but a happy, satisfied feeling that that part of life is how I wanted it to be. Similar to how I felt when we bought our house. And presumably how many people feel on retirement.

Same our family is complete no idea how on earth it is can be smug, just a fact, op do you have un addressed issues?

Oh, I had always assumed that they had lost their data connection during entering a sentence like;
"Our family is complete...ly useless at everything we try and do."
or
"Our family is complete...ly ignorant as to why we should pickup our dog's poo."
or
"Our family is complete...ly stupid, but we do enjoy poking frogs with sticks."

A 2nd or 3rd child etc would be unwanted for us though. We wanted one? So after the first one, our family was complete!

I have four DC - my family is complete and has been for eight years!

I get you OP, I do think it's a little bit smug when used specifically in the context of a social media birth announcement - not crime of the century awful but just a tad, and given that social media announcements of all kinds inevitably come across a bit 'look at my perfect life' anyway, I personally wouldn't use it (or just wouldn't do an announcement at all) but hey ho. I mean good for you, random social media acquaintance, that in addition to just having had a beautiful baby you're telling me you now have exactly the number of children you wanted, is it really necessary to include this additional info? Lots of people don't get to have their ideal number of children for various reasons, infertility, relationship breakdown, bereavement, finances etc, some people don't even get to have one healthy happy baby, could you not just say that you're really happy with your new baby and leave it at that?

I think it's different as a phrase to say face to face to head off anticipated intrusive comments about having another, fair enough I guess in that context although IME the majority of people are either not interested or rude enough to really care either way or ask you how many children you're planning so no need to head them off at all, and the sort of nosy busybody who would start an unwelcome conversation about this doesn't really take a hint anyway, so not sure how much use it is!

But if they don’t want a third child, then their family is complete OP. How is that remotely smug?

Yes worded perfectly, why does it affect you?

It used to annoy me a bit when we had secondary infertility as I didn't feel we were complete but it was out of my hands. Now we have 2 I do feel more complete but I still probably wouldn't use those words. What other people do is fine though!

Why are you getting wound up about how other people choose to phrase that they don't want more kids?

I didn't feel a sense of the family being complete till the last one arrived, so I know the contented feeling they are talking about. Or I thought I did. I now know my family wasn't actually complete until we got the dogs! 😁

Yes exactly, I would never use that expression as it comes across as really smug and you don’t know what other people have gone through. I definitely felt ‘complete’ after our second so I get the sentiment but if anyone asked about more I just said no, we’re done.

I kind of think that yabu girl

My family is dcat, dd and me. We are complete

I say that because of the shame I get for being a single mum 🥺

If I had another (not likely 😭) I would amend it thats all xx

Unplanned doesn't mean unwanted. My last one wasn't planned but was considered to be a bonus.

Haha yes this! Why do people think it's OK?

I only ever wanted 2 children, I had 2 children therefore my family was complete and I made sure I didn't have any more.

I don’t see it like that but I don’t read SM (other than MN) so other people’s set ups are not on my radar. Everyone has their own ideal number in their head. I have two children and knew that was the end number for me, but in an ideal world (younger, more money, a man who didn’t turn out to be a disappointment) I would have liked four. My own personal circumstances made me realise two was my ‘complete’.

Well, you were at liberty to say it after you had your child, too. I mean, you're not taking a lie detector test. It's not a phrase I've ever used, but in that it reflects 'We're not planning any more children', DH and I could with truth have said it after the birth of our DS. And frankly, at the time, anything that shut down the more bizarre type of comments on intentionally having one child only would have been welcome.

you really shouldn't interpret it that way.

For some couple, ONE child and their family is complete.
For others, it's just describing what they have, they would be happy with whatever, but they happen to have a boy and a girl, or 2 girls. For others, family is complete with 4 kids.

I don't like the expression specifically, but it's just people happy with what they have.

They’re just saying they have the perfect number for them, it’s not about you.

We used the phrase to tell people we wouldn’t be having more when they were asking when to expect number 3. My friend didn’t say her family was complete until after baby number 4 because that was the right and perfect number for her.

I don’t like this sort of phrases but I always think that it’s just a fancy way to say: We were planning to have X amount of children and as now we have X amount of children don’t ask us questions about if, when, where and with whom we are having X+1.

There are people who think and speak quite straightforward and literally and there are people who like flowery way of talking . Both groups struggle to understand each other sometimes but it’s just their personal perceptions.

There’s a difference in not wanting a third child and a third child being unwanted.

I find it quite hard as a mum of one reading it all over social media sometimes. I would really have always liked a bigger family but due to fertility issues / other issues it didn't happen. Do I not have a "complete" family? Is my daughter's family less legitimate than your's?

It reads to me, like, "we have the perfect number of children, we can relax and enjoy our complete family now, sucks to be you if you're not there yet". I know people don't intend it that way, but thats they way I interpret it.

I doubt I ever used the phrase.
It is a bit cheesy. 🧀 😋

I've never liked it but can't really explain why. It just seems unnecessary. I never used it and was never asked if I was planning on having more children, so didn't need to.