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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make the kids walk 3miles to school?

792 replies

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

OP posts:
cabbageking · 02/09/2025 11:35

For over 8s. Our LA guideline for school travel is that 3 miles is an acceptable distance for a child to walk.
I don't think this is too far.

Deepbluesea1 · 02/09/2025 11:35

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

Is there no bus (even if it's a longer route) they can take? Surely at 12/13, you shouldn't have to ferry them forth and back?

MyDeftDuck · 02/09/2025 11:35

Ooops, meant YOUNG teenagers

MyDeftDuck · 02/09/2025 11:34

Three miles isn’t too far for your teenagers…my two youngest GC are doing their DofE and regularly smash over three miles without batting an eye.

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 02/09/2025 11:33

Avie29 · 02/09/2025 11:27

My 10yo does 2miles in half an hour we leave for school at 8:15 ish and arrive 8:45 ish and she isn’t a fast walker, i can do the walk home without her in 20 mins and biking we do it in half that time, them being 12/13 should only take them 40 mins tops walking xx

You walk at 6 mph? No, you dont.

KateDelRick · 02/09/2025 11:32

BIossomtoes · 02/09/2025 11:32

I walk it every day of my life and I’m old enough to be their granny.

Me too!

BIossomtoes · 02/09/2025 11:32

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 02/09/2025 11:31

I bet half the people saying "yeah walk, no problem" have never walked three miles in their lives, let alone twice a day every day.

I walk it every day of my life and I’m old enough to be their granny.

Twinkletoes127 · 02/09/2025 11:32

Nannyfannybanny · 02/09/2025 08:09

Depends on their ages.

My daughter doesn't drive. My grandkids have walked everywhere all their lives. What's their age got to do with anything?

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 02/09/2025 11:31

I bet half the people saying "yeah walk, no problem" have never walked three miles in their lives, let alone twice a day every day.

Kuretake · 02/09/2025 11:31

Avie29 · 02/09/2025 11:27

My 10yo does 2miles in half an hour we leave for school at 8:15 ish and arrive 8:45 ish and she isn’t a fast walker, i can do the walk home without her in 20 mins and biking we do it in half that time, them being 12/13 should only take them 40 mins tops walking xx

2 miles in half an hour is 3 miles in 45 minutes which is what I said. Generally you go slower over longer distances (see marathon pace vs a sprint) and I don't think I'd expect a 12 year old to be miles apart in speed from a 10 year old really.

Newstartplease24 · 02/09/2025 11:30

There will be days when they really don’t feel
like it because they have a cold or something but in general walking is the best solution. I’d do it; I’d ask my kids to do it. I would however have an occasions contingency solution. Are there Ubers where you are? An occasional uber to the other side of the roadworks, then walk the rest, would be well appreciated on certain very tired evenings. But maybe keep your powder dry on that option initially.

I used to walk 5 miles a day either side of my train commute and it was the healthiest and most efficient way to travel. But: being a grown up, I allowed myself a taxi from from the station occasionally when I’d just had enough and I think it’s nice to allow that sometimes.

now I drive to work (have to) and the impact on my health is depressing as fuck. Build them up. They can walk and they should see themselves as strong and resourceful.

Gremlinsateit · 02/09/2025 11:29

No bus service?

lessglittermoremud · 02/09/2025 11:29

My 12 year old cycles to secondary school (3.5 miles each way) it takes him approx 20 minutes, although he’s slightly faster on the way home as it’s down hill most of the way 😂.
He has been doing this for a year since leaving primary school (youngest in his year) and most of his mates do similar, even those that are slightly further away.
Id personally at those ages get them to bike it as long as it’s safe for them to do so.
Some kids walk it from our estate and it takes them just over an hour each way.

holamums · 02/09/2025 11:28

12 and 13 easily doable.. But dont they have bikes?

Avie29 · 02/09/2025 11:27

Kuretake · 02/09/2025 10:08

Threads involving walking distances/ number of steps etc. are always bonkers I find. The people describing 3 miles as a half hour walk have clearly never actually done it, like the people that claim to get 20k steps a day from "chasing after my toddler".

A ten minute mile is a pretty respectable running speed it's not the speed of a walk in school clothes carrying a bag.

For the record, I think they could walk it for a month it probably would be good for them. But it's going to be a good 45-60 minutes each if they walk reasonably briskly.

My 10yo does 2miles in half an hour we leave for school at 8:15 ish and arrive 8:45 ish and she isn’t a fast walker, i can do the walk home without her in 20 mins and biking we do it in half that time, them being 12/13 should only take them 40 mins tops walking xx

Howmanycatsistoomany · 02/09/2025 11:24

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 10:33

Google ‘Battle Hill’ road closures (Rother Town council). It won’t let me link but I have included a screen shot.

But the answer is: yes, quite easily.😊 It’s emergency work. They had to bump it from August as there were road works down the A21 detour route!

The shorter ‘detour’ suggested by Google maps is through back roads, not wide enough for two cars to pass. So it’s into Hastings, then back out again down the A21!

Ah you're in Hastings. A YouTuber I follow used to live in Hastings and was moaning recently how shit the roads/traffic is and how long it takes to drive a couple of miles across town so I believe you 😀
I think if they're sensible and there are pavements the whole way, nothing wrong with letting them walk for a few weeks, while it's still light enough. I used to walk a similar distance home from school from 13 to save my bus fare.
I'd drive them if it was pissing down though. Or have you considered asking another parent to pick them up?

Justploddingonandon · 02/09/2025 11:24

My similar age DS happily walks 2 miles each way in all weathers and have done for 2 years. There is a bus and I've shown him how to use it, but he says it's quicker and easier to walk (it may well be as the bus goes round the houses and gets full if it's raining). He'd probably be fine with the extra mile. Saying that, I'm guessing by the long detour you're somewhere really rural, so it would depend on how safe the walking route was, as if it's like where I grew up there were no streetlights or pavements and most roads were 60mph.

KateDelRick · 02/09/2025 11:24

CoffeeAndStripedtops · 02/09/2025 11:21

How about a walk to the end of the road closure, and then they take a taxi/Uber from there? If they go with some school friends they should be safer and the fare would be shared so not that high...

I don't think that the issue is one of "safety"?

PosiePetal · 02/09/2025 11:24

I have just calculated the distance of my walk to junior school as a child. Just about 2 miles (one way) so 4 miles a day. I loved that walk. I think it actually set me up for a love of walking and being in the countryside.

I really admire anyone who walks to school (I live near a school so I see the chaos of drop off/pick up times). If your children are walking together, even better.

DaisyChain505 · 02/09/2025 11:23

thisfilmisboring123 · 02/09/2025 09:28

What, ever?
Sorry, but I think that’s bloody awful.

As others have mentioned, surely walk in , lift the way back or vice versa seems fair.

Her deal was she’d take us only if it was raining and even then it was begrudged massively.

CoffeeAndStripedtops · 02/09/2025 11:21

How about a walk to the end of the road closure, and then they take a taxi/Uber from there? If they go with some school friends they should be safer and the fare would be shared so not that high...

suki1964 · 02/09/2025 11:21

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 09:52

I walk 4 miles to the station on my 3 days I go into London. Then 3 miles the other side. Then I do it again every evening 😘

Imagine telling someone who wants their kids to get exercise when it’s not convenient (I.e would actually be a huge undertaking that would take the parent twice as long to do compared to the kids walking) for them to be driven to ‘get off their patootie and be a mum.’ Sorry, I thought part of being a good parent was to want your children to be healthy…apparently not!

When I was 13 I did a paper round before school - 2 mile route , then walked the three miles to school and the three miles home again unless I had managed to find the 2p bus fare

We lived just on the three mile border from the school so didn't qualify for the free bus pass and money was tight for us ( hence having to do a paper round ) - and yes that was in all weathers

I think it's a perfectly reasonable distance for kids of that age. Plenty of kids around here much younger will have a couple of mile walk from where the school bus drops them to get home ( very rural )

Crunchymum · 02/09/2025 11:19

Well it's not going to be forever so I'd try it out (the walk) but have a contingency plan for days it is really wet / horrid.

I wouldn't expect them to do it in the height of winter but they can manage a few weeks of it in autumn I am sure.

Mixingitup · 02/09/2025 11:18

My 3 and 5 year old walk 2 miles there and back...

Plastictreees · 02/09/2025 11:18

OldWave · 02/09/2025 10:25

It's only for a month, and it will be an adventure and tale to tell. Also, they'll become invested in making sure the council finishes it quickly.
Send them off!!

How will it be an adventure?! A boring hilly walk to and from school, likely in the pissing rain with heavy bags to carry is hardly a fun tale to recount.

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