So upset with my brother and his wife

İt all sounds very petty on their side and you deserve better, especially in your time of need. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I take it all back guys, I haven’t followed the conversation properly at all.

over and out, apologies!

Not pathetic at all, grieving and she’s shit stirring - I hope you’re ok xxxx

I read it as the bro and sil had their arms around each other, but I'm not sure what the issue is with that.

@Brunettesmorefun that all sounds incredibly hard. Sending you strength 💐

Edit: see the update. Your bro and sil had their arms around your sister that has gone NC with you. I can understand why that hurt so much, but honestly they haven't really done anything wrong either. Take care of yourself and your DGC.

Maybe. But weird of SIL to post a picture of herself and her DH with a caption, to quote OP, “saying how lovely they were, how close.”

wouldn’t that mean writing “we are lovely, we are close”?

No that's not how I read it, I think you're getting mixed up with OPs sister and sister in law

As I understand it, OP was annoyed because SIL posted a photo of OP’s recently passed away daughter embracing her uncle who is SIL’s husband. The caption was about how close niece and uncle were, and was a possible dig at OP who had restricted how many people attended her daughter's funeral

It sounds as though when people should have been supporting you and continuing to support you, your sister made it all about her and her family, and your sister in law may have been at worst insensitive. Apologies should be enough when we make mistakes and errors of judgement but some people lack care and compassion.

Have you had any counselling or therapy to help with your feelings. It's really important if you don't have support to talk through your feelings so that you can better function moving forward.

It sounds as though the family dynamics aren't particularly helpful so perhaps step away and put a little emotional distance between you, and see if you can access some counselling.

I'm sorry for your loss, and hope things become easier with time.

This is not how I read it. I read it as the picture was of SIL and Brother with the nieces and nephews who were excluded from the funeral. The posts aren’t very clear what the issue is tbh.

My sister stopped contact with me as she felt her children had been snubbed and has not spoken to me since sadly.

This is your sister, not your sister-in-law? How does this connect to the issues with your SIL and your brother she is married to?

The problem with my sister in law happened as she posted photos of her and my brother with their arms around each and saying how lovely they were, how close. This is what upset me. In hindsight I should have kept quiet but it caught me at a bad time.

You mean she posted a photo of her husband and his niece hugging with a kind comment and you got upset? What did you say to them that you needed to apologize? And how have in-person interactions gone since this happened three years ago?

Need to know more and what the post was.

Agree

The photo on social media was of OP’s daughter and brother - the SIL’s husband and his niece

Given this context I simply wouldn't bother with her.

She stopped talking to you because you did what was best for you and your grandson when you had both suffered such a massive loss?

After the funeral of my daughter I had a 'friend', who had been to my sons funeral a few years previously, get upset because I didn't invite her to my daughters funeral (she never met my daughter). She called me selfish etc, and said I should have had the same people at both of their funerals.

She was my oldest friend, and I simply walked away from her. Her attitude was so shitty, and I had been through so much, I didn't need any additional crap from anyone.

It wasn't your finest hour commenting on that photo, of course, but she had made the worst time in your life, even more crap, and withdrew much needed support because she felt snubbed, so I absolutely understand why you snapped.

Even at this point in your grief you need to be surrounded by people who will be supportive and understanding and not centre themselves, your SIL is not one of those people 💐

The problem with my sister in law happened as she posted photos of her and my brother with their arms around each and saying how lovely they were, how close.

She was calling herself and her H lovely? What did she mean, that they are lovely people?

I do think that was bizarre behaviour from them.

I'm so sorry, you had so much to cope with here.

You don't have to apologise for being upset. You are entitled to your emotions. Theres is obviously more to the story. What did you say that you feel you to apologise for?

So she made your dear daughters funeral about her feelings, instead of showing any understanding of the situation. What a bitch. So sorry for your loss xx

You don’t sound like you’re able to support eachother. You made a decision about the funeral attendance in difficult circumstances so I’d have forgiven you for that. Others will have emotions over your daughter’s death, maybe seeing you makes it harder for them. I would try to keep channels open especially with younger family members.

Oh my goodness OP how sad for you and your grandson.
I honestly can't believe the nastiness of your sister stopping contact with you over the perceived " snub". It's beyond petty.
It sounds as though you and your grandson are better off without these unpleasant callous people in your lives.

The problem with my sister in law happened as she posted photos of her and my brother with their arms around each and saying how lovely they were, how close. This is what upset me. In hindsight I should have kept quiet but it caught me at a bad time

Im lost as to why you go so upset about a photo of her with her husband.