To feel like an outcast because my child is the only child who doesn't go to nursery school all day :(

If it helps you feel any better, I too have a 3.5 year old in nursery and I have no idea what you're on about re funding. So, I'm sure a lot of the other parents also have no idea and only know about the funding that applies to them.

Also if they're all picking their kids up at the end of the day then they won't see you picking yours up at lunchtime so will be unaware. I don't know most of the parents at my kid's nursery, or what days they do or when they're picked up. I rarely see another parent at pickup as we all go at different times.

You might feel that right now you're the only one who is a single parent and your DD is the only child with a single parent but trust me, as your DD grows up, the number of her peers in the same situation will be significantly higher and you won't feel so unusual.

No, sadly it reads that the OP is mentally unwell, and needs support for her anxiety and paranoia.

Isn’t what you’ve got the ideal? I changed jobs so my kids never had to go full time to nursery. They just did between 6-15 hours at preschool. And never went for more than a morning or afternoon. That was what I wanted for them! It was great we had loads of nice days out and toddler groups and classes together.

This.

You’ve outlined your real issues here: “Im not OK really, I feel crazy and paranoid and terrified of changes.”

Please get help and support to address these, rather than focussing on the symptom of being irrationally worried about the situation with your daughter - something literally no one else will care about.

This reads a bit stealth boasty or maybe it's a reverse? Not sure if you mean it like that, but its how it reads. Enjoy your time with your little one, no one else really matters xx

It was awful seeing kids at 3ish desperately bored and tired waiting till 6pm to be picked up when I picked mine at 3. there was one boy who would occasionally ask to go home with me when I picked DC up. DCs did only a few days and then went on to reception. Consider yourself lucky and privileged that you’re able to take your little one earlier because I’m sure the other parents who have no choice but to leave their LO till 6 would love to be in a position of taking them earlier.

In that case you completely missed the point of all those comments, which was to reassure the op that this isn’t something to worry about. Very helpful when someone is having irrational worries.

As you said @rainbowprincesschapell you know your reaction is unreasonable. It sounds like you’re projecting how you feel about yourself onto others and assuming that’s how they feel about you. I promise, no one cares. Everyone’s too wrapped up in their own lives to notice! I’m a single mum on universal credit too, my DD only went to nursery 2 days a week, I had no idea how many days the other kids went/what their circumstances were and I never cared. Everyone has different circumstances and they do what works best for them. I worked 3 days a week (one day she was with her dad) and loved spending the other days with her. You never get that time back and I’d never have had it any different. It never occurred to me that people would judge me and even if they did I couldn’t care less, my daughter and I were happy and that’s all that matters. She’s at school now and I miss her!

Sorry I don't have time to look it up just now but I'm sure I've seen research previously suggesting that part time 'formal education' (e.g. nursery) can be better than full time for young children, assuming all's well at home and they're not just sitting in front of screens when not in nursery.
My DC only did 2 days at nursery (my choice, didn't want them in full time and could manage childcare-wise not to) and staff recently joked they'd be ready to take GCSEs by the end of reception as they're doing so well. It sounds as though you're doing an amazing job and providing a great balance.

It's great that your daughter spends more time with you rather than being in n nursery all day

I bet plenty of the other parents envy the precious time you get to spend with her.

Why do you think that people spend that much time thinking ot you or your child? it seems a bit narcissistic is what I think when people go down the 'i am being judged' route, and if floods of tears is genuine than I think you really do help with this

I think you’re doing a great job and as long as you and your child are happy, that’s all that matters 🥰

To those who felt the need to write snarky/ rude comments that weren’t helpful to a woman who needed kindness and reassurance, I’ll say to you what I’m teaching my children - Always Choose Kindness.

Mate. I don’t even know what the 30 hour rule is. Nor the 15. I would make absolutely zero judgement on anyone picking up their kids at lunchtime.

This is really odd, OP, and I can only imagine is a reflection of your feelings about yourself more generally. Lots of people would consider your set up the ideal. Literally no one will be judging you.

Might be worth having a chat with a friend about how you're feeling generally or even your GPO if things are getting on top of you. It's not a rational reaction.

I mean, you can get a job and claim the 30 hours too if you want? No one is stopping you.

Nobody else cares how long your child attends nursery, what a strange thing to worry about.

Sounds like you are looking for things to worry about. This is not one of them. Who would put a 'label' on you or your child anyway? The other kids certainly won't & there won't be any other parents there when you collect anyway so they're not going to 'label' you. Anyone else who does look down their nose at you for some bizarre reason isn't worth your energy

Honestly OP, most parents seem have their children in part time. It may just be that they go for 2 or 3 full days rather than half days. A WhatsApp group has been started for my youngest's nursery class, and it feels as though most of the mums are co-ordinating their days off to meet in the park and whatnot, whilst my friend and I sit silently ignored, as we have full time jobs and therefore full time childcare. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

This was my first thought too. Everyone else sticks their kids in all day but you don't want to do that and spend lovely afternoons doing enriching activities. Congrats.

My 3 at that age only ever did two half days per week and that was very much the norm for most and it worked really well for us.

Please try not to even think about what others are doing - if it suits you and your child, that is all that matters.

I don’t get it. My 3 year old is home full time and she is thriving. Nobody has ever been rude to me about this choice, even though I know it’s not a choice most people would.

Do you believe your child is thriving? That is really all that matters.