Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make the kids walk 3miles to school?

792 replies

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

OP posts:
Bohema123 · 02/09/2025 10:37

For their age it could take 45 mins to an hour to walk 3 miles and that is without hills or lashing rain. I was going to say go for it as thought about 30 mins each way which is not so bad but it could be over 2 hours in total and they will get soaked

JJMama · 02/09/2025 10:37

So you have to get to work and DP from work? If so they can walk, it’s only for a month. If either of you are SAHP then take them/pick them up.

LandSharksAnonymous · 02/09/2025 10:36

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 10:33

Google ‘Battle Hill’ road closures (Rother Town council). It won’t let me link but I have included a screen shot.

But the answer is: yes, quite easily.😊 It’s emergency work. They had to bump it from August as there were road works down the A21 detour route!

The shorter ‘detour’ suggested by Google maps is through back roads, not wide enough for two cars to pass. So it’s into Hastings, then back out again down the A21!

Show quote history

Ah shit for you, OP! My PIL live near there. It’s a bloody nightmare!!!

Tiswa · 02/09/2025 10:36

How would you drop them off and then get to work given your commute is 2 hours minimum 3 days a week

KateDelRick · 02/09/2025 10:36

Pastaandoranges · 02/09/2025 10:34

Fine if its not chucking it down on the way into school. And if its hilly then it could be tiring. I like the PP idea of parking car other side of the roadworks.

She can't because she needs the car to visit elderly parents.

Randomchat · 02/09/2025 10:34

It's for a month in September, they can walk. My answer might be different in January.

You could always pick them up now and again for a treat or if the weather is rotten.

I occasionally pick ds up from the train station to save him waiting for a bus or walking 45 minutes home and he's always happy to get a wee break. Sometimes I offer him a lift to the station on a Friday morning if he's looking a bit weary.

Pastaandoranges · 02/09/2025 10:34

Fine if its not chucking it down on the way into school. And if its hilly then it could be tiring. I like the PP idea of parking car other side of the roadworks.

mindutopia · 02/09/2025 10:34

There must be a friend heading to school who lives more than 10 doors down on the other side who could give them a lift for a month.

Are there no better detours? I live in the arse end of nowhere and the official diversion for roadworks can easily take you on a 60 minute tour through the next county and back. But there is always a little lane you can cut through that only locals know about where you can pop out a mile down the road. There must be an easier way.

Original poster
DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 10:33

Gloriia · 02/09/2025 10:27

Exactly.

Show quote history

Google ‘Battle Hill’ road closures (Rother Town council). It won’t let me link but I have included a screen shot.

But the answer is: yes, quite easily.😊 It’s emergency work. They had to bump it from August as there were road works down the A21 detour route!

The shorter ‘detour’ suggested by Google maps is through back roads, not wide enough for two cars to pass. So it’s into Hastings, then back out again down the A21!

To make the kids walk 3miles to school?
OP posts:
BeachLife2 · 02/09/2025 10:33

It sounds bonkers tbh and will make them exhausted and miserable. As expected there are lots of posters claiming to have ran a marathon to school every day, but there is a reason regressive practices are confined to the past.

I am a big believer in fitness for people of all ages, but walking 6 miles in pouring rain and wind is not going to be conducive to them performing well at school.

Marylou62 · 02/09/2025 10:31

FollowSpot · 02/09/2025 08:12

Is the road closed to pedestrians? If not I would keep my car parked the other side of the roadworks and go from there.

6 miles walking a day is quite a lot, it will be dark for the later part. Do the kids walk alone or will one of you need to do 2 x 6 miles round trips a day?

Just came on to ask this..

GuestWW · 02/09/2025 10:31

UpMyself · 02/09/2025 10:21

The people describing 3 miles as a half hour walk have clearly never actually done it

3 miles in half an hour is a perfectly respectable jogging pace.
If carrying a rucksack, 45 minutes walk would be a good guess. I'd allow an hour.

I am a fast walker and a fair runner, I am well pleased if I run 3 miles in 30 minutes! But I would still happily walk 3 miles :-)

ToadRage · 02/09/2025 10:30

Seriously? From the age of 11 I walked to school and back everyday, through rain, wind and even snow. Living in the country we walked almost everywhere and being Somerset its a very hilly. What is your husband worried about? 3 miles is nothing and it gives them a bit of fresh air and exercise. As a chubby 11 year old when i started walking to school everyday the weight fell off me, by 13 i was heathy weight and throughout school had fantastic hourglass figure.

Gloriia · 02/09/2025 10:29

OldWave · 02/09/2025 10:27

*also, if make sure that school are aware, and that they have a locker at school.
I think it's great!

Nevermind a locker at school maybe school can talk to the council as the parents apparently haven't and tell them you can't just close a main route with a 15mile diversion!

Natsku · 02/09/2025 10:28

Rewis · 02/09/2025 10:18

Average walking speed is 3mi/h. Have those claiming that 12yo do it in 45min, really? Cause pre-teens are slow. Not that they are not capable of walking fast. They just don't. Every 12yo I've met can't just say buy to their friends and take the main direct route.

My walking distance from school was 0.5mi unless I had training in the evening, me and my bff would take forever to walk just chatting, taking alternative routes etc. Whenever we plan scouts we need to plan double the amount of time for walking cause everything is slow-mo.

Edited

Not all pre-teens are slow, DD has been a very fast walker since she was about 8, I struggle to keep up with her and I am a fast walker. But she still couldn't do 3 miles in 45 minutes.

Heartbreaksally · 02/09/2025 10:28

SereneCoralDog · 02/09/2025 10:11

You can tell the people who don't actually walk much because they have no actual concept of distance/time/impact.

A six year old (and probably the older ones) walking ten miles on every school day is total bollocks on a number of fronts.

For one thing, why are you giving your dog two three mile walks after 3.30pm? (Unless you're suggesting that you drag your children out of bed for them to walk a total of 5 miles every day before school?). NO dog needs that and if yours appears to, it's understimulated and more exercise is not the answer.

Show quote history

Its not bollocks on a number of fronts. We are a very active family and spend most of our weekends hiking etc as well! If you read my subsequent posts, I break down my timings and also add the kids do a mix of walking, cycling and on their scooters. My dog is also a border collie and very much does need two walks a day, and gets played with and stimulated outside of his walks too.

I think people who arent as active have a bit of a chip on their shoulder and like to knock down people who are, just because they cant fit it into their lives. Ive set our lives up deliberately because being active is important to me personally, and I hate driving and being stuck in traffic - if you look at our actual walking times, theres definitely many people driving longer than that in their daily commute, kids probably out of the house longer when you factor in wrap around care as well. My school run would take at least the same amound of time driving with the traffic, so i might as well be walking! I spent most of my childhood walking too as we didnt have a car until I was in my mid teens.

Copied my timings post for yoh below:

Up at 6, out walking the dog for 6.15, home for between 7-7.15, then an hour to get ready and breakfast etc. Leave at 8.15, in school for 8.45. They leave school at 3 and are home for 3.30. Have an evening walk after dinner from about 6-7. Kids in bed for 8.
I work in the office 9.30-14.30 about a mile past their school, then work 3-4 hours from home in the evening when theyre in bed.
If you factor in a lot of people's commute time and their drop offs to wrap around care its probs not that much different time wise regarding bed times/wake up times and commuting!

KateDelRick · 02/09/2025 10:28

I walk 2.8 miles to work, it takes me 45 minutes, but it is very hilly, at one point quite steep. I carry a backpack and am quite elderly!
I agree with pp - they should be able to walk it without too much difficulty at that age.

firef1y · 02/09/2025 10:27

Cadenza12 · 02/09/2025 08:14

6 miles a day? That's ridiculous.

When did it become ridiculous?? Obviously some time in the last 35 years. I was walking that every day for school from age 11 and up. Sorry it was 2.98 miles, just under the limit for getting a bus pass. We didn't have a car so I had to walk it in all weather's, more than once I had to change my clothes when I got there.

OldWave · 02/09/2025 10:27

*also, if make sure that school are aware, and that they have a locker at school.
I think it's great!

Gloriia · 02/09/2025 10:27

Rewis · 02/09/2025 10:21

Also, how can the main road in a village be closed for a month during the school times and designed alt route is 15mi detour?

Exactly.

OldWave · 02/09/2025 10:25

It's only for a month, and it will be an adventure and tale to tell. Also, they'll become invested in making sure the council finishes it quickly.
Send them off!!

Original poster
DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 10:25

Kuretake · 02/09/2025 10:03

Do you honestly walk 14 miles on a commute day? How long does that take you? I run 5k three times a week and do about an hour of walking as part of my commute and I feel like that's pretty unusually active!

Show quote history

I do 4.5miles in an hour, as I’m a fast walker! So less than an hour to the station, then 40 minutes the other side. It saves me ££ on the underground and on parking and petrol! I can’t afford an extra £60 a week (once you add in petrol, station parking at £6.50 a day, and tube costs) when I can walk.

OP posts:
IShouldNotCoco · 02/09/2025 10:24

Comedycook · 02/09/2025 10:09

I agree...I think a lot of people are over estimating distances. Three miles is a lot.

Show quote history

Agree. I can walk quite quickly. It’s a mile from my house to town and it takes me 22 minutes if I walk quickly.

user1498572889 · 02/09/2025 10:24

They can walk it will be fine.
I walked 2.4 miles to school and back again. A bit of a pain when it was raining but my parents went to work before i got up and came home after me.
They will survive

Tiswa · 02/09/2025 10:23

And the average walking speed is 3 to 4 miles an hour taking in carrying load the 3 is much more likely!