To think not all women are “natural mothers” and some regret it but can’t say out loud?

I think some women are better with different stages of parenthood. I found the young years quite hard going. I prefer the tweens and teens we're experiencing at the moment.

It's a biological urge, there is nothing logical about it. If it were "optional," none of us would do it.

There are a few immortals walking amongst us, who appear to simply brush off pregnancy and birth as nothing more than an afterthought. Their body pings back into shape almost immediately, and they breeze through the baby/toddler years. But for the other 99% of us, having children wrecks our bodies, destroys our relationships and decimates our careers.

Yet for some reason, we still do it.

Admittedly, far fewer of us are doing it, but you get the idea.

I think plenty of women don’t find motherhood particularly fun or fulfilling, despite loving their children - and some find this out greatly to their surprise after having much-wanted children. I don’t think this uncommon or a particularly taboo subject.

The ones I’m baffled by are the women who have children without thinking at all beforehand about whether they actually want to be parents.

I have met a fair few women who can’t stand being around children, and don’t particularly feel broody, and are overwhelmed by the responsibility of having a houseplant or a pet goldfish, and have a very low tolerance for change / mess / uncertainty / noise, and need a LOT of time to themselves - but they had a fixed life plan that involved having children by age X, and they execute the plan, and they absolutely hate it and very often suffer serious mental health crises. And nobody who knew them at all is very surprised.

But for a lot of people who are like this, it doesn’t seem possible to imagine themselves into the future and think about what the experience of parenting would actually be like.

You're not really saying anything novel here.

Just 3 BBC articles from the last decade:

https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-38145118.amp

https://www.bbc.com/news/education-43555736.amp

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20221111-what-is-maternal-ambivalence-and-why-it-matters

My SIL - loved the idea of being a mum but she doesn't enjoy it.

I don’t think that’s been the case for a while. Plenty of women admit it was a mistake and they regret motherhood, their children and motherhood or not their children but what being a parent actually means. I know a couple of them, it’s in articles, on forums like this, on tv, on the radio, there are books about it.

You’re far more likely to be vilified for admitting it’s easier than you thought and you love everything about your kids and being a mum. You’ll be called smug and boring. Few people will be happy for you.

Say it’s all a massive nightmare, they drive you crazy, you miss the freedom, #wineoclock etc and people are sympathetic and understanding.

I will say it, I’m a mum, not a natural one and I regret it sometimes and I am very open with this too