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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Back to school pics on social media

114 replies

abouttogetlynched · 03/09/2025 17:49

I have seen countless “back to school” photos on my social media today, but AIBU to be surprised (although I don’t know if I really am) by the number of people who give the names of their DC and show the school they go to?

I know I know these people, but some are ex work colleagues, ex school pals etc - people whose kids I have never met. Who else is on their social media that they don’t know that well who can see this stuff?

I’ve counted 5 today who are teachers and have posted their primary aged kids with name and school shown. Shouldn’t they know better? Like from safeguarding POV?

OP posts:
literalbinbag · 03/09/2025 21:42

Ok, I’ve seen all I need to see - it’s not a Brownie “leaders place” to say don’t put your child at risk. It’s not your primary teacher saying “don’t do it” - and why, when the the argument is “it’s someone we know”, would you post your children? THEY DON’T HAVE TO BE ONLINE. Literally nobody will think less of you for not posting your children online. You might all be “comfortable” but all it takes is one person

lastnightadjsavedmylifee · 03/09/2025 21:40

But surely if you know enough about your Facebook friends to know where they live you can make a pretty good guess at which school they're at. I've also had friends blur out the logo on the kids uniform but the cardigans are such a distinct pattern you would know which school it was anyway.

Looloolullabelle · 03/09/2025 21:34

The risk is minuscule, I’m happy with my decision posting my kids on my private Facebook in their uniform, and I work in a school. Most of the teachers I work with also do.

Im a Welsh speaker, it’s hardly a shock to anyone who knows me which school my kids go to and will go to for secondary.

My children encounter far more risk of harm, injury etc in their day to day lives than me posting a pic on my Facebook page.

StMarie4me · 03/09/2025 21:19

Privacy settings are the key here.

NerrSnerr · 03/09/2025 21:18

literalbinbag · 03/09/2025 20:43

I’ve been given a kicking on this thread - fair enough - but might we consider why we think we MUST post photos of our children on social media (many of you saying “friends/family”) - why does that have to go online? Why not closed WhatsApp groups? Family groups?) Just show people when you see them in person?

No one is saying ‘we must’. I haven’t posted any back to school pictures. It’s just not the place of a Brownie leader to tell parents what they can do in their own personal life. The way you’re talking about Brownie policy suggests you don’t actually understand safeguarding policies and that would concern me as a parent.

Zanatdy · 03/09/2025 21:07

You’re over thinking it. I share photos of have for years, never considered one of my FB friends might decide to do something bad with that info. I don’t live my life like that.

AliTheMinx · 03/09/2025 21:06

I enjoy posting photos of.my DC online and don't see any issue with it. He is fine with it. I obviously respect the wishes of others and wouldn't post photos of other children. I have enjoyed seeing.photos of my friends' children going back to school too. It's a nice way to feel connected and up-to-date with their news.

outofofficeon · 03/09/2025 21:02

Weirdly I’ve been getting these photos in my feed from people I do not know and from very random places. Do people not realise that if their posts are public they really are posted to complete strangers. I’d hate that if it were my children. The algorithms are insane!

TaborlinTheGreat · 03/09/2025 20:58

literalbinbag · 03/09/2025 20:43

I’ve been given a kicking on this thread - fair enough - but might we consider why we think we MUST post photos of our children on social media (many of you saying “friends/family”) - why does that have to go online? Why not closed WhatsApp groups? Family groups?) Just show people when you see them in person?

I don't think anyone thinks we 'must'. People like doing it. It's a normal thing to do.

ShesTheAlbatross · 03/09/2025 20:56

literalbinbag · 03/09/2025 20:43

I’ve been given a kicking on this thread - fair enough - but might we consider why we think we MUST post photos of our children on social media (many of you saying “friends/family”) - why does that have to go online? Why not closed WhatsApp groups? Family groups?) Just show people when you see them in person?

I’ve never posted my DC online, but I’d think it weird if our rainbows leader told me not to. Just like I’d think it was weird if she emailed saying “remember to drive safely with children in the car, give them a healthy diet, don’t introduce new partners to them too soon, don’t let them watch too much tv, and make sure they brush their teeth”.
I’d imagine far more children are harmed in some way by a parent’s partner than by someone who did not know them finding info on them online. But you’d never send that email “please remember, for your child’s safety, no stepfathers!”

I just find it odd that this is the specific risk you take it upon yourself to email about.

(To be clear, I’d understand it if your email was limited to photos of other brownies)

literalbinbag · 03/09/2025 20:43

I’ve been given a kicking on this thread - fair enough - but might we consider why we think we MUST post photos of our children on social media (many of you saying “friends/family”) - why does that have to go online? Why not closed WhatsApp groups? Family groups?) Just show people when you see them in person?

NerrSnerr · 03/09/2025 20:34

literalbinbag · 03/09/2025 20:32

Ok - whether I’m a brownie leader or not, I have a real issue around social media. I didn’t set my units rule, but if it weren’t already in place, I’d have asked for it.

Your Brownie set has a rule about parents posting pictures of their own children on their personal social media?

SummerFrog25 · 03/09/2025 20:33

WilliamBell · 03/09/2025 19:48

I would be very put off being in that Brownie pack if I was subject to that level of busybodying about nothing.

Yep! Other groups are available

literalbinbag · 03/09/2025 20:32

Ok - whether I’m a brownie leader or not, I have a real issue around social media. I didn’t set my units rule, but if it weren’t already in place, I’d have asked for it.

SummerFrog25 · 03/09/2025 20:31

NerrSnerr · 03/09/2025 19:26

But you don’t need to send a reminder out to parents because of your preferences. That is up to them. If they’re posting pictures of groups of Brownies then fair enough if they don’t have permission but back to school pictures is not your concern and overstepping your role.

Absolutely.

KrisAkabusi · 03/09/2025 20:28

It’s not just about kids being snatched is it. It’s about there being photos of children online available for others to misuse.

It's not like there aren't photos of kids everywhere on the Internet though. As a previous poster pointed out, there's loads of them on Mumsnet ads alone. And in the highly unlikely event that someone misused a photo of my kids in school uniform, I would probably never know. They'd either keep it themselves or on the dark web, not somewhere I would ever see it.

SummerFrog25 · 03/09/2025 20:27

PosiePetal · 03/09/2025 18:58

I was a Scout Leader. We never did this! It’s up to parents what they post on social media and school is nothing to do with Brownies or Scouts.

👍🏻

SummerFrog25 · 03/09/2025 20:25

parakeet · 03/09/2025 18:57

Yeah this sort of self-aggrandising lecturing is so tedious. We'll post pics of our kids if we want because most of us think this is silly scaremongering

Exactly.

'stay in your lane'sorings to mind

MessageMystery · 03/09/2025 20:25

abouttogetlynched · 03/09/2025 17:49

I have seen countless “back to school” photos on my social media today, but AIBU to be surprised (although I don’t know if I really am) by the number of people who give the names of their DC and show the school they go to?

I know I know these people, but some are ex work colleagues, ex school pals etc - people whose kids I have never met. Who else is on their social media that they don’t know that well who can see this stuff?

I’ve counted 5 today who are teachers and have posted their primary aged kids with name and school shown. Shouldn’t they know better? Like from safeguarding POV?

I saw a back to school pic on a friends Facebook today, the child was wearing full school uniform, the post mentioned what year she was going into and in the background was the outside plaque complete with house number and street. I was mortified!

SummerFrog25 · 03/09/2025 20:22

literalbinbag · 03/09/2025 18:44

I’m a Brownie leader. EVERY year without fail I have to send an email out to parents reminding them of the safeguarding rules of “please don’t post pictures of your children in their school uniform with the badge fully visible in front of your front door with house number fully visible”

You're a Brusnue Leader, you don't have to do that, it's over stepping, NONE of your business.

SummerFrog25 · 03/09/2025 20:13

KrisAkabusi · 03/09/2025 17:58

It is staggeringly unlikely that a paedophile is scouting random social media hoping for a child to snatch. The odds must be incredibly remote, otherwise we would hear about it all the time. I live in Ireland. Every year we read about all these Safeguarding Concerns in the UK with bemusement. It's not considered a secret what school kids go to because everyone knows anyway. It's obvious from the uniforms. People post photos on social media, and nothing happens. Every week the local papers have photos of kids in school or in sport teams, with names ages and approximate address, and nothing happens. It's just not considered risky behavior the way it is in the UK.

Great to know not everywhere has gone MAD😊

sundayfundayclub · 03/09/2025 20:11

Also, a lot of posters are mentioning that your kids are in more danger from someone known to you than a stranger - isn't that literally the point?

Quite

LividYosemite · 03/09/2025 20:11

I'm a teacher. I have shitloads of safeguarding training.

I post my kid online all the time. On FB because I'm ancient. My page is restricted to my friends. I don't see this as an unnecessary risk.

I'd save my worry for the women who have new partners all the time and introduce them to their kids, and quickly have them living in their homes. That's an actual, quantifiable risk I'd spend time worrying about. (Saying this as a single parent myself.)

iamnotalemon · 03/09/2025 20:10

KrisAkabusi · 03/09/2025 17:58

It is staggeringly unlikely that a paedophile is scouting random social media hoping for a child to snatch. The odds must be incredibly remote, otherwise we would hear about it all the time. I live in Ireland. Every year we read about all these Safeguarding Concerns in the UK with bemusement. It's not considered a secret what school kids go to because everyone knows anyway. It's obvious from the uniforms. People post photos on social media, and nothing happens. Every week the local papers have photos of kids in school or in sport teams, with names ages and approximate address, and nothing happens. It's just not considered risky behavior the way it is in the UK.

It’s not just about kids being snatched is it. It’s about there being photos of children online available for others to misuse.

it amazes me also how many men put photos of their children in their online dating profiles in the apps.

PollyDarton1 · 03/09/2025 20:10

Someone I know posted a picture of her son, with his name on chalkboard, and the school badge, with her house number and street name (the plaques with 23 Hawthorn Drive kind of ones) on.

She may well have a very locked down profile, but I am someone who knows her in passing from 15 years ago, so hardly a close friend or relative.

My son is upper primary now and doesn’t like photos full stop 😂 But if I do catch one tomorrow I’ll be sure to have neither the badge nor my house number, and we’ve discussed consent about photos online and he’s happy to have them on there (mainly as we have relatives that live in NZ).