Page 2 | Don’t want Dh to start getting home from work earlier

Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays · 2025-09-03T15:08:55+00:00

Dh used to get home from work around 6 onwards, in summer they’ve been going into work earlier and arriving home earlier at 4.30, due to the heat. They’ve all decided they prefer this at his workplace and will stick with these hours. I pick Dd, 6 up from school and am home for 3.30, I really used to enjoy this time for just us, we’d have a snack and cuddle up together on the sofa, read books, watch tv and chat, we’d then maybe play for a bit, take the dog for a walk, then i’d get dinner ready later. It just takes this away with Dh arriving not long after, changes the dynamic At weekends we’re all home and also she’s at friends houses or has friends around Aibu to be sad at missing this quiet time just for us?

Original poster

Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays · 05/09/2025 19:24

*Same situation

OP posts:

Original poster

Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays · 05/09/2025 19:24

Leilaandtheloggerheads · 05/09/2025 13:33

How horribly selfish.

Baffles me why people seem to think it’s the norm to resent your partner being around. Why marry and share a life with someone you would rather not even spend time with 🤣 or wishing they’d stay out at work longer and not being pleased for them to get more time back in an evening after work.

I’d love it if my DP could always be home by 4:30.

Not everyone is in the situation as you 👍 many people are not, why the laughing faces? I’m
sure many didn’t marry or get into family type relationships thinking that, try to have some empathy and maybe open your mind to the fact not everyone may have the perfect, little cosy situation and incredible man that you do

OP posts:

Parker231 · 05/09/2025 14:40

Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays · 03/09/2025 22:28

Yes…? I am, what does have control have to do with it? I just liked the one on one time, the reading and chatting, with friends over or her dad back, it’s not like that

Show quote history

When does your DH have his special time with his DD without you being around?

ThatDaringEagle · 05/09/2025 13:34

eastegg · 05/09/2025 13:28

Except literally no-one is saying anything remotely like that.

Show quote history

I dunno, the OP is saying something not far from it if you read her posts imho.... she clearly resents her DH getting home earlier, & upsetting 'her time' with her dd....

Leilaandtheloggerheads · 05/09/2025 13:33

How horribly selfish.

Baffles me why people seem to think it’s the norm to resent your partner being around. Why marry and share a life with someone you would rather not even spend time with 🤣 or wishing they’d stay out at work longer and not being pleased for them to get more time back in an evening after work.

I’d love it if my DP could always be home by 4:30.

eastegg · 05/09/2025 13:28

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 03/09/2025 16:29

I know! How awful!!! LTB!!!

Show quote history

Except literally no-one is saying anything remotely like that.

sittingonabeach · 05/09/2025 09:01

I think it is quite sad that a number of posters are trying to find ways that a dad shouldn’t be having time with his DD. If this was a mum getting home earlier in the day would your responses be the same.

Blablibladirladada · 05/09/2025 07:16

Your dh might be tired after work and enjoy some me time?
that certainly looks like something easy to fix…

Aquickturn · 05/09/2025 06:17

whitewineandsun · 04/09/2025 22:19

She won't tell. Much more mysterious this way. Or something. Weird thread at this point.

Show quote history

It is, isn’t it.

The OP doesn’t want her husband around, and it clearly has little to do with having alone time with her daughter.

whitewineandsun · 04/09/2025 22:19

Katheclepto · 04/09/2025 20:29

Is your DH annoying then? If so, what does he do?

Show quote history

She won't tell. Much more mysterious this way. Or something. Weird thread at this point.

Neversaynever2893 · 04/09/2025 21:50

I love it when my DH comes home early from work and so do our DC. Stops them asking me where dad is 67 times after school too 🤣

Katheclepto · 04/09/2025 20:29

Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays · 03/09/2025 22:08

You must be one of the lucky ones 💓

Show quote history

Is your DH annoying then? If so, what does he do?

BuildbyNumbere · 04/09/2025 19:44

Why can’t you continue that? DH may want to do his own thing anyway …

Trabbling · 04/09/2025 17:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sittingonabeach · 04/09/2025 17:21

Thing is @Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays your opening posts did seem very selfish as if you didn't want DH having special time with DD. Your latter posts seem to infer that your DH is a bit crap when it comes to family. So it might be easier if you di give more detail in respect of that.

I understand it is hard when things change and DC get older and friends etc become more and more important (DS off to university so we are in massive change mode here!) But if when he was younger DH had more time in the afternoon to spend with DS, although I would miss my 1:1 time with DS I wouldn't begrudge DH having time with him. But there seem to be deeper issues here with you

MelliC · 04/09/2025 17:19

Why don't you suggest that you both use that time to go the gym/swim/whatever you want to do twice a week and then go do something all together on the other day That way you both get a bit of 1 on 1 time with your son, you end up happier and healthier and still do an extra something as a family.

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 04/09/2025 17:15

Yanbu to feel sad about it but you can’t really do anything about it.
I get it as my husband had a hobby which meant he wasn’t home one evening a week and those evenings me and my youngest used to snuggle up and watch her old childhood favourite films together. He’s given up the hobby now so we don’t get to do it anymore and I miss it!

Original poster

Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays · 04/09/2025 17:04

Nanny0gg · 04/09/2025 17:00

Please stop trying to justify your feelings.

You will always get posters that absolutely refuse to see a perfectly reasonable post

Show quote history

You’re right I shouldn’t, thank you 🙏

OP posts:

Original poster

Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays · 04/09/2025 17:03

ReadingTime · 04/09/2025 16:47

Maybe start planting ideas of all the interesting hobbies he could take up for a few hours after work? Buy a joint gym membership and take turns going? I get it OP, I hope you can work something out.

Thank you 🙏

OP posts:

Ddakji · 04/09/2025 17:01

Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays · 04/09/2025 16:35

Wow

Show quote history

Why don’t you stop making these one word answers and actually provide some detail. Otherwise get the thread deleted as you’re just wasting people’s time.

Nanny0gg · 04/09/2025 17:00

Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays · 04/09/2025 13:06

Her friend is here playing as they often are weekends and holidays as I previously said

Show quote history

Please stop trying to justify your feelings.

You will always get posters that absolutely refuse to see a perfectly reasonable post

ReadingTime · 04/09/2025 16:47

Maybe start planting ideas of all the interesting hobbies he could take up for a few hours after work? Buy a joint gym membership and take turns going? I get it OP, I hope you can work something out.

Original poster

Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays · 04/09/2025 16:35

ThatDaringEagle · 04/09/2025 16:27

It all reads a bit like that sadly, doesn't it?

I totally understand that she had this nice routine with her daughter previously, that she now feels is a bit disrupted by her DH arriving home earlier from work than he used to.

However, I totally do not understand why she can't simply ask her DH to leave them be say 2 afternoons a week, say, &/or that she can't adapt the routine to include some daughter dad time into the new routine, etc, etc, etc.

Sorry the OP is coming across as selfish & self centred, and doesn't seem to think including her DH & the father of her daughter in spending special time (I.e more family time) with his daughter, is just as important as her spending time with her, in her previous, so, so precious routine. This is both very wrong & very sad imho.

I feel kinda sorry for you OP, that you can't seemingly be a more inclusive parent & put your DC's needs ahead of yours more often. Sad.

Edited

Show quote history

Wow

OP posts:

ThatDaringEagle · 04/09/2025 16:27

Coffeetime25 · 04/09/2025 16:09

so why are you staying with this poor guy if you don't want him around you or your child
do you just see him as sperm donor bill payer and cash machine or something

Edited

It all reads a bit like that sadly, doesn't it?

I totally understand that she had this nice routine with her daughter previously, that she now feels is a bit disrupted by her DH arriving home earlier from work than he used to.

However, I totally do not understand why she can't simply ask her DH to leave them be say 2 afternoons a week, say, &/or that she can't adapt the routine to include some daughter dad time into the new routine, etc, etc, etc.

Sorry the OP is coming across as selfish & self centred, and doesn't seem to think including her DH & the father of her daughter in spending special time (I.e more family time) with his daughter, is just as important as her spending time with her, in her previous, so, so precious routine. This is both very wrong & very sad imho.

I feel kinda sorry for you OP, that you can't seemingly be a more inclusive parent & put your DC's needs ahead of yours more often. Sad.

Coffeetime25 · 04/09/2025 16:09

so why are you staying with this poor guy if you don't want him around you or your child
do you just see him as sperm donor bill payer and cash machine or something