I already have a daughter and recently found out that this baby is a boy. I feel incredibly grateful to be pregnant again, and I know how lucky I am to be carrying a healthy baby. I already love him, and I know I’ll adore him completely when he arrives. But I’ve been caught off guard by this quiet feeling of sadness that I didn’t expect.
I’m very close to my mum. We speak every day, go on little trips together, help each other out, and are part of each other’s daily lives. I’ve started to build something similar with my daughter, even though she’s still young, and I suppose I imagined continuing that dynamic with another girl.
With a boy, I’m not sure what that relationship will look like in the long term. In so many families I’ve seen, sons gradually become more distant from their parents as they get older, especially once they have partners and children of their own. It often ends up being the wife’s parents who are more involved, while his own mum becomes more of an occasional visitor.
Of course there are exceptions. I can think of the odd “friend of a friend’s cousin” whose son stayed close and prioritised both sides of the family equally, or doesn’t automatically side with his partner when she’s being unfair. But in my experience, that feels like the exception rather than the norm.
I also worry about what raising a boy will be like day to day. I know it’s a stereotype, but the boys I’ve been around — nephews, friends’ kids — tend to be more energetic, more physical, and more chaotic. I’m a bit afraid I won’t enjoy that stage as much, or that I won’t know how to connect with him in the same way.
If anyone has felt this way too, I’d love to hear from you. Especially mums of older boys — did the bond end up being just as close, even if it looked a bit different? What parts of having a son surprised you in a good way?