Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make the kids walk 3miles to school?

792 replies

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

OP posts:
UpMyself · 02/09/2025 09:20

coffeetasteslikeshit · 02/09/2025 08:14

Are you being serious?

I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

From the OP.

@coffeetasteslikeshit, @Bbq1 It's in the edited OP but not the original. You are 'that person'.

@DHdoingmyheadin , I'd take them in the car but let them walk home.

BessieSurtees · 02/09/2025 09:20

Of course children should be able to walk 6 miles a day, but every day an hour before and after school, on roads that are too hilly to ride a bike, possibly carrying backpacks? Have your DH collect them as usual and let them walk on your drop off weather dependant because arriving at school soaking wet is no fun.

There must be other parents / school kids in this position can you not arrange to share? have the local authority not set up alternative measures? There's no way I would walk an hour before and after work 5 days a week.

Biskieboo · 02/09/2025 09:19

Orphlids · 02/09/2025 09:09

I’m really surprised by how many people are saying they shouldn’t have to walk. To me, it seems so normal for my children to walk distances like this. My children have walked about three miles to school and back since they were four. It’s been an enjoyable part of our day. God, I’m so smug.

Yep. Tbh this thread is a bit of an eye-opener for me as to just how sedentary and can't-do the majority of people have become. 'Ooh but how would you like it having to walk three miles twice a day?!?!'. Well I used to run more than that to work every single day, I still do whenever I can, and I bloody love it, and that's because I got into the habit of daily exercise when I was young, including a 4 mile bike/walk to/from school most days. Some of the excuses are just daft - e.g. 'What about the evenings drawing in?!?!' - it's 2 September, the OP said the offending roadworks would be for a month, and I'm guessing the OP doesn't live in the Arctic circle. Mithering crap.

TATT2 · 02/09/2025 09:19

I walked 2 miles to school as a teen (and home). Extremely heavy bag, in the days when you had actual books on history, science, literature etc to cart around as well as your "books". BUT, it wasn't rural. There were no hills. I was in streets or in busy places the whole way.
I know there are 2 of them, but I don't like the sound of their journey, with an extra mile added. They'll soon be in the dark for the end of the walk home.

BIossomtoes · 02/09/2025 09:19

I walk three miles with the dogs every day. I’m sure if I can manage it at 72, a 12 and 13 year old can do it.

CallMeMessy · 02/09/2025 09:18

An hours walk each way, they’ll be fine! Can believe all the people saying that’s too far… if it’s a really crappy day perhaps try to pick them up? 3 miles is nothing, but then that was the distance I walked to school each way so…

Nestingbirds · 02/09/2025 09:18

It’s too far! Much too far. You are being completely unreasonable op.

Spies · 02/09/2025 09:17

Bbq1 · 02/09/2025 09:16

It's in the Op.

In fairness to that poster it wasn't until the OP edited her post.

Bbq1 · 02/09/2025 09:16

Nannyfannybanny · 02/09/2025 08:09

Depends on their ages.

It's in the Op.

TiredofTheirCrap · 02/09/2025 09:16

Also, consider the safety aspect of it too.

Delphiniumandlupins · 02/09/2025 09:15

Is there a bus they can get? Could they cycle part of the way (maybe leaving bikes at a friend's house so they don't have to cycle the steepest bit)? If the steep part is coming home and DH does pick up then he could bring bikes back and they'll have a lovely downhill cycle in the mornings. Do they have friends that you could share lifts with?
I don't think an hour's walk at 12 and 13 is unreasonable, however, and the road should be open again before they would be walking in the dark.

Heronwatcher · 02/09/2025 09:15

I’ve just looked and our school is 1.2 miles away- I happily walk this twice a day 2/3 times a week (when I am not at work in the office), as do the kids and TBH it doesn’t even feel much of a distance. I think 3 miles would be fine as long as we weren’t late!

Noshadelamp · 02/09/2025 09:15

GiveMeWordGames · 02/09/2025 08:17

I walk quite fast and average a mile in 15 minutes. So three miles wouldn't really be faster than the driving time you've described. At best it would be the same.

I don't think op is intending on walking with them, so she saves the time driving.

Op can you drive them part of the way, or pick them up after school?

Are they fit and healthy? I'd see how they go but have a plan in place for taking them when they have heavier than usual bags, bad weather etc

Whinge · 02/09/2025 09:15

FollowSpot · 02/09/2025 08:12

Is the road closed to pedestrians? If not I would keep my car parked the other side of the roadworks and go from there.

6 miles walking a day is quite a lot, it will be dark for the later part. Do the kids walk alone or will one of you need to do 2 x 6 miles round trips a day?

I'm surprised the OP hasn't responded to this suggestion. It makes a lot of sense.

madaboutpurple · 02/09/2025 09:14

The children need taking to school, a six mile walk is too far each day.

KateDelRick · 02/09/2025 09:14

Motherbear44 · 02/09/2025 09:13

I love this solution. So sensible

Yes, I agree. Best solution.

Whyherewego · 02/09/2025 09:14

It's one month. They can walk one way and you can always drive if there's a storm or what not.
I think it's fine for them to walk one way at least. DH can pick them up in the car!

Avie29 · 02/09/2025 09:14

We have had to start walking/cycling to school with our 10yo daughter, i don’t drive and OH has had his license on hold for a year due to medical reasons, it is just over 2 miles to her school so she does just over 4 miles everyday come rain or shine (8miles for us haha), she didn’t like it at first but now she keeps saying that even when dad gets his license back she wants to walk/cycle still every now n then 🤷🏻‍♀️ we have been walking for 8 months now, its only a month, im sure they can handle it xx

museumum · 02/09/2025 09:14

We'd cycle. Even if you have to get off and push some hills it's so much faster on the downs it makes up for it. Still definitely faster overall than walking.
If yours don't have bikes and you normally drive them to and from school then I would probably get ds to walk there in the morning and agree to pick him up afterwards (traffic at 4pm is never quite as bad as at 8:30am).

Motherbear44 · 02/09/2025 09:13

FollowSpot · 02/09/2025 08:12

Is the road closed to pedestrians? If not I would keep my car parked the other side of the roadworks and go from there.

6 miles walking a day is quite a lot, it will be dark for the later part. Do the kids walk alone or will one of you need to do 2 x 6 miles round trips a day?

I love this solution. So sensible

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 09:13

Backfromholareyou · 02/09/2025 09:00

What’s your fitness like Op?

Very good thanks. As it has been all my life. 😀The kids, like DH and I, are keen swimmers and runners.

And even if I was unfit, it has no bearing on whether or not my kids can walk 6 miles a day, does it?

OP posts:
TiredofTheirCrap · 02/09/2025 09:13

Walk with them for a week and see how they get on if you're insistent on this. It's a lot of walking for children. I think this being a bit harsh.

KateDelRick · 02/09/2025 09:12

AuntieAunt · 02/09/2025 08:13

They bike? I’d be tempted to offer them £10 a week for cycling as it’s the money saved on petrol.

Could they bike on days it’s not chucking it down, and you give lifts on the days they’ve got to take ingredients in/it’s pouring it down.

Surely three miles is only a 20minutes bike ride. It will be good for them and the planet.

You would pay your own children to cycle? Have I got that wrong?

Blondebrownorred · 02/09/2025 09:12

Orphlids · 02/09/2025 09:09

I’m really surprised by how many people are saying they shouldn’t have to walk. To me, it seems so normal for my children to walk distances like this. My children have walked about three miles to school and back since they were four. It’s been an enjoyable part of our day. God, I’m so smug.

Agree! Its only for a month too. I'm genuinely shocked people think 3 miles each way is too much. Exercise is healthy.

CracklingFlames · 02/09/2025 09:10

That's absolutely fine!