Terrified about granddaughter moving to uni at 17

How lucky is she to have such a caring nan AND to be starting an adventure!

Halls are absolutely such a good place to start - there’ll be lots of kit in the kitchen and it’s easy enough to do a team trip to Argos / Ikea on the bus (and there’s loads of freebies like olio etc etc). She’ll sort her own fashions out too - there’s mountains of student deals and discounts and london has everything from charity shops and high street to indi boutiques.

Not sure if she’ll need a job - the uni itself often has good options (I did conference and events stewarding and working in the student bar)

Of course safety is important - but the same applies everywhere really. In london, particularly central london, I usually feel more safe as there’s people about / traffic / lights etc, so long as you’re alert and street smart.

I moved to london at (just) 18 and (still) love it.
in terms of trains check out superfares!

I stayed in London for my PGCE . I would just take down bedding (duvet,pillow and bedding set). Pack some paper plates and cutlery.

Once you are there, she can do click and collect or get Argos to deliver. You actually need a lot less than you think.

It’s natural you’ll worry about her. Maybe book a hotel for two nights so you can help her go shopping the next day?

She will be amazing. She already is a shining star. You don’t need to buy her anything in advance. Once she knows her address you can order everything you need and have it delivered or you can take her shopping. One of my fondest memories is dropping my DD’s stuff in her halls then going to a big TK maxx to get duvet covers, mugs, etc.

I'm Ayrshire too, I have no experience of uni or words of wisdom but I just wanted to say you sound amazing. Wishing your GD the best of luck and hope your nerves settle.
London seems so scary compared to where we live! xc

The only concern I would have is that while it is relatively common in Scotland to start uni at 17, it is vanishingly rare in England, so she may occasionally feel left out if all her friends are going to licensed venues. But if she’s more interested in the sportier side of things, she might meet more non drinkers / be socialising in other ways anyway.

She will have the time of her life OP. She sounds wonderful and as do you in your care for her. You’re doing all the right things - she’ll love coming home to you every now and then, and showing you London when you visit. It’s a super special place and generally very safe.

Practically, for her books, the libraries are fabulous and she’ll have no issues there. Clothing-wise, no one bats an eyelid about what you wear in London - it’s part of its charm. I would travel extremely light and get her 90% of what she needs when you get there. The best of luck to you both.

First of all, what amazing grandparents you are!
My daughter took a gap year, and at just 18 set off to travel around Asia for 7 months, by herself.
Funnily enough I was more worried when she went to university last year!!!
But she was absolutely fine, they make friends VERY quickly in halls, and tend to go out together/ hang out together.
The one thing I’d tell her to watch out for is possible spiking of drinks when out - my dd has seen this happen to one of her friends.
I also have her as a “find a friend” on my I phone, I do find that really reassuring. ( She knows I have it, she is absolutely fine with it)
Clothes wise my dd gets loads of stuff from Vinted.
Her dad lets her use his card for an uber if ever she needs to get one home after a night out.
Plesse try not to worry, she will love it, and this time next year, when she’s starting another year, you will look back at how worried you are now and give a wry smile to yourself xxx

I know somewhat how you are feeling OP. I have no children but my father grew up in Galston. Your granddaughter will be absolutely fine. Order or get most of the stuff like kitchen equipment that she needs once she’s there. All kitchen equipment will need to be kept in her room if my brothers experience is anything to go by. Our parents loaned him some things from our childhood and they never came back. Brother went to York. Absolutely she will need to be aware of her surroundings but for the most part keep your head down outside of uni and she’ll be fine.

OP, I hope she has a wonderful time in London and enjoys her course. We live in London and DC studied MFL in Scotland and abroad and sat A Levels at 17 so did this in reverse. A friend’s son also studied MFL at UCL.

Agree on the issue of taking care of her phone, watching for getting her drink spiked etc. Echo point on crossbody bags and watch out if she puts a wallet into a compartment on the back of her backpack.

Good to have some paracetamol / neurofen in case of student sniffles. DC was poorly at the end of his first term and his flat mates kept an eye on him and went out for juice etc.

Worth booking the train home for Christmas as soon as booking opens as she will be able to travel much, much cheaper - I can see tickets from London - Glasgow with a student railcard for £24.

If she likes tennis, get her to enter the draw for Wimbledon, it has just opened.

Free tickets to BBC shows on the BBC website. £10 tickets to the National Theatre for young people;I recommend Inter Alia which is on at the moment. £30 tickets at the ROH for young people. Cinemas such as Picturehouse offer discounted tickets for students.

If you have a good dentist, worth her having a dental check up when home.

I used to work in London in my twenties.

I have to say that I found central London safer walking around at night than my local town. This is because there are always lots of people milling around.

Good advice about the phone and being aware of not leaving drinks unattended.

Maybe look up the Suzy Lamplaugh trust charity for tips for young women on how to keep safe.

Hi OP,

You sound lovely and so does your DGD.

She’ll be absolutely fine. London is a fantastic city and - despite what you can read in the media - it is very safe, especially central London. I’m actually worried about sending my own daughter to university away from London in two years’ time. :-) We’re just scared of what we don’t know, I think.

As I always tell my daughter, look after London and London will look after you.

For background, I came to London from France when I was nineteen with just a suitcase. The coach dropped me off at Victoria Station and I made my way to my hall of residence, not too far from Goodge Street actually. I barely spoke any English and had lived in a small council estate flat in rural France until then. First person in my family to go abroad. First person in my family to go to university. I was welcome with open arms by everyone and slotted right in. I adopted the city and it adopted me.

Your GDG will find that a lot of people are like her: new to London and super excited to be here. No-one will care what she wears or anything like that.

Her hall will have a warden and senior students who keep an eye on what’s going on. You could try and get in touch with the warden - just to introduce yourself.

As others have said, she should be careful when she uses her phone. I have a strap to keep it secure although it’s best to have it safely hidden in your bag. And just like everywhere, always be aware of your surroundings, always know who’s behind you, and try and go out as a group at night.

All the best to you and your DGD. And very sorry to hear about your DD. 💐

Aww OP totally natural to worry, she’s your baby and she’s been through a lot.
I live in London and my 12 year old commutes to school every day, changes trains at Clapham Junction, deals with cancelled trains and tubes, all by himself. He’s not an especially streetwise kid but it’s perfectly safe and manageable. I’ve also had lots of lovely au pairs over the years, young girls from all over the world, not all of whom spoke English! They’ve all had a ball and never had any issues with crime etc.
She just needs to be a bit aware of her surroundings, mobile phones being grabbed out of peoples hands is the main risk here. And tbh if that’s the worst thing that happens, well it’s not the end of the world.
Be proud of your brave bright girl ☺️

I know which hall that is. The hall is split into two parts, there is a catered hall which is much larger and then there is a self-catered hall which is about a quarter of the size.

(If it's the one that I'm thinking of)

It is literally only a three minute walk to UCL so there will be no problems going there and back (it's not like she'll have to traipse up to Camden to Ifor Evans).

As others have said, there will be all the real dangers of living in London that everyone else has to deal with on a daily basis.

But, given where she will be living, her daily commute will be a three minute walk and there are plenty of supermarkets nearby. There are a couple of Waitroses and a Tesco Metro nearby as well as smaller shops.

I don’t know if someone has suggested it OP but if you’re on Facebook then look for a UCL parents page. I joined one when our DD went to her uni and it was invaluable throughout her time there.

You are not being unreasonable purely because you are entitled to feel how you feel. I think you know that a lot of this is routed in your own experience.

You sound absolutely lovely. Your GD has done so well. I'm sure that's from your amazing support, you've given her the confidence to go for this. It's testament really, like she knows she can be so far away and still have your support.

I'm in Northern England. No real experience of London. I'd just be really upfront and say you don't know how things are done in London but you are keen to support her. And once she's there a while any little things she thinks she could do with, just to ask.

Best wishes to you all.

Your GD sounds wonderful and I’m
sure she will have a fabulous time.
As far as clothes / fashion - my just turned 19 year old likes Hollister clothes - wide leg jeans, pretty tops and slouchy jumpers. Longchamp Le Pilage bags are a favourite of this age group. For footwear - NB or adidas trainers, black knee high boots and DM’s
are all very popular. Good luck to her

My daughter went to university in London and loved it. She went straight after Covid and had never even been to a nightclub before so I was worried but I needn’t have. A local library will be good if she likes books but can’t keep them all, as are charity shops and vinted for clothes. My daughter joined OTC as a club and loved it and the social life was great and joining the tennis society will be fantastic. The opportunity to go to Wimbledon and Queens in the evenings (or even work there) would be fabulous for her - Wimbledon ballot for tickets is already open. But just turning up and going in the evening for return tickets is great fun too. I wish her so much luck and congratulations to her on a place at such a great university and gutsy of her to make the decision to go to London and experience everything that it has to offer. Also lots of sights “what’s free in London” type of thing and theatres offer discount for students.

I mean, she can get one after a month or so if she finds she needs one. But I wouldn’t splash out on an annual one just yet, in case she doesn’t really use it.

So would I, but honestly if she is in halls at UCL she is central enough to just walk or cycle most places. I probably wouldn’t get an Oyster card (I don’t have one and I live in zone 2).

What a lovely positive thread, so nice to see a properly supportive discussion. Congratulations OP, you must be so proud.

I’d feel safer on public transport in central London late at night than in an Uber, black cabs are easy to hail on the street.

Do not reveal which uni your gd is attending on here. There is enough information for her to be identified.

people should know better than to ask.

Of course you’re bound to be worried but you clearly have an amazing girl who will do spectacular things.
She’s going to fly high. Imagine how proud her mum would have been of you both.

I'm sure your gd will be absolutely fin but your post is incredibly outing.

I'd ask for it to be removed once you have the answers you are looking for. There aren't going to be many Scottish girls studying French and German at UCL.

Check this out OP for ideas - https://www.unikitout.com/ then order from Argos or Amazon if you want cheaper!

clothes wise, I wouldn’t buy too much and give her money to go shopping. She might want to see what the style is down here :)

And don’t worry!