Would you be angry at this? Someone calm me down

But if you have time to let babysitters know and presumably drop them off at said babysitters on several different occasions then why would you not take your child to be seen? You don't just think "oh I wonder if that's diabetes? I better not give him much sugar" and then go about your daily life for several weeks. Or a quick Google would tell you not to anyway. People are being berated for "not reading the thread" but even with reading the thread she absolutely should have taken her son to be seen as a matter of urgency. Mil giving him cake is pretty irrelevant.

I hear everything you are saying. You have made your parenting wishes clear, no sweet stuff, no junk food, cakes, rubbish drinks etc. The trouble with grandparents is that they like to spoil their grandchildren, they didn't have the time or perhaps the option or money to give their children "treats". We older generation (I count myself in this group) didn't have many so called treats, it was all made by the stay at home mum who cooked from scratch so we were very healthy. The idea that "another biscuit won't do any harm" is a difficult one to deal with. I will now ask you some difficult questions: is your child fat? do you cook from scratch? do you ensure that your child's diet is full of fruit, veg, lean protein? If so, your MIL cannot do much damage. I agree with other posters that you can buy sticks to test the sugar in your child's urine, which will give you an indication if he/she has too much sugar. If it is clear that this is the case, then you can ask the doctor and nutritionist to help. If need be, print off diabetic information for your MIL and show her the sticks to prove your point. You can also print off the worst case scenario for MIL about losing sight, losing a leg, diabetic ulcers etc. However, FIRST get your diagnosis as to what the cause is. I'd be pleased to know what the outcome of the tests are.

If you read her posts it wasn't sudden onset - it was gradual symptoms and some mirrored normal reactions to hot weather. There's no need to be so cutting, I am sure OP is distressed enough as it is. People are so quick to throw stones.

Yes I’d be annoyed at MIL, what is she thinking?
Hope the tests turn out to be nothing - good luck!

This.

No, she's right. Having time to notify relevant babysitters but not rush your child to A&E is negligent.

Read her posts and wind your neck in.

The reason people are saying op hasn't done anything is because her op made it sound like this had been going on most of the summer, so weeks. Plus type 1 diabetes developing in a child is a medical emergency, not a "oh I'll do an e-consult and wait for them to get back to me" it's an A&E or GP within the hour type situation.

Also I'm struggling to believe that mil genuinely had 3 slabs of cake that she was trying to force down your child's neck, was he not just eating a piece of cake?

YANBU, I think our family should respect our wishes when it comes to our children who need our protection. I would be particularly concerned that IF he is diagnosed with diabetes, whether you MIL will respect that, and feed him accordingly when he is at her house and not this 'he will eat what he likes at my house' attitude.

I am so sorry .. another mother in law (I am twice a MIL ❤️) giving us a bad name 🤨
That is absolutely disgusting and also of course extremely dangerous seeing as you are not knowing atm what is happening for your son.
if this lady cannot not even feel a smidgen of concern then she has no buisness being around him ..
please set your boundaries now this has happened .. this not unreasonable at all and totally urgent.
If my grandsons were in the same position I would be totally cautious without question .. my dear lat maternal uncle was diabetic and his grandson is . Type 1 … Good luck 🤞.. you are not in the wrong at all !

I think OP is confusing the two types of diabetes.

If he has type 1, eating cakes will not make him more likely to develop it. He either has it or not . Sometimes onset is slow ( over months ) or can be fast ( over a weekend , triggered by a virus etc.)

Type 2 is the adult type of diabetes , caused in most cases by poor lifestyle choices . In this case stuffing the person with sugary carbs would be unwise .

Hope your son is ok, OP but you are conflating two unrelated issues.

I would acho those saying don't let him stay again or leave him unattended

Medical things are important.
Since my DSIL swore blind my DS wasn't allergic to fish and I was lying as he had fish fingers at her house, I've never let him back there without me. This happened when he was 8. He's now 17. Apparently he was at her house and she served him them up with chips and he didn't eat them. He was really upset as he went without dinner because he knew full well he would go into anaphylaxis of he did. So he didn't eat them and DD ate them instead as both said they thought she would be cross.

Take food issues seriously. It will send mixed messages to your DS otherwise.

Why is the child not receiving a medical diagnosis and care? Diabetes is a serious condition and needs to be managed correctly. What’s an e consult? I think I would be pushing for something more.

@Autumnscoming1 I hope all went well with your appointment and your DS is just reacting to the heat.

Your MIL needs to tone down the sweets. Being a grandma is wonderful, but it does come with some responsibilities. She needs to learn that.

Haven’t read thread but assuming it’s a young DS the concern you want to rule out would very likely be type 1 diabetes rather than type 2 - the one that people assume you get from eating cakes.

I hope he's ok.

As a grandma of 4 I always stick to the mums rules as my own mum did when she looked after mine. Especially where health and safety is concerned. You can suitably spoil them in other ways

Agree, if she won’t or refuses to take direction from the mother of the child regarding the child’s well-being then she shouldn’t be allowed to spend alone time with them, she does not have the child’s best interest at heart.

Autumnscoming1 · Yesterday 12:25

I am concerned about diabetes. I have been working alot over the summer and have told relevant babysitters of my concerns.

But not bothered to get him tested until now? This is negligence.

This sounds like diabetes insipidus and not your run of the mill diabetes (glucose).I would push for an appointment with an endocrinologist and see if there are any other symptoms.

You can buy urine test strips from eBay, Amazon and some pharmacies.

Good luck OP, i hope it's not diabetes.

My MIL is for urgent requirements only. That way I can't get too bothered about the disregard of my parenting choices.

@Autumnscoming1 I'd be hacked off about this as well. I had similar experiences with a relative and school after letting them know that I was trying to help our child cut back in sugar due to health and behaviour concerns. Discuss with husband and find a way to avoid leaving child alone with MIL. It may mean arranging alternative care in the holidays but it will be worth it because your MIL has made it clear they will not support you in trying to prevent ill-health and protect or improve your child's health but apart from that, I don't see what else you can do.

I hope your ds is ok OP. Is he back from GP yet?

I would say though it seems bizarre to change your child's diet ( strictly enough that you expect everyone looking after him to keep to it at all times, not just a general move to being more healthy at home) weeks or months before you seek medical advice about whether that even is the issue? I know you say you were concerned only in last few days, but then why did you tell them to change diet earlier in summer. I can see why your mil is no longer taking it that seriously if you didn't follow up on it.

Also, in a child my understanding is that it's far more likely to be type 1, on which case what he's eating won't make much difference to it, insulin would be the only answer. My dad is type 1 and eats what he likes within reason, he just has to alter his insulin accordingly.

If he had diabetes he need tested and it would be type 1 at his age- an autoimmune condition. You need to take him urgently.