To dislike the phrase 'our family is complete'

I honestly can't get worked up about this @Newstarttoday35 Why are so offended? I am assuming you have 3 or more children? If you are happy and comfortable with this, you shouldn't be offended by other people wanting 'only' 2 children!

I probably said it when I’d had my 3rd….if I had thought I might have a 4th I’d have said it then

a family being “complete” doesn’t have to mean 2 children

People were saying this decades before social media.

My family is 'complete' with two children. I didn't post that on SM, but it is. Our 2nd little man rounds off how large we intend to make our family.

Doesn't mean a 3rd would be unwanted, just unplanned!

Yes it should be nobody's business. But some people don't get that. We've got 3 boys, we're totally done, DH is snipped. We get it all the time, are we trying for a girl?. Strangers, people who know better, our own families- it's relentless. I don't do social media, so I'm not making announcements one way or the other, but "we're done now" or "our family is complete" are phrases I have to say often so I can see people might want to get ahead of it.

I had two - my family was complete - I took steps to ensure I didn’t have a third. A third child would not have been welcome. I see nothing wrong with this. If you wanted 3 kids good for you! My sister used to say the shop was shut!😂

It’s nauseatingly twee though isn’t it? People should have to state how many kids they want. Others shouldn’t speculate. It’s nobody’s business. I remember after having my second child (a boy to follow a girl) someone said how nice it was that I didn’t have to have any more children as I had one of each now. Mind blown! Who thinks like that???

Why are other people not allowed to think their family is complete? It isn't a comment yours or anyone else's family.
Perhaps there would be fewer announcements of completion if other people weren't so nosy and stopped asking about more kids?

I don't think that it's that OP thinks people shouldn't have the number of children they want or feel content with the number of children they have and not want more. It's the public nature / social media announcement of that fact she's objecting to. I'm not talking about specific family planning discussions or political debates about the optimum family size, I don't think that's the context OP is meaning. I think it's more than she means it would be really quite odd in most other general social contexts to announce apropos of nothing to your circle of friends and family 'I'm so glad we didn't have another child', 'I wouldn't have wanted a second/third/fourth child'. Most public announcements of happiness are about positive things have have happened, not negative things that haven't happened. It would seem strange to us that someone wants us to know that they're really happy about the absence of a child that never existed. Just the same as we'd find it odd if someone told us they're happy they haven't moved house/changed job/got a new car because they're satisfied with what they have now and it's better than any hypothetical alternative option - it would be like, good for you, why are you telling me, the assumption would be that you are happy with the status quo unless you say otherwise?

And yet in the context of saying you are really happy about the children you do have, and specifically at the time you announce the birth of your youngest child, it's quite normal to announce to the world that you don't want any more children. I don't know, maybe I'm socially maladjusted, but that seems odd to me. Not the feeling itself, that's fine, but that this is the designated time for you to publicly state your 'completeness' - how do you know at this point and at no other that you have chosen the best of all possible options of family size?

My family is complete though, you’re being ridiculous.

I mean doctors ask the same question "Is your family complete?"

I get this. But logically the person posting on social media is doing absolutely nothing wrong and is just happy with their family. They feel complete and are allowed to openly say that. I can see why it would bring jealous feelings if you couldn’t have any children, or wanted 2 but only able to have 1 and have that constant longing of never feeling “complete”

Well yes it does mean another child isn’t wanted. So people actively prevent pregnancy from happening. I didn’t want a 4th as we were done (‘complete’) so I made sure I didn’t have one what’s wrong with that? If it’s the phrase then well it’s just a phrase what else should people say?

I can understand how the phrase “my family is complete” might sound a bit smug if you are struggling with primary or secondary infertility.

I loathe overused trite, cutesy social media phrases. But I don't think it's reasonable to complain that a third child who doesn't even exist would be unwanted! It is ok to not want more children and for people to be upset about unwanted pregnancies, if that's what you're getting at?

I think the same for all the people who have school mums who are supposedly jealous of them, about what ? i have absolutely no idea

If it's used when nosily asked if you're going to have another child then fair enough. If you're posting it on Fbook alongside pics of second baby (born a perfect 2.5 years after the first) it's fucking annoying.

I agree but I don't get it. What on earth is there to be jealous of?

I’m guessing OP has jealous feelings

A third child was unwanted in my family. So much so that I aborted when my husband vasectomy failed.
My family is complete with two children.

And what?

Your triggers are not other people’s problems. These people on social media are just telling everyone that THEIR family is complete.

You are allowed to say you’re one and done! And not want another baby

You are allowed to feel complete after 2 kids. Or 3. Or 8.

The fact you said you feel people are “smug” saying they are complete makes me feel you are holding jealous feelings there

I've never really thought about it, but I'd just figure it meant "we're content with the number of children we have, and have no current plans to have any more."

I’m a third child, I was an accident, I’m not that fussed, it kind of sums up my life as I’m quite accident prone, also some of the best things in life happen by accident ;) doesn’t mean my parents or family love me less than my sisters who were very very much wanted and very much not an accident (they were IVF babies!) and I’ve never felt less wanted. Besides, 3 children isn’t that affordable nowadays! I always thought I would have 3 because that’s the dynamic I grew up in, but I’ll probably just have two (if I’m lucky enough, am about to have my first :) )

I have two and I'm quite happy with that. A 3rd would be most unwanted . I don't see what's wrong with not wanting more children

It's not a term I've used (because I would like another child, and have sadly had losses) but doesn't it just mean we are done having children? It also stops people asking questions about having more.