Teachers: do you find it hard? (high school toilets)

Sorry to add, I know teaching is a tough job (my mum just retired from it after 30 years) but it’s really not setting them up for the real world to deny them use of a toilet and in my opinion, increases the risk of rebellious behaviour because a bright kid won’t like being denied something so simple if genuinely needed once in a while. If little Darren is asking 17 times a lesson and comes back stinking of smoke or with a chocolate bar or whatever that’s different but it’s not fair to punish those with medical needs or even just genuine kids who might for whatever reason just need a pass once in a while. How does it prepare them for absolutely anything about the real world apart from doing whatever you’re told and getting UTI’s or bleeding through clothes. It’s ridiculous

The OP's DD is getting a toilet pass. The only issue is that the toilet pass hasn't come through yet.

OP I would email the school and ask that an email be sent out to all her teachers to say she should be allowed to go to the toilet while waiting for the physical pass.

This. Secondary school Teacher. I would never say no (unless blatantly obvious they are messing around) many schools monitor this on the register so they know who was out of class if an incident occurred.

I've told both of my girls, if they genuinely need the toilet( and not just trying to get out of class for a skive ) and the teacher doesn't allow it, they are to get up and go to the toilet. Teachers cannot physically stop them leaving the class and I will not be mad if I get a phone call from school to say they have left class. Its a basic human right and the teacher has no right to deny it if they genuinely need to go

Nah it’s mental. I have Crohn’s and there’s no way I’d have had to time to even ask at school if I had it when I was there. I did suffer migraines and once knew I was going to be sick, the teacher refused to let me leave until the bell rang at which point I vomited in front of scores of people in the hallway and collapsed, resulting in me being sent home and my Mum having to call out of work to come and get me when if they’d just let me go when I asked I probably could have powered through. Completely humiliating and dehumanising.

Bang on about a workplace never doing this, because it’s absolutely absurd.

It’s seems to be the norm in school now to refuse children access to the toilet. Our schools started back nearly 2 weeks ago now and my nephews friend has very heavy periods and was left bleeding through her clothes on her 2nd day and as a result is now being bullied about it. The toilets are locked except break and lunch so just being late to a lesson to go and get cleaned up wasn’t an option. He mum has now reported the school to the education board and is seriously considering moving her schools.

I left teaching 2 years ago and even though this was a rule at my school, most (not all) teachers used their professional judgement.

As a teacher and parent, I had very mixed feelings on it because of course, it is a human right but did some pupils take the absolute biscuit…100%. I had one class where everyone I set up a writing activity, there were always 3 boys that miraculously needed the toilet. Added to that the safeguarding risk that some pupils behaviour poses and the vandalism etc and it really is a minefield.

My school really cracked down on it in the last couple of years though to the point that SLT were monitoring which teachers were letting children out to go to the toilet. A member of SLT once came into my room, bright red in the face, absolutely mad, demanding to know why I’d let 12 children out of my lesson to go to the toilet…well, they all had toilet passes (that are SLT issued and the child has to be allowed to go) was my answer…don’t remember getting an apology for following the school policy.

How draconian. When I was at school we just announced that we were going to the toilet and off we went

I know a secondary school near us keeps ALL toilets locked except for break time.

to access the loo during a lesson first you need permission or a pass to get out of the class then you have to go to reception (large secondary school with sprawling campus so could be a good 5-10 min walk if you are at the top of the science block etc) to ask them to unlock a toilet . Wait for them to do so.

It is absolutely disgusting what they do to these children - as someone with a bowel condition if this was me at 13 I would have now soiled myself as there is no way on earth I could have waited that long. Let alone girls with periods or anyone with IBS etc…

I can’t believe it is legal. I do understand the difficulties with bullying and vandalism but I can’t believe in 2025 in the UK that children are being denied access to toilets.

the child I know that goes there won’t eat or drink at all in school as they don’t want to risk needing the toilet. They come home starving and thirsty .

It is awful .

I just don't understand how small children can be trusted to know when they need to urinate, or when they're too hot, but secondary school students are treated like robots.

Primary school children don't tend to meet up in the school toilets to vape whereas this is an absolutely common occurrence in secondaries. And vaping is the least of the things they get up to in the toilets.

Every year
Every school
Pretty much every parent

It's inhumane.
I have some awful stories from my own kids being put in those positions.
I just don't understand how small children can be trusted to know when they need to urinate, or when they're too hot, but secondary school students are treated like robots.

I'm sorry your child struggled. Complain hard!

In my long experience, in top sets kids rarely ask to go to the toilet, in bottom sets kids ask a lot - it's a behaviour thing far, far more than it's an actually needs the toilet thing. Vaping, meeting up with mates, or just fancying a break from the lesson.

My school allows teacher discretion so I'd have let a Y7 on their first day go without any issues. You get to know who the piss-takers are.

But it is a pain in the arse to manage. And if you let one kid go you can easily end up with "you let him go so it's not fair if you don't let me go" which can lead to a queue of kids waiting for one kid to return so the next can leave.

Showing my age now but in the 80s we were only allowed to go at morning break or lunch. I remember my period starting in maths one time and being glad my school skirt was dark. Not saying it’s right or wrong, just that it’s not new. During my working life I couldn’t always get to a toilet quickly so I suppose at least I was used to it.

Even if you let one child go, sometimes (often) they text to arrange a meet up with one child from another class. And yes lots of major safeguarding issues happen in loos during lessons. One school I did supply in had a team of 4 TAs just to supervise the loos all day every day. So even if a toilet pass child used them they were supervised. Big school and huge issues which took expensive staffing just to try and keeping top of issues.

Secondary teacher and HoY here.
The SENCO offered a toilet pass. I’d phone the school at 8.30 and ask a secretary to message the SENCO to phone you after briefing and before period 1. Without relaying your DD’s upset, what was discussed at your meeting or staff being alerted on inset day, very briefly say you’d appreciate the pass being issued before lessons begin tomorrow morning. Just get what you want in a calm manner and thank in anticipation. If you get no joy, do it again at lunch time.
At the beginning of the school year staff are getting to know students and establishing discipline with a year group who are not familiar with them. Teachers don’t know at that point who are the chancers.
Hopefully your DD won’t have a repeat experience.

Noone wants to stop them having a wee but if you only knew the amount of g grafiti, vandalism , bloodied self harmers I have dealt with in the toilets, or the he amount of bullying in unsupervised toilets , where kids have arranged to meet up at certain times during class to do something horrible you would understand

OP, in your shoes, I'd email the SENCO and ask them to get the toilet pass done. (My DCs' school had all teachers email addresses on their website).

It is so ridiculous and draconian. If the girl had wet herself on the first day of senior school she would never have lived it down.

I actually think that if kids ask to go to the toilet they should be able to go.

A toilet pass where they need to be accompanied is ridiculous too.

Schools are the one workplace where the staff aren’t allowed to go to the toilet whenever they want though.

My dd has a toilet pass, but would still be escorted by head of year so won't use it.

Commenting to add that self harm is a huge issue which almost always occurs in the toilets. This is a massive cause for concern for me in letting pupils go to the toilet.
We’ve had pupils use the THC vapes, take drugs, drink alcohol, self harm and even attempt suicide in the toilets. We’ve also had pupils contact others outside school to arrange fights etc whilst in the toilets. It’s a huge responsibility in the moment to decide whether a pupil genuinely needs to go or whether they’re up to no good.

@Superhansrantowindsor

yes I left teaching a couple of years ago,

I guess it’s changed a lot since then.

I agree it's a problem, and I started off by thinking along the lines of well, it's a human right and I shouldn't say no, and how would l like it etc - and several things happened.

I had a couple of classes where it became a real problem - as soon as one person asked, another did, then another - it was ridiculous, but hey (as they told me) it was their human right.

Then we had some visitors in from the LEA for some reason and that afternoon a boy asked me if he could go - I tried to fob him off and distract him, but he threatened impending doom, so I did let him go. He met up with friends and they ran round school misbehaving and even did some damage. Afterwards I was stopped on the corridor by some bod in a suit I had never met. He asked if I was Mrs Vexed, told me what had happened and then told me I must never let pupils out if they didn't have a pass and that they had passed their concerns about me on to my HT. (Thanks for that Ryan from 9Z.)

So after that I learned the hard way and became the jaded teacher who says no - unless with a toilet pass. Occasionally I would let a child go if I felt they really were desperate and it they didn't have a history of vexatious toilet going. Had the teacher known your daughter better, they might have let her go, but they had probably had a stern talking to that morning - start as you mean to go on sort of thing.

At least you know that she will have a toilet pass.

Actually I wouldn't mind a teacher being able to leave, sometimes my teachers would because it is a natural urge and like I think students shouldn't have to hold it, it should be easier for teachers to do the same. I know sometimes they'd ask a colleague to just stay there for one minute and they'd quickly go. Sometimes they just left the door open and then the teacher opposite could see.

Would this be appropriate for classes, definitely not, but teaching is very different to many other jobs in which as PP have mentioned you can go when you want. Plus just because a teachers cannot go, doesn't mean a student then shouldn't have to automatically, its different for a student v one teacher. It's bad for your bladder if you 'hold it' and no go when you need to.

Yes I do find it hard.
Internal truancy has been a big problem in lots of schools I've been in, and toilet use just had to be a part of trying to tackle it. To be honest while it seemed harsh, the stricter ones have been much more pleasant to be in. The kids managed and we still had some discretion.