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Original poster

DD’s friend and mobile phone

35 replies

Reallywantachocolateorange · 03/09/2025 22:23

Dd is 7, her friend is 6 and has been given her dad’s old mobile phone, it has lots of games on it, but also has YouTube on and not just kids YouTube, normal YouTube.
She lives over the road from us and the girls have been playing at each other’s houses lots over summer.
The phone situation is causing such grief, Dd is begging for a phone, which she is categorically not having, she can occasionally play games Ive download on my phone, but this is during quiet tine after we’ve been out lots or she’s been playing out all day etc.
Her friend has started coming to the house with the phone and instead of playing, doing dens, dancing and so on, she’s sat playing games on the phone and Dd sat next to her playing it. I ended up saying no phones after lots of encouragement to play outside, the girl said it was her phone so she could, I said not in my house please.
She stopped bringing the phone round, today Dd has been at hers in the afternoon and has only just managed to get to sleep hugging me after being scared from watching YouTube videos on this girls phone-scary ones apparently
I’m so angry, what do I do? Talk to the mum, just put a stop to her going there?

Is it insane that a 6 year old has access to this or am I too overprotective??!

OP posts:
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FuzzyWolf · 07/09/2025 17:14

You need to parent and that means stopping play dates with the girl. Your DD clearly isn’t being kept safe at her friend’s house and you are allowing the device that is the issue to come into your home.

Dolphin78 · 07/09/2025 17:09

I’ve just installed the Virgin app where you can control the router and turn off devices. I’m sure your provider if not Virgin has the same.
i can turn off devices such as the XBOx etc
Either that or pull the plug!

FeedingPidgeons · 04/09/2025 20:16

Think of it like this - the parents might genuinely be clueless. You'd be doing them a favour by explaining.

Maybe they kick off, but its worth saying something for the kids sake.

Buffs · 04/09/2025 20:16

Reallywantachocolateorange · 03/09/2025 22:35

I’m thinking what to put in a text? How to put it across but not cause issues (difficult when neighbours)

Show quote history

Speak don’t text.

TurquoiseDress · 04/09/2025 19:50

Wow totally inappropriate for 6 year old to have access to a mobile phone totally unsupervised!

NoisyMonster678 · 04/09/2025 19:46

Your house, your rules.
Bann your DD's friend bringing her phoe into your house.

Chances are, your DD may get round this but its a start

Spinmerightroundbaby · 04/09/2025 19:36

Itsanewlife · 03/09/2025 22:26

Not insane at all. 6 year olds should not have unsupervised access to smart phones. Talk to her parents and if they are not responsive to your concerns, put an end to your DD going across.

This. Agreed. YANBU.

MMUmum · 04/09/2025 18:21

My friend has a 4yr old Gs. Last week we took.him for a day out, and on the journey home he had friends phone to watch Thomas the tank engine videos. Luckily I was sat next to him, because suddenly it switched to a video of a character shouting at someone that they would be 'going to hell' because they hadn't save a dog from falling down a hole. I took it from him to see what was going on and the characters were like horror film ghouls, I put Thomas back on and he didn't seem to notice, but it just shows how quickly things can go wrong

LavenderBlue19 · 04/09/2025 10:31

Madness. I simply wouldn't send my child to their house as they clearly can't be trusted, but yes I would go and have a chat first.

YouTube Kids is bad enough, I had it on the youngest age setting and my son managed to see a video that scared him. (I now have it set so only channels I've approved can be shown.) Actual YouTube has everything on the internet, the vast majority of the content won't be suitable for children.

ScrubbingPotatoes · 04/09/2025 10:26

I think you can just be upfront and say please don’t send your daughter to my house with her phone as it’s causing issues. You can also say your daughter has been scared watching things on a YouTube and if they are to have phones over there, then can they stick to games only.

When I have visiting teenagers I say phones downstairs at night. It’s my house, they don’t have to come back if they don’t like it.

Oldrockchic · 04/09/2025 09:40

You're being far to hesitant about this. Stop all unsupervised contact, which clearly means your daughter can't go to her friend's house. Your house - no phone. Be brave enough to actually talk to her mother though, say you don't want to cause upset but that your daughter was really upset by what she saw on her last visit. She needs to know what hers is seeing. Text messages aren't really as good as direct communication with something like this.

Original poster
Reallywantachocolateorange · 04/09/2025 09:34

Funsummerfun · 04/09/2025 08:24

It's scary the parents haven't locked the phone down! My kids are a lot older and I have content restrictions on their devices and on our router. Yes, I know older kids will find it ways get around this but younger ones wouldn't and it's so easy to do - why wouldn't you?!

I know, I don’t get it at all!

OP posts:
Funsummerfun · 04/09/2025 08:24

It's scary the parents haven't locked the phone down! My kids are a lot older and I have content restrictions on their devices and on our router. Yes, I know older kids will find it ways get around this but younger ones wouldn't and it's so easy to do - why wouldn't you?!

Original poster
Reallywantachocolateorange · 04/09/2025 08:19

reversegear · 03/09/2025 23:20

OP they can see porn, car crashes, dead people absolutely horrific stuff on YouTube. Please get clued up about what’s online and get protecting your little one. I’m not wanting to scare you are be angry at you but please lock this down quickly.

It’s horrific, not understanding how the parents can allow that

OP posts:
reversegear · 03/09/2025 23:20

OP they can see porn, car crashes, dead people absolutely horrific stuff on YouTube. Please get clued up about what’s online and get protecting your little one. I’m not wanting to scare you are be angry at you but please lock this down quickly.

ThisIsHowWeDoItThisIsHowWeDoIt · 03/09/2025 23:16

Reallywantachocolateorange · 03/09/2025 23:05

Can they see porn on YouTube? If that’s true then I need to have a serious talk with them

Show quote history

Of course they can see porn on YouTube. It’s practically what YouTube is for. I’m a teacher and we aren’t allowed to use it at school at all because of all the dodgy content. It used to be the rule that if you wanted to use a YouTube video in a lesson you had to watch every second of it first but obviously nobody was doing that so now it’s completely blocked.

You can think you are watching Peppa Pig and it’s not..it’s porn.

Original poster
Reallywantachocolateorange · 03/09/2025 23:05

reversegear · 03/09/2025 23:03

I would be straight round asking to see the history of the phone to understand what the hell they have been allowed to watch and loose my shit with the parents. This is way way too polite just get that phone away from your DD before she sees porn

Edited

Can they see porn on YouTube? If that’s true then I need to have a serious talk with them

OP posts:
Original poster
Reallywantachocolateorange · 03/09/2025 23:03

MrTumblesSpottyBoxers · 03/09/2025 22:45

Hi Neighbour. DD had a lovely time playing with xx, thank you so much for having her. She was however quite upset this evening due to something she saw on YouTube on xx's phone. Is xx ok? I'm not sure what it was but would it be possible please for the girls not to have the phone with them when they are playing, as I'm worried something scary will pop up again. Thanks a lot,

Give her one chance, if on the next play date the phone makes an appearance then ban her from going, end of

This sounds good 👍 thank you

OP posts:
reversegear · 03/09/2025 23:03

I would be straight round asking to see the history of the phone to understand what the hell they have been allowed to watch and loose my shit with the parents. This is way way too polite just get that phone away from your DD before she sees porn

Original poster
Reallywantachocolateorange · 03/09/2025 23:02

Endofyear · 03/09/2025 22:45

Just don't let your daughter go and play there. If they ask you why, tell them. Your daughter's wellbeing is more important than your neighbour's hurt feelings.

I’m not worried about hurting their feelings one bit, it’s a shame as aside from this, Dd enjoyed playing there

OP posts:
Original poster
Reallywantachocolateorange · 03/09/2025 23:01

LunchtimeNaps · 03/09/2025 22:43

Two of my DD friends had mobiles at 6/7. TikTok Snapchat Insta the works. Shocking really.

Dd mentioned Tiktok the other day, she had never heard of it before, I asked if her friend had it on the phone, apparently not but she’s told my dd about it? She’s 6!
At first I thought she’d just been given an old phone with games put on, whilst not something i’d do, I only just knew it has YouTube (not even kids) on it

OP posts:
Itsanewlife · 03/09/2025 23:00

Can I also suggest that you install parental controls on your internet and suggest that your neighbor does so as well (in case children continue to spend time together). This should limit the chances of something untoward/scary popping up inadvertently even if your DD is just playing a game on your phone.

Original poster
Reallywantachocolateorange · 03/09/2025 22:57

Ablondiebutagoody · 03/09/2025 22:40

Don't let her go round there and don't worry about causing any "issues". Fuck them. They are being completely inappropriate. Why do you even need to text them?

To let the mum know, the girls have played together for a long time and without this it’s ok, if we suddenly don’t go around it will seem odd. Also sort of want to point out how bad it is for her dd to be exposed to it but also don’t want to step on her toes or come across as being judgmental..even though I am judging!

OP posts:
MrTumblesSpottyBoxers · 03/09/2025 22:45

Hi Neighbour. DD had a lovely time playing with xx, thank you so much for having her. She was however quite upset this evening due to something she saw on YouTube on xx's phone. Is xx ok? I'm not sure what it was but would it be possible please for the girls not to have the phone with them when they are playing, as I'm worried something scary will pop up again. Thanks a lot,

Give her one chance, if on the next play date the phone makes an appearance then ban her from going, end of

Endofyear · 03/09/2025 22:45

Just don't let your daughter go and play there. If they ask you why, tell them. Your daughter's wellbeing is more important than your neighbour's hurt feelings.