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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make the kids walk 3miles to school?

792 replies

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

OP posts:
sgtmajormum · 03/09/2025 23:40

Im in agreement with you OP. That road closure sounds like a nightmare. Walking seems like a sensible option. I walk 45 mins to work across fields and its a lovely way to commute. No road rage or stress. I get to say good morning to the cows. Fabulous. Your teens sound fit and healthy.
I was going to suggest cycling but I see from your other posts that hills are an issue so that's a no go.

Also sounds like lots of kids will be walking so with mates it won't be that bad at all. Although if they are like my teens they couldn't possibly wear a coat/brolly if it rains and will get quite drenched.

Sounds character building 😁

BogRollBOGOF · 03/09/2025 23:11

outerspacepotato · 03/09/2025 20:40

Hyperbole much?

Everything I said is quite likely. Expecting them to do a daily 10k without any preparation over hills and in bad weather with weighted packs is asking for physical injury. Adults get injuries during boot camp when they start that kind of activity. Why do you think kids are immune? Hint: they're not.

An ACL tear will put them on crutches for some time and it's excruciating.

All to save mom a lot of driving. I get it's a lot of driving but there's a lot of risk here.

Wait until you hear about Duke of Edinburgh's expeditions...
They're only about 18m off bronze award range...

IsThistheMiddleofNowhere · 03/09/2025 22:52

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 09:52

I walk 4 miles to the station on my 3 days I go into London. Then 3 miles the other side. Then I do it again every evening 😘

Imagine telling someone who wants their kids to get exercise when it’s not convenient (I.e would actually be a huge undertaking that would take the parent twice as long to do compared to the kids walking) for them to be driven to ‘get off their patootie and be a mum.’ Sorry, I thought part of being a good parent was to want your children to be healthy…apparently not!

I'm slightly confused because in an earlier post you said you visit your parents every day in your lunchbreak but how can that be when you are working in London 3 days a week which is a 14 mile round trip on foot plus the train journey?

Tallgirlsrock · 03/09/2025 21:55

The Department for Education states that a reasonable distance for children in years 4 to 6 is 3 miles walking distance (each way). If OP's children are age 12 and 13 then there is no reason why they can't walk 3 miles each way. It might actually do them good

Tallgirlsrock · 03/09/2025 21:54

The Department for Education states that a reasonable distance for children in years 4 to 6 is 3 miles walking distance (each way). If OP's children are age 12 and 13 then there is no reason why they can't walk 3 miles each way. It might actually do them good

FiveBarGate · 03/09/2025 21:42

outerspacepotato · 03/09/2025 20:40

Hyperbole much?

Everything I said is quite likely. Expecting them to do a daily 10k without any preparation over hills and in bad weather with weighted packs is asking for physical injury. Adults get injuries during boot camp when they start that kind of activity. Why do you think kids are immune? Hint: they're not.

An ACL tear will put them on crutches for some time and it's excruciating.

All to save mom a lot of driving. I get it's a lot of driving but there's a lot of risk here.

This must be a wind up.

My seven year old did a 10k walk over a hill this weekend. It's a route she's been doing for years and certainly didn't require training.

Unless you have mobility issues this is a very normal distance, especially when broken in two by six hours mostly sitting down

Hmm1234 · 03/09/2025 21:28

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

Yes they’ll be sweaty, miserable and tired and if it rains!? Imagine how uncomfortable they’ll be all day

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 03/09/2025 21:21

MyDogHumpsThings · 03/09/2025 21:05

They’re 12 and 13 - not 72 and 73! I didn’t “train” for my 3-mile walks to school in the wet Welsh weather and neither did my friends, and nobody ever, ever complained of ankle and knee issues.

This generation is utterly screwed and I know exactly who is to blame.

😂😂😂😂

I’ve heard it all now.

”Teenagers need to train to walk an hour and then walk another hour 6 hours later”

MyDogHumpsThings · 03/09/2025 21:05

outerspacepotato · 03/09/2025 20:21

Adults train for 10k walks for weeks. This is not something these kids can just do from Day 1.

These kids are 12 and 13 and will be carrying heavy loads, on hilly terrain, and in inclement weather. They'll be needing more to eat, more protein, and two pairs of good shoes each. I think doing 10k every day under these conditions is going to lead to back and ankle and knee issues. What if one of them slips and falls and injures themself? What if one sprains an ankle? What if they get shin splints? Is the other supposed to leave them or is help available along their route? Will they be walking in the dark in bad weather?

They’re 12 and 13 - not 72 and 73! I didn’t “train” for my 3-mile walks to school in the wet Welsh weather and neither did my friends, and nobody ever, ever complained of ankle and knee issues.

This generation is utterly screwed and I know exactly who is to blame.

schtompy · 03/09/2025 20:57

No, too far..step up to your parental duty, it’s not forever, it’s roadworks. 3 miles is a long way when you’re carrying heavy bags/it’s pouring with rain. It won’t kill you to drive

ButterflyBitch · 03/09/2025 20:46

outerspacepotato · 03/09/2025 20:21

Adults train for 10k walks for weeks. This is not something these kids can just do from Day 1.

These kids are 12 and 13 and will be carrying heavy loads, on hilly terrain, and in inclement weather. They'll be needing more to eat, more protein, and two pairs of good shoes each. I think doing 10k every day under these conditions is going to lead to back and ankle and knee issues. What if one of them slips and falls and injures themself? What if one sprains an ankle? What if they get shin splints? Is the other supposed to leave them or is help available along their route? Will they be walking in the dark in bad weather?

Yeh I stand by my comment. I did it. At 11 onwards, carrying my rucksack, in hilly terrain and in inclement weather. Anyone can fall and hurt themselves at any time. They’re at no more risk than any other person walking. Presumably they’re as fit and healthy as op said, in which case they’ll be fine. If there’s any injuries then like anyone they’d call for medical help, a luxury which we didn’t have in my day.

Lookylooper · 03/09/2025 20:45

outerspacepotato · 03/09/2025 20:40

Hyperbole much?

Everything I said is quite likely. Expecting them to do a daily 10k without any preparation over hills and in bad weather with weighted packs is asking for physical injury. Adults get injuries during boot camp when they start that kind of activity. Why do you think kids are immune? Hint: they're not.

An ACL tear will put them on crutches for some time and it's excruciating.

All to save mom a lot of driving. I get it's a lot of driving but there's a lot of risk here.

Everything I said is quite likely

It really isn't

I get it's a lot of driving but there's a lot of risk here

There REALLY isn't

Weighted packs, boot camp, ACL tears - good galloping grief. Do you suffer from this much fear of catastrophe in other areas of your life as well?

outerspacepotato · 03/09/2025 20:40

Lookylooper · 03/09/2025 20:29

What if they spontaneously combust? What if a rabid flock of sheep break free and the children get caught up in it, unable to free themselves?!!? Oh the humanity!!

It's not even dark after school, and presumably more food can be carried or bought. Have a lie down.

Hyperbole much?

Everything I said is quite likely. Expecting them to do a daily 10k without any preparation over hills and in bad weather with weighted packs is asking for physical injury. Adults get injuries during boot camp when they start that kind of activity. Why do you think kids are immune? Hint: they're not.

An ACL tear will put them on crutches for some time and it's excruciating.

All to save mom a lot of driving. I get it's a lot of driving but there's a lot of risk here.

Lookylooper · 03/09/2025 20:29

outerspacepotato · 03/09/2025 20:21

Adults train for 10k walks for weeks. This is not something these kids can just do from Day 1.

These kids are 12 and 13 and will be carrying heavy loads, on hilly terrain, and in inclement weather. They'll be needing more to eat, more protein, and two pairs of good shoes each. I think doing 10k every day under these conditions is going to lead to back and ankle and knee issues. What if one of them slips and falls and injures themself? What if one sprains an ankle? What if they get shin splints? Is the other supposed to leave them or is help available along their route? Will they be walking in the dark in bad weather?

What if they spontaneously combust? What if a rabid flock of sheep break free and the children get caught up in it, unable to free themselves?!!? Oh the humanity!!

It's not even dark after school, and presumably more food can be carried or bought. Have a lie down.

outerspacepotato · 03/09/2025 20:21

ButterflyBitch · 03/09/2025 18:56

i used to walk 45 minutes each way to and from school. They should be fine. It won’t be forever. Some people are raising very delicate children these days.

Adults train for 10k walks for weeks. This is not something these kids can just do from Day 1.

These kids are 12 and 13 and will be carrying heavy loads, on hilly terrain, and in inclement weather. They'll be needing more to eat, more protein, and two pairs of good shoes each. I think doing 10k every day under these conditions is going to lead to back and ankle and knee issues. What if one of them slips and falls and injures themself? What if one sprains an ankle? What if they get shin splints? Is the other supposed to leave them or is help available along their route? Will they be walking in the dark in bad weather?

Blushingm · 03/09/2025 20:20

At that age a council wouldn’t offer free transport as they’re close enough to walk. 3 miles isn’t far. They can walk

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 03/09/2025 20:16

Gloriia · 03/09/2025 20:11

Do you walk 3 miles to get to work? I'd guess probably not. It is customary to drive or catch a bus whilst using leisure time for health related activities.

I walk six miles a day.
I love it.

Lookylooper · 03/09/2025 20:14

Gloriia · 03/09/2025 20:11

Do you walk 3 miles to get to work? I'd guess probably not. It is customary to drive or catch a bus whilst using leisure time for health related activities.

I used to walk over and hour to work, and not that many years ago either. I didn't have a car for a long time, and I walked everywhere - to and from work, to the big supermarket (so I had a big rucksack), all over the place. Sometimes the bus but there was really no need.

I really don't see the problem, it was just part of my day. It's also not forever for these kids!

ThatRareLimeFinch · 03/09/2025 20:12

3 miles is the distance that the local authority deem acceptable for a high school age child to walk if you are trying to arrange transport for them. so at that ages i think its fine.

Gloriia · 03/09/2025 20:11

Lookylooper · 03/09/2025 19:57

Is everyone OK? Acting like this tantamount to child abuse. They're being asked to walk! Presumably together? And for maybe an hour? Good grief, everyone suggesting it's impossible - people do it everyday!

It'll do them good, health-wise - so many kids are so sedentary these days, can see why with all this hand wringing.

Do you walk 3 miles to get to work? I'd guess probably not. It is customary to drive or catch a bus whilst using leisure time for health related activities.

Lookylooper · 03/09/2025 20:08

BeachLife2 · 02/09/2025 17:44

I am extremely fit and would find walking 3 miles to and from work in the pouring rain every day miserable.

That's really down to personality. Perhaps these kids are more upbeat.

It also doesn't pour with rain every day so that's good.

Lookylooper · 03/09/2025 19:57

Is everyone OK? Acting like this tantamount to child abuse. They're being asked to walk! Presumably together? And for maybe an hour? Good grief, everyone suggesting it's impossible - people do it everyday!

It'll do them good, health-wise - so many kids are so sedentary these days, can see why with all this hand wringing.

RigIt · 03/09/2025 19:40

Of course it’s fine. It’s also really good for them to get the exercise. A bit of wind or rain won’t kill them (although make sure they have good waterproof coats so they aren’t dripping wet at school all day). Exercise before school is also great for concentration. I used to walk 2.5 miles a day to work and then back again. That was no problem and this is only slightly further.

Trishyb10 · 03/09/2025 19:35

I used to walk to work 5a.m in the morning 3 miles… it takes an hour, its shattering, i did the job 6months and was on burnout, theres no way kids should walk 3 mile to school,full stopx

Trishyb10 · 03/09/2025 19:35

I used to walk to work 5a.m in the morning 3 miles… it takes an hour, its shattering, i did the job 6months and was on burnout, theres no way kids should walk 3 mile to school,full stopx

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