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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you be angry at this? Someone calm me down

161 replies

Autumnscoming1 · 03/09/2025 12:25

So I have some concerns about my DS’s health, I have done an e-consult to the GP awaiting a reply. So over the holidays i’ve been noticing frequent urination, thirst during the night, getting up to pee during the night which he never used to, verrucas on his feet that wont budge and nausea. I am concerned about diabetes. I have been working alot over the summer and have told relevant babysitters of my concerns. I informed MIL to cut back on sweets/cakes/no fizzy drinks etc, which in all fairness she seemed very concerned and said “yes well youll have to watch his diet” I went to pick DS up after work yesterday, to see a bottle of fanta in front of him, 2 large slabs of cake on his plate, and MIL forcing another one down him! I reminded her of our conversation and her response was “he will have what he likes here!” I have had a number of conversations with her before this about the amount of cakes/pop etc she gives them, she agrees to my face, but I always turn up to find fizzy drinks/ sweets in excess in front of DS! I am fairly laid back about this sort of thing, fizzy drinks is a treat only and sweet stuff all in moderation. I feel so angry at mil for disregarding DS’s health. Luckily DS is back in school so no need to be in MIL’s care.

OP posts:
Squishymallows · 03/09/2025 12:55

She sounds like a nightmare, I would be going low contact. Fuck that, how rude to disrespect your parenting decisions

ComfortFoodCafe · 03/09/2025 12:53

If it was diabetes type one & his sugars were high (like those symptoms) hed of gone into dka by now which requires immediate hospital admission so not sure it could be type one, however buy a glucometer & some strips doesnt cost much and test him rather than waiting.

thebabayaga · 03/09/2025 12:45

Free child care is never free, as they say on mumsnet. She must not be allowed to babysit your child again or be left with him unsupervised.

jonthebatiste · 03/09/2025 12:39

Well she sees it as her job to spoil him and make him happy and have him love her. She sees it as your job to do all the work bits: hence why she said you would have to watch his diet. She has no intention of doing any of the work or anything that can prevent her from spoiling him/giving him what he wants. So, at least you know where she stands.

There's really no other solution: if she insists on damaging his health, she can’t be in sole charge of him. You’ll have to find alternative childcare. Wait for the diagnosis and take it from there.

Meadowfinch · 03/09/2025 12:35

YANBU. For a child with suspected diabetes - what is she trying to do? Kill him? Children that young shouldn't be having any fizzy drinks at all.

Don't leave him in her care again until you have an answer re: his general health, and even then, I wouldn't trust her. She's ignorant and dishonest.

Pancakeflipper · 03/09/2025 12:34

I'd be annoyed if MIL agreed to it but then disregarded your wishes.

She'll probably lose out long term because you are less likely to trust her looking after your son again.

HelloGreen · 03/09/2025 12:34

I reminded her of our conversation and her response was “he will have what he likes here!”
At this point I would have said “then he’s not coming back here without us” (except I’d have got DP as she’s not my mum).

Autumnscoming1 · 03/09/2025 12:31

Bogpinkbear · 03/09/2025 12:27

Get a glucose testing strip and test him or book with the nurse for a test. You might even be able to get that done at a pharmacy.

As to the rest, it’s a non-issue now so I’d let it go until you find out where you stand re diabetes.

Thank you :) due a call back today

OP posts:
Coldnightsapproachingwhereismyduvet · 03/09/2025 12:29

Tell mil she won't be watching him again as you need to monitor his diet and she won't do that.
And don't feel bad for saying it. A fat dc with health issues isn't ideal. If it's preventable why wouldn't you do your best?
My mil told me our vegetarian dc would eat meat at her house when she had them.
So she never had them. Not until we divorced did they eat more than a biscuit there... While I was there also. Never went without me.

Bogpinkbear · 03/09/2025 12:27

Get a glucose testing strip and test him or book with the nurse for a test. You might even be able to get that done at a pharmacy.

As to the rest, it’s a non-issue now so I’d let it go until you find out where you stand re diabetes.

Autumnscoming1 · 03/09/2025 12:27

This might not read very well, I just needed a rant, sorry.

OP posts: