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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have a drink and drive?

144 replies

Drinkinndrive · 02/09/2025 12:14

About 18 months ago I moved a 10 min drive away from my previous house, it was in a nice little village where there are some social events that I used to attend.
Every month I go to a quiz night in my old village, when I lived there I'd have one or 2 drinks sometimes and walk home but now that I have to drive I rarely have a drink now.
Except maybe once every 3rd month or so I fancy a gin so I have a single gin & tonic always when I first get there and the night ends at least 2 but sometimes 2 1/2 hours later and then I drive home.

If I've ever mentioned having a drink to my DP he has a go at me saying I shouldn't ever touch a drink if im driving and I completely agree as a general rule but I only have 1 (I've looked up the units and as far as I am aware it wouldn't put me over the limit) I always have something to eat too and I've never felt tipsy/drunk after this one drink.

There is no backstory, im not an alcoholic, i rarely drink at all (for context I brought a bottle of gin maybe 6 months ago and it is in my cupboard about a quarter drunk) I never drink while out at a restaurant etc and I don't go on nights out, this one quiz night a month is my night out 🤣

So be honest am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Yellowmellowmarshello · 02/09/2025 14:34

There is the legal limit and there's what you're comfortable with. I think broadly speaking, 1 drink is fine, unless you're a tiny tiny person. I personally wouldn't if I was driving and I am tall.

I also think your partner is probably saying that to be on the safe side i.e., don't want anything bad potentially happening / he'll have peace of mind knowing you aren't driving after a drink.

BachAndByte · 02/09/2025 14:29

I’d just get a taxi and have 2 or 3 drinks if it’s once a month and not far. Maybe ask your partner for a lift one way and get a cab back?

Original poster
Drinkinndrive · 02/09/2025 14:27

SummerFrog25 · 02/09/2025 12:57

YANBU to have a single Gin & drive 2 hours later. Not at all.

If DP is whinging on about it, tell him you'd be fine with him picking you up if he feels so strongly or to STFU - you're an adult who can make their own decisionS.

But honestly, can you even taste the Gin in a pub single? Do you actually enjoy it?

He would never drop/pick me up so I wouldn't even bother asking.
I can taste it but its not very strong i suppose, just something I enjoy every now and then.

OP posts:
Original poster
Drinkinndrive · 02/09/2025 14:23

KeyWorker · 02/09/2025 12:18

I think it’s best avoided, to be honest. Do you really need a drink doing a quiz?

No i dont need one but sometimes when im at the bar ordering a drink I just fancy a gin as I enjoy it for the taste. I suppose I am influenced by my friends who always drink as they live in the village but as I said I dont do it every month just on occasion when I fancy one.

OP posts:
Cornishclio · 02/09/2025 14:17

You would probably be ok but I wouldn’t drink and drive as it is so variable how people react to alcohol. If it is only 10 minutes away can’t your husband drop off and pick up or you get a taxi or just don’t bother drinking. I would rather have one at home afterwards.

batt3nb3rg · 02/09/2025 14:12

Wishimaywishimight · 02/09/2025 12:36

So you "completely agree" with your DP that one shouldn't touch a drink if driving "as a general rule" but it's okay for you if you only have 1? You are contradicting yourself here.

I (fully) agree with your DP - either arrange other transport or stick to soft drinks. it's just not worth the risk.

There is no risk. One of the most annoying things in the world to me is people who say “it’s not worth the risk” about things that very clearly have no risk. My mother-in-law is notorious for this “oh yes better cook the turkey for an hour longer than package instructions, not worth the risk”, or “you’re planning on offering someone a lift home eight hours after I saw you drinking a small cocktail at a party, it’s not worth the risk!” There is literally no risk. Things are either safe or unsafe, there’s no grey are. If the meat has reached a certain temperature, it’s safe, it can’t get more safe. And if there’s been three times the amount of time that alcohol would take to clear your system, there is no risk to driving either.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 02/09/2025 14:12

@Drinkinndrive

I think it would be better to book an Uber / taxi. An infrequent quiz night shouldn't require all this analysis and headspace.

What’s going on with your partner telling you what or what not to do?

koolkatxx · 02/09/2025 14:10

dcsp · 02/09/2025 14:07

I presume that where @Shoxfordian is coming from is a concern that he's taking a situation that really isn't "drink-driving" and attempting to portray it as if it is.

I don't think that is the case here, but I don't think it's that massive a stretch for @Shoxfordian to make.

Show quote history

It's not like he is telling her not to go out... just not to drive herself home if she has drank alcohol

LlamaNoDrama · 02/09/2025 14:09

I mean legally sure it's probably fine. Personally I think the drink drive limit should be zero and I never drink if driving. I'm confused as to how you agree generally that you shouldn't drink at all yet do it anyway.

dcsp · 02/09/2025 14:07

koolkatxx · 02/09/2025 13:59

Oh just stop. He is worried about her DRINKING AND DRIVING. That is not controlling. WTF

Show quote history

I presume that where @Shoxfordian is coming from is a concern that he's taking a situation that really isn't "drink-driving" and attempting to portray it as if it is.

I don't think that is the case here, but I don't think it's that massive a stretch for @Shoxfordian to make.

Theyreeatingthedogs · 02/09/2025 14:05

SummerInSun · 02/09/2025 12:24

In the real world, as opposed to sanctimonious MN, having a single drink and then waiting for two hours before then driving is legal, safe and entirely normal.

This.

LlynTegid · 02/09/2025 14:04

Get a taxi.

The legal alcohol limit is going to be reduced soon I understand.

idrinkandiknowthings · 02/09/2025 14:03

I think you'd be absolutely fine, but if you're only 10 minutes away I'd get a cab and have 10 😂

Hairshare · 02/09/2025 14:01

A single measure of booze consumed 2 hours ago is not going to affect your driving unless something else is going on, eg you have been fasting for 48 hours or are allergic to alcohol.

koolkatxx · 02/09/2025 13:59

Shoxfordian · 02/09/2025 13:56

Ok maybe but it sounds potentially controlling to me, and I've been on here long enough to see the tip of the controlling iceberg sometimes.

Oh just stop. He is worried about her DRINKING AND DRIVING. That is not controlling. WTF

HelloHattie · 02/09/2025 13:56

Our rule is none but whatever suits you as long as you’re not over the limit is your choice.

Shoxfordian · 02/09/2025 13:56

Ok maybe but it sounds potentially controlling to me, and I've been on here long enough to see the tip of the controlling iceberg sometimes.

koolkatxx · 02/09/2025 13:54

Shoxfordian · 02/09/2025 12:18

Nope, I think one drink is fine. Anything else your dp doesn't like you doing?

He is obviously just worried about her (and others on the road)... no need to make everything on MN into a DH hate campaign.

unsync · 02/09/2025 13:29

My cousin had two of his children and his best mate killed by a driver who had been drinking. The driver also died instantly, so my cousin didn't get any justice for this heinous crime.

If you want a drink, don't drive. Why would you take that risk?

SplendidUtterly · 02/09/2025 13:19

It's once a month.
Go out, enjoy yourself and have a couple of drinks then get a taxi home or ask DH to come and pick you up.

Sunnyscribe · 02/09/2025 13:15

I generally don't drink at all of I'm driving because for me I think what the point, if I'm drinking if like to have a few.

But yes if you'd like one drink and you aren't driving until 2hrs after this drink I think that is safe. I would stop at 1 though.

MonsterasEverywhere · 02/09/2025 13:15

As another poster said, why not have two and take a taxi? The question you have to ask is, if something did happen, could you cope with the outcome? Any amount of alcohol has an effect on reaction times and whilst you can look at averages for alcohol being processed, etc, it is very individual.

The best policy is never to drink and drive (and I say that as a partner of someone who has dealt with the aftermath of road accidents from drink driving).

PurpleThistle7 · 02/09/2025 13:11

I live in Scotland so I never drink before driving - it's a really low limit and I really, really can't lose my license. My husband is always happy to have a drink but never ever if he's driving that day.

When we socialise with cars someone is on the non-alcoholic beer often. I don't drink beer so just stick with water or similar, but my husband is working his way through the options - there are loads of alcohol free options around nowadays.

curious79 · 02/09/2025 13:10

SummerInSun · 02/09/2025 12:24

In the real world, as opposed to sanctimonious MN, having a single drink and then waiting for two hours before then driving is legal, safe and entirely normal.

this!!! You are doing nothing wrong and your partner is being tedious about it.

Get some breathalyser sticks for the car if he's that bothered

Sladuf1 · 02/09/2025 13:08

TheCurious0range · 02/09/2025 12:34

That's so lovely of your husband to offer to drop you off and pick you up......

First thought that came into my head. OP, I’d say this to your husband and see what the reaction is.