To think the school could have cut DS some slack here

As PPs have said, it really depends on what was said and how it was said. Most teachers aren't monsters. It's far more likely she just asked him to do it in a different way, but for him, it was the straw that broke the camel's already anxious back! Just help him to see it's not a big deal and move on.

Is it his glue stick? As a teacher I'm minding my own business if a child is using their own equipment! Otherwise, I might gently suggest using it sparingly if they're going mad but honestly.. there's better battles to pick right at the beginning of term.

I agree with PP that if he had been masking really hard all morning, it have been 'the next thing' that tipped him over- so if it wasn't the glue stick it could easily have been something else. His teacher will get to know him and he will get to know the new class routines and it should get easier for them both.

I'd ask to meet the teacher to talk through his strategies. However, as a teacher, it doesn't matter how thorough handover is or how much paperwork you get, it still takes a little while to get in tune with a kid who is new to you.

Did the teacher actually tell him off?
Is his sensitivity to criticism in his plan?

I mean if the teacher was really angry with him, that isn't on, or if she should have clearly known that he would hate being corrected, then she should have be being very careful with how she criticised him. If she just told him how she expected it to be done, without knowing he would perceive it as a telling off, then she did NOTHING wrong.

She doesn’t know your child yet, she hasn’t seen the anxiety he has had for the past few weeks and she can’t see what he’s masking.
Even if she knows he’s autistic, as you know all autistic people are different (as is everyone else!) so as she doesn’t know him yet she had no way to know that such a simple thing might be so upsetting to him.

it would definitely be worth arranging a chat with her to help her understand your DC, so that she can support his individual needs and know his boundaries better. I’m sure the last thing she wants is to cause a meltdown over a glue stick!

Why do you think it’s unlikely that it was a school glue stick? I’ve got 3 at school and they’ve always provided glue sticks.

Glue sticks are horrendously expensive. We spent over £1000 on glue sticks last year. 1 class in particular went through 90 glue sticks by Xmas. Teacher was told to sort it and teach the children to use them sparingly or buy them out if their own pocket.

Well, it clearly was a school resource so how it’s used presumably does matter?

Little routines like how to use a glue stick (which are like gold dust by week 3), how to hang up your bag, how to tuck your chair in etc may seem like small things, but having them all done smoothly, by everyone, makes a world of difference when it's all added up.

If your DS was as anxious as you say about coming in then I suspect it could have been anything that set him off and this just happened to be it. Aim to work with the teacher instead of questioning what is a very reasonable rule. I'm sure she's trying her best too.

Teacher here. Glue sticks tend to run out for the year by around Easter and after that it’s a choice of no glue sticks or them picking out of my own pocket. Drives me nuts when kids mash glue all over their sheet and waste it! I would definitely be reminding them to go easy with it.

He wasn't 'told off', he was asked to do something in a different way. This is very likely to happen quite a lot so you need to work with him on strategies to realise the difference between this and being told off.

Utterly ridiculous of the teacher!

This. The answer would then impact my answer.

Was he told off, or just told to do it differently?

Most Autistic DC can't help having a meltdown, so you really can defend his reaction.
First week back can be stressful for all DC, but especially ND DC/those with additional needs.* *

The first day back is when teachers try to set expectations. If he'd been using the glue like this for 2 weeks and then she raised it, that could also have confused him so she's making the rules clear from the off. FWIW, it's not about preference, most teachers are now allocated a set number of glue sticks for the term and if they run out they have to replenish them out of their own pockets or manage without.

She didn't know that a quick note about using the glue stick was going to unravel him. I think you need to cut her some slack too.

Was he actually told off, or just told to do it differently?

Probably missing the point but why the hell does it matter how you glue something? Unless it was a school glue stick which is unlikely.
Your poor son teacher sounds a bit of a tyrant for no reason.

Oh bless him, that seems such a shame, and does it REALLY matter? I think I might be inclined to have a word with that teacher, if my DS was in this situation.

Was he told off or was he just asked to do it differently? I’m aware my own autistic child can’t always see the difference between these two things.