Page 4 | Shitty message aimed at me in school WhatsApp group chat

Minnie798 · 02/09/2025 18:22

I can't stand people who do things like this so publicly. Intentionally trying to humiliate others on social media/ what's app groups ( especially a school parents one).
If it's any consolation, I'd read something like that and wonder what on earth she was playing at. Tagging you and another mum, it was just malicious and she could have told you both about this privately at school drop off. But only an announcement would do apparently.

BotterMon · 02/09/2025 18:22

You all sound as bad as each other.

Digdongdoo · 02/09/2025 18:21

Dannii93 · 02/09/2025 18:19

Bloody hell I wish I never made the single Mum comment now! There’s nothing wrong with that, I respect people for leaving abusive situations. Obviously in some instances where that isn’t the reason then it’s just sad because it is the kids who are penalised by a broken home. Luckily I have picked wisely (so far!) with DH.

It’s fairly rare he does the school run given he’s often on business internationally with his position at a FTSE 100 firm, in hindsight I wish he was today!

Lol OK. FTSE 100 or not, he's a twat and you're horribly judgemental. You're obviously as bad as each other, not so much picked wisely as birds of a feather.

Quackedout · 02/09/2025 18:21

Dannii93 · 02/09/2025 18:19

Bloody hell I wish I never made the single Mum comment now! There’s nothing wrong with that, I respect people for leaving abusive situations. Obviously in some instances where that isn’t the reason then it’s just sad because it is the kids who are penalised by a broken home. Luckily I have picked wisely (so far!) with DH.

It’s fairly rare he does the school run given he’s often on business internationally with his position at a FTSE 100 firm, in hindsight I wish he was today!

@Dannii93 I think you're digging yourself a hole here, your husband sounds guilty as charged. And you slate single mums, and now adding hes a bigwig anyway

Stowawaysue · 02/09/2025 18:21

Dannii93 · 02/09/2025 18:19

Bloody hell I wish I never made the single Mum comment now! There’s nothing wrong with that, I respect people for leaving abusive situations. Obviously in some instances where that isn’t the reason then it’s just sad because it is the kids who are penalised by a broken home. Luckily I have picked wisely (so far!) with DH.

It’s fairly rare he does the school run given he’s often on business internationally with his position at a FTSE 100 firm, in hindsight I wish he was today!

but you did make it op
and it speaks volumes about you
and all the other detail - well it just confirms how trashy all this sounds.

Whosunreasonable · 02/09/2025 18:21

Dannii93 · 02/09/2025 17:52

I’ve been working today so my DH did the pick up.

I received a notification that I’d been tagged in the school Mum’s WhatsApp group. For transparency, I’ve copied it here:

“@(me) and @(another Mum) if your husbands want to comment on Miss X’s TITS then I suggest they do so when other parents are not in earshot!!!”

The other Mum saw this before I did and replied to say she had no idea what she is on about but would have appreciated a message privately.

The reply:

“I think you need to reflect on what type of men you have settled for as they are disgusting!”

Anyway, I sent on to DH to ask what on earth happened. He said a Dad he was stood waiting with asked him if he had seen our DS’s new teacher. DH said no as he didn’t do the morning drop off. The Dad basically replied something along the lines of you’ll be in for a treat as she has massive tits and before DH could reply, a Mum who overheard (not the one who sent the messages above) snapped at him to shut up.

AIBU to find the Mum completely out of order to have sent those messages? She has an absolute cheek to say what she has about me needing to ‘reflect’ and it’s rich coming from someone who is a single bloody Mum herself!

What has her being a single mum got to do with anything?
Bit judgemental don't you think???

SeagullSam2027 · 02/09/2025 18:21

Luckily I have picked wisely (so far!) with DH.

Others may disagree.

Rhaidimiddim · 02/09/2025 18:21

namechangedforvalidreasons · 02/09/2025 17:53

Was right with ya til the final line. Is this a wind-up?

Thecsame. What has being a single mum got to do with the issue.
And good on her for telling the sexist bloke off - I'd be wanting to shake her hand.
The WhatsApp messages though - a bit OTT.

SemperIdem · 02/09/2025 18:20

Dannii93 · 02/09/2025 18:19

Bloody hell I wish I never made the single Mum comment now! There’s nothing wrong with that, I respect people for leaving abusive situations. Obviously in some instances where that isn’t the reason then it’s just sad because it is the kids who are penalised by a broken home. Luckily I have picked wisely (so far!) with DH.

It’s fairly rare he does the school run given he’s often on business internationally with his position at a FTSE 100 firm, in hindsight I wish he was today!

Working for a FTSE 100 doesn’t make your husband immune from being an arsehole. HTH

childofthe607080s · 02/09/2025 18:20

You just reply - yes DH thought it was rather unpleasant too ?

Original poster

Dannii93 · 02/09/2025 18:19

Bloody hell I wish I never made the single Mum comment now! There’s nothing wrong with that, I respect people for leaving abusive situations. Obviously in some instances where that isn’t the reason then it’s just sad because it is the kids who are penalised by a broken home. Luckily I have picked wisely (so far!) with DH.

It’s fairly rare he does the school run given he’s often on business internationally with his position at a FTSE 100 firm, in hindsight I wish he was today!

OP posts:

SaladAndChipsForTea · 02/09/2025 18:19

Dannii93 · 02/09/2025 18:08

My DH would never, he isn’t that sort of man.

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Not my Nigel.

Laura95167 · 02/09/2025 18:19

I think it was wrong to call YOU out publicly for someone else's behaviour hes your DH not your naughty dog. If she wanted to make a public comment she should have dont that to the men at the time once the children were inside

But I bet your DH was not an innocent bystander who got interrupted before he could tell his dad mate that its inappropriate to perv on the teachers. I bet the other woman's DH told a similar tale about how he was the innocent bystander.

As for what you do, id ignore her. This way if handling it doesnt show her in a great light either. Suggest your DH avoids this other dad in future. You OP are the only one who has my sympathies

MemorableTrenchcoat · 02/09/2025 18:19

heroinechic · 02/09/2025 18:11

I didn’t vote because whilst I think she was being unreasonable to not message privately, she really isn’t being unreasonable to be irritated by the pervs at the school gate.

Re your comment about her being a single mum, perhaps she reflected on her choice and realised that he fell below her standards?

I’d be pretty embarrassed if my DH was engaged in a conversation like that tbh.

But he wasn't engaged in such a conversation. Someone made an unsolicited comment to him. What is there to be embarrassed about?

7372RR · 02/09/2025 18:19

My DH was an innocent bystander

😂😂😂 oh you sad, little, duped wifey

spoonbillstretford · 02/09/2025 18:18

Even if I thought any of that, saying it in a group chat to someone you think is a bit rough sounds like a recipe for a dry slap at pick up time.

SemperIdem · 02/09/2025 18:18

Dannii93 · 02/09/2025 18:16

The comment was clearly inappropriate but some of the stuff I’ve heard Mum’s say about male teachers go way beyond that, so let’s not pretend it doesn’t go on.

My DH was an innocent bystander and I didn’t deserve to be lectured from someone like her.

I’ve never heard women making comments about male teachers at pick up or drop off, actually. So perhaps it’s just the sort of circle you mix in at the gates.

BuckChuckets · 02/09/2025 18:18

Dannii93 · 02/09/2025 18:05

He is alive. And as my DH put it when I got home she’s probably bitter she can’t get any one else so gets her kicks out of pulling stunts like this!

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Sounds like your DH did make a grim comment about the teacher's tits - he obviously has form.

CherrieTomaties · 02/09/2025 18:18

Dannii93 · 02/09/2025 18:16

The comment was clearly inappropriate but some of the stuff I’ve heard Mum’s say about male teachers go way beyond that, so let’s not pretend it doesn’t go on.

My DH was an innocent bystander and I didn’t deserve to be lectured from someone like her.

Go and have a conversation with her then.

Instead of showing yourself up on Mumsnet ffs.

Cringey as fuck. God help your kids.

SeagullSam2027 · 02/09/2025 18:18

Dannii93 · 02/09/2025 18:05

He is alive. And as my DH put it when I got home she’s probably bitter she can’t get any one else so gets her kicks out of pulling stunts like this!

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You're comfortable being married to a man who speaks about women like this?

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 02/09/2025 18:17

Dannii93 · 02/09/2025 18:05

He is alive. And as my DH put it when I got home she’s probably bitter she can’t get any one else so gets her kicks out of pulling stunts like this!

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Or maybe she's got standards and that's why she's single! More power to her for refusing to put up with men's shite. Whether your DH was the one commenting on the teacher's body or not, you lost any of the high ground when you commented on her relationship status!

CeciliaDuckiePond · 02/09/2025 18:17

"Dear school mum

I am not my husband's keeper."

Stowawaysue · 02/09/2025 18:17

Sleazy DH I bet
Offensive, drama llama, unpleasant, screechy OP

Poor kids

SoftPillow · 02/09/2025 18:16

Not such a big margin now on the vote….

You are all behaving appallingly apart from the mum who tackled it in the playground.

The comments you have made about single women are revolting.

And your DH, as if we are meant to believe that out of the blue, with no preemptive similar conversation or comment, the other dad commented loudly on her body. And he didn’t get a chance to say a single thing back….

I pity your children, growing up surrounded by adults that show them this type of behaviour.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 02/09/2025 18:16

No3392 · 02/09/2025 17:54

Of course your husband is all wide eyed and innocent.

And that last line... You deserve each other.

Good for her calling out gross men.

Yep