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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make the kids walk 3miles to school?

792 replies

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

OP posts:
Trishyb10 · 03/09/2025 19:34

I used to walk to work 5a.m in the morning 3 miles… it takes an hour, its shattering, i did the job 6months and was on burnout, theres no way kids should walk 3 mile to school,full stopx

Trishyb10 · 03/09/2025 19:34

I used to walk to work 5a.m in the morning 3 miles… it takes an hour, its shattering, i did the job 6months and was on burnout, theres no way kids should walk 3 mile to school,full stopx

biscuitsandabreak · 03/09/2025 19:27

Im unsure whether some of these posts are taking the piss or not 😂

FancyOliveHiker · 03/09/2025 19:24

Nannyfannybanny · 02/09/2025 08:09

Depends on their ages.

The OP did say in their post, that the kids are 12 and 13.

Plastictreees · 03/09/2025 19:23

limetrees32 · 03/09/2025 19:11

My dad said he walked to school, barefoot, with a flapjack in his pocket for lunch

A whole flapjack ! Not just a pebble to suck ?

Careful, a whole flapjack might lead to obesity 🙄

Natsku · 03/09/2025 19:19

BeAzureRaven · 03/09/2025 18:08

I remember my grandfather (I'm 65) telling me how he got 'permission', finally, from his father to attend school (his dad wanted him to spend all his time working on the farm, and to forgo school) in a town 10 miles away. He RODE his HORSE to school! In the rain and snow, too. (according to him, anyway) Kids today (mine included) have been so coddled it's embarrassing.

My mum and her siblings grew up on an island in Lapland, until the dyke was built to connect to the mainland the only way to get to school was by rowing boat when there was no ice, and skiing over the ice in winter. Sometimes it was necessary to board at school because it was too dangerous to travel either way. My uncle almost drowned on one school journey.

LBFseBrom · 03/09/2025 19:14

limetrees32 · 03/09/2025 19:11

My dad said he walked to school, barefoot, with a flapjack in his pocket for lunch

A whole flapjack ! Not just a pebble to suck ?

He was one of the lucky ones!

Rewis · 03/09/2025 19:11

I love how 26 pages later people still comment on the first message.

limetrees32 · 03/09/2025 19:11

My dad said he walked to school, barefoot, with a flapjack in his pocket for lunch

A whole flapjack ! Not just a pebble to suck ?

OonaStubbs · 03/09/2025 19:04

If all kids walked 3 miles to school and back there would be a lot less childhood obesity.

Jumpers4goalposts · 03/09/2025 19:03

YANBU why wouldn’t they walk usually? Our council only provides transport if it’s more than 3miles door to door. We are just over 3 miles DD gets bus in mornings but will often walk home.

Toptops · 03/09/2025 19:01

Nannyfannybanny · 02/09/2025 08:09

Depends on their ages.

Er, 12 and 13.
OP just said.

ButterflyBitch · 03/09/2025 18:56

i used to walk 45 minutes each way to and from school. They should be fine. It won’t be forever. Some people are raising very delicate children these days.

LadyjaneOnSteroids · 03/09/2025 18:54

Excellent parenting. My dad said he walked to school, barefoot, with a flapjack in his pocket for lunch. 2nd thru 5th grade. All 8 of us walked to our 3 different schools, no matter how far, or the weather. It strengthened and toughened us, it bonded us and others who walked with us. Also, it encouraged us to be confident, independent, autonomous.

If parents over-parent their children, hover, impede their development by doing everything for them, tying them to metaphoric apron strings, disallowing them individuality...what do they learn?

Loving your child is being supportive, facilitating and guiding them to help them be successful achievers in navigating society and the ways of the world.

If you arent certain your child can do a task, do it with them until they can. Make sure they know safety precautions. Find others they can walk along with and trust your kid to follow the rules. Just don't burden him with minutiae or a bullhorn.

BIossomtoes · 03/09/2025 18:43

Call the NSPCC - abused child has to walk home from school!

jannier · 03/09/2025 18:42

NavyTurtle · 03/09/2025 10:53

Not everyone in in 'Mental Health Crisis' or is 'obese'. Why are some of you delighting in putting your kids through hardship?

Show quote history

Why is walking hardship? That's crazy.

Nostylequeen · 03/09/2025 18:22

Mumofmarauders · 03/09/2025 13:57

I walk a mile to the train station and then after a ten minutes on the train a further nearly two miles to my workplace and the same home again. I love it! I just wear waterproof coat and boots if it rains, did not realise it was such a big deal!

You can’t see the difference between yourself as a big grown woman and a 12yo?

Nostylequeen · 03/09/2025 18:20

Soontobe60 · 02/09/2025 08:12

Would you be happy to do a 3 mile walk twice a day in the rain before and after work? Give them a bloody lift!

This. I actually think it’s cruel of you to do that. After a long day at school and sport and the poor kids would be hungry too. Do the drive, don’t be cruel

AutumnsDad · 03/09/2025 18:18

This seems sensible to me, as long as the children are old enough and sensible enough.

We appear to have developed into a society that requires a 3 minute hop in the car to school. A balanced approach is both more healthy for the children and environmentally friendly.

Safety first though together with ensuring the kids can get to school on time.

Taintedsupernan · 03/09/2025 18:17

Kids in this country are too pampered. In others they walk twice that distance and in harsh terrain to get to and from school. They are more than happy to do tjis as education is very important. Three miles for a month or so is nothing and will do them good. Sorry, but I walked about 4.5 miles to school every day as a kid.

JournalistEmily · 03/09/2025 18:16

Bike. And give them an incentive.

Kjpt140v · 03/09/2025 18:09

Nannyfannybanny · 02/09/2025 08:09

Depends on their ages.

?

BeAzureRaven · 03/09/2025 18:09

PS My grandfather ended up going to medical school, and was the town doctor for over 50 years, so there's that.

BattenbergLoves · 03/09/2025 18:08

I’m all for walking and exercise BUT.. I used to walk 30 mins to school which was 1.4 miles. It was hell if the weather was bad or cold. Double that plus a bit more? Can you drive part of the way then they walk? Stick them on a bus? Can they ride a bike there? All nicer options than walking that distance every day, potentially left in soaking wet clothes /shoes all day.

BeAzureRaven · 03/09/2025 18:08

I remember my grandfather (I'm 65) telling me how he got 'permission', finally, from his father to attend school (his dad wanted him to spend all his time working on the farm, and to forgo school) in a town 10 miles away. He RODE his HORSE to school! In the rain and snow, too. (according to him, anyway) Kids today (mine included) have been so coddled it's embarrassing.