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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make the kids walk 3miles to school?

792 replies

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

OP posts:
Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 04/09/2025 09:32

Sorejaws · 04/09/2025 09:28

Great. So you were a very late starter to walking for exercise then

No.

I’ve always been a walker. I was a healthy weight until after having my third child and I dipped into really bad eating habits. If I didn’t walk also, I’m sure I would have been much bigger.

Sorejaws · 04/09/2025 09:28

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 04/09/2025 09:27

But losing the weight was down to walking and rectifying my poor diet.

And if I hadn’t been walking I would have been much bigger.

Edited

Great. So you were a very late starter to walking for exercise then

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 04/09/2025 09:27

Sorejaws · 04/09/2025 09:21

you see this kind of post.

You conveniently neglect to mention that your obesity was due to poor diet. On here it’s all about lack of exercise as being the “problem in society”

Anyway, I’ll leave you to it

Edited

But losing the weight was down to walking and rectifying my poor diet.

And if I hadn’t been walking I would have been much bigger.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 04/09/2025 09:26

BunnyLake · 04/09/2025 09:20

Walking a few hours a day, do you mean miles? I think it’s not realistic for people to walk hours every day. (It takes me around 12 mins to walk a mile, so a minimum of walking 10 miles daily (20-25k steps) isn’t feasible or realistic.

Well, anything is better than nothing.

I walk six. I walk for around two hours a day in two intervals. I’m going somewhere though and I’m with my three kids for half of it. I think if I was more purposeful in my walking, and was alone for it, I could definitely do it much more quickly.

I don’t think everyone should walk six miles. I do think these teenagers could walk it. I think everyone should factor walking into their daily lives though and avoid using the car unless absolutely necessary.

Sorejaws · 04/09/2025 09:21

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 03/09/2025 11:08

It’s not hardship.

It’s gentle exercise.

This thread is wild but explains so much about the problems in our culture.

you see this kind of post.

You conveniently neglect to mention that your obesity was due to poor diet. On here it’s all about lack of exercise as being the “problem in society”

Anyway, I’ll leave you to it

BunnyLake · 04/09/2025 09:20

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 04/09/2025 09:13

You can see my posts. On the second thread I changed my name to bonjournomounjourno or something.

You can see I stopped posting in around June 3rd when I got my positive pregnancy test. I obviously stopped taking it immediately.

I’m not depressed or despondent.

I’m positive. I’m supporting the idea that most people can and should walk a few hours a day.

The reason the weight dropped off me so quickly is because once I’d addressed my poor eating habits, I was already walking 6 miles a day.

Also, thanks for the condolences on my miscarriage.

Walking a few hours a day, do you mean miles? I think it’s not realistic for people to walk hours every day. (It takes me around 12 mins to walk a mile, so a minimum of walking 10 miles daily (20-25k steps) isn’t feasible or realistic.

BunnyLake · 04/09/2025 09:15

Has the school acknowledged there will be issues with children getting in on time? What is Plan B for days of heavy rain (we’ve had a number of those recently).

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 04/09/2025 09:13

Sorejaws · 04/09/2025 08:51

you’re on this thread despondent and depressed about the obesity of others, when you were, went on the jabs, pregnant, come off 🤷‍♀️

Edited

You can see my posts. On the second thread I changed my name to bonjournomounjourno or something.

You can see I stopped posting in around June 3rd when I got my positive pregnancy test. I obviously stopped taking it immediately.

I’m not depressed or despondent.

I’m positive. I’m supporting the idea that most people can and should walk a few hours a day.

The reason the weight dropped off me so quickly is because once I’d addressed my poor eating habits, I was already walking 6 miles a day.

Also, thanks for the condolences on my miscarriage.

WalkDontWalk · 04/09/2025 09:09

I’d just like to note an unusual phenomenon.

I started reading this thread thinking you were being unreasonable, but having read it all, I’ve changed my mind.

…I’m not saying this is a first, but it doesn’t happen every day.

I might start another thread to discuss how often that happens to other people.

Timemyluckchanged · 04/09/2025 09:04

Had to walk 3 miles to school and back 40 years ago though tbf was because i spent my bus money on cigs and sweets. It ls only a month, not mid winter, it won’t kill them and they may even enjoy it.

Sorejaws · 04/09/2025 08:51

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 04/09/2025 08:35

I’m not 😀

I had a BMI of 30 in April, I took Mounjaro for one month, then fell pregnant, I had a miscarriage in July, and I’ve been able to maintain my weight through the whole summer.
My BMI is now 26.

I have struggled with my weight. I don’t deny that. I don’t want my children to have the same problems and for laziness to become their norm. I want better health for my children.

What’s wrong with that?

you’re on this thread despondent and depressed about the obesity of others, when you were, went on the jabs, pregnant, come off 🤷‍♀️

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 04/09/2025 08:42

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 04/09/2025 08:35

I’m not 😀

I had a BMI of 30 in April, I took Mounjaro for one month, then fell pregnant, I had a miscarriage in July, and I’ve been able to maintain my weight through the whole summer.
My BMI is now 26.

I have struggled with my weight. I don’t deny that. I don’t want my children to have the same problems and for laziness to become their norm. I want better health for my children.

What’s wrong with that?

And just to add, I have always walked the kids to school and back. My problem was eating lots of rubbish for late night snacking. I’ve managed to curb that over the summer and I’m working really hard to maintain that.

These are all bad habits that need to be addressed.

Culturally, we are normalising unhealthy eating and sedentary lifestyles.

We need to change this mindset. And who better to comment on the that someone who struggled with their weight themselves?

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 04/09/2025 08:35

Sorejaws · 04/09/2025 08:24

Fgs @Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim i was on the Monjaru weight loss injections support threads with you. You are obese. Get off your high horse

Edited

I’m not 😀

I had a BMI of 30 in April, I took Mounjaro for one month, then fell pregnant, I had a miscarriage in July, and I’ve been able to maintain my weight through the whole summer.
My BMI is now 26.

I have struggled with my weight. I don’t deny that. I don’t want my children to have the same problems and for laziness to become their norm. I want better health for my children.

What’s wrong with that?

CallMeMessy · 04/09/2025 08:29

Swiftie1878 · 03/09/2025 08:24

A generational thing then.

My grandmothers couldn’t ride bikes either, wasn’t the done thing back then apparently.

Sorejaws · 04/09/2025 08:24

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 03/09/2025 12:28

No has claimed it will “solve” anything.

Only that it will lessen problems currently growing at alarming rates.

There is so much research on the benefits of gentle exercise that I’m astounded you’re denying the very strong link between gentle exercise and health and wellbeing.

I walk this distance, every day. Rain or shine. I am not tired afterwards. It’s a very gentle form of exercise and an opportunity to spend some time in the fresh air.

Everyone driving everywhere, normalising being sedentary, is having enormous repercussions on our generation and the ones after us.

26% of children are now overweight or obese.
65% of adults are now overweight or obese.

Do you think we should be looking towards the American model of driving everywhere or other nation’s models of walking and cycling?

Edited

Fgs @Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim i was on the Monjaru weight loss injections support threads with you. You are obese. Get off your high horse

Sorejaws · 04/09/2025 08:02

BeAzureRaven · 03/09/2025 18:08

I remember my grandfather (I'm 65) telling me how he got 'permission', finally, from his father to attend school (his dad wanted him to spend all his time working on the farm, and to forgo school) in a town 10 miles away. He RODE his HORSE to school! In the rain and snow, too. (according to him, anyway) Kids today (mine included) have been so coddled it's embarrassing.

Where did he keep his horse whilst he was at school @BeAzureRaven ?

HeyThereDelila · 04/09/2025 04:28

Cycle or scoot? And you give them a lift in bad weather/make sure they keep a change of trousers at school.

What are other local parents doing? Our primary school has a bike bus where children and parents can cycle together as a group. Could that work?

Squishymallows · 04/09/2025 02:52

I used to walk 1.5 miles to school, friends 1.8. I think 2 is max in my eyes. I wouldn’t make my kids walk 3 with heavy bags.

i would park my car the other side of the roadworks for the duration and we just walked to the car a little each time

Emmafuller79 · 04/09/2025 02:51

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

Why do you live that far from there school?
or if you like why don’t they go to school near you’re home?

🤔

Natsku · 04/09/2025 02:40

outerspacepotato · 03/09/2025 20:21

Adults train for 10k walks for weeks. This is not something these kids can just do from Day 1.

These kids are 12 and 13 and will be carrying heavy loads, on hilly terrain, and in inclement weather. They'll be needing more to eat, more protein, and two pairs of good shoes each. I think doing 10k every day under these conditions is going to lead to back and ankle and knee issues. What if one of them slips and falls and injures themself? What if one sprains an ankle? What if they get shin splints? Is the other supposed to leave them or is help available along their route? Will they be walking in the dark in bad weather?

Adults train for weeks to do a half day hike???
My 7 year old did an unplanned 8k walk this summer (we didn't realise how long the walk was until we were half way round, too late to turn back then) with no food or water, and swarms of mosquitoes biting us. Didn't even suffer a blister.

CecilyP · 04/09/2025 01:49

Tallgirlsrock · 03/09/2025 21:55

The Department for Education states that a reasonable distance for children in years 4 to 6 is 3 miles walking distance (each way). If OP's children are age 12 and 13 then there is no reason why they can't walk 3 miles each way. It might actually do them good

No it doesn't. Local authorities have as statutory duty to provide free transport for primary children travelling over 2 miles and for secondary children travelling over 3 miles

caringcarer · 04/09/2025 01:48

I'd drive them if it was pouring with rain in the morning as it's not nice to be in wet clothes all day. Otherwise the exercise will do them good. If it wasn't raining I'd tell them to walk in the morning. DH can decide if he drives them or they walk in the afternoon.

CecilyP · 04/09/2025 01:23

BeAzureRaven · 03/09/2025 18:08

I remember my grandfather (I'm 65) telling me how he got 'permission', finally, from his father to attend school (his dad wanted him to spend all his time working on the farm, and to forgo school) in a town 10 miles away. He RODE his HORSE to school! In the rain and snow, too. (according to him, anyway) Kids today (mine included) have been so coddled it's embarrassing.

Sounds like fun. That might be a novel solution for OP!

independentfriend · 04/09/2025 00:14

Another option - picnic breakfast and thermos flasks to eat in the car and leave very early in the morning when there's little traffic so you can deposit the children and get home again before rush hour. Would require discipline to go to bed early enough to make getting up at 5am or so feasible for a month.

If them walking is likely to be a longer term thing than just for the roadworks look at bikes with some kind of legal pedal assist fitted to help with the hills. (Check if you're supposed to be 14 to use a bike like that).

Endorewitch · 04/09/2025 00:03

Years ago kids walked to school. I did. But attitudes have changed.
If they are 12 and 13 cycling is the perfect answer. As the road is closed to traffic it is quite safe. It is only for a month anyhow. Actually there is nothing wrong with cycling now and then even when the road opens. Good exercise.