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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make the kids walk 3miles to school?

792 replies

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

OP posts:
WhereAreMyAirpods · 02/09/2025 14:02

So many people just can't read or can't be bothered to read.

The OP says this issue is going to be for a month while they do roadworks. Now I know the weather can be crap in autumn but we are not going to get snow in September. Also yes it does get dark in winter earlier, but at the end of September it still isn't getting dark to 7.30/8pm.

Themaghag · 02/09/2025 14:00

PumpkinSparkleFairy · 02/09/2025 08:21

Absolutely, that’s how I used to get to work in London 😂

So you used to work in London when you were 12 and 13? Gosh!

ChristmasMiracleBaby · 02/09/2025 14:00

I think it's a bit far in poor weather they'd arrive to school soaking, according to Google it would be around an hour. I would find that tiring walking that twice a day but each to their own.
I'd give them a lift if I could manage it.

FOJN · 02/09/2025 13:59

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 02/09/2025 13:11

Pretty rude post, isn't it? I also used to walk to school every day, thanks very much, so what that loads of us did it, I maintain that a lot people blithely saying "yeah, no problem", didn't then and don't now.

I think its unbelievable that you walk 4 miles ever morning. I bet its 3.9. And why do you walk so slowly, other posters on here walk at 6 mph!

Edited

You're the one accusing people who think the kids walking is no big deal of never having done it. I'm one of those people and I'm telling you I have. If you've also walked to school why are you doubting the people who think three miles is not a big deal?

YourJoyousDenimExpert · 02/09/2025 13:58

Not remotely local but wondering if they could walk part of the way and then get a bus?

Backfromholareyou · 02/09/2025 13:51

You sent him out this morning to try the journey op.

And? 90 mins?

usedtobeaylis · 02/09/2025 13:50

6 miles a day for a limited period of time is not ridiculous. However they will be carrying their school things and potentially getting to school soaked. Crazy if there are no public transport options.

Comedycook · 02/09/2025 13:50

Backfromholareyou · 02/09/2025 13:46

@Avie29

do I believe you walk 2 miles in 20 mins? Absolutely

do I believe that it feels to you “just like normal walking speed”? No I don’t.

You will feel (and certainly look to any bystander) as though you are speed walking

I am way too invested in this and googled how long to run a mile. Apparently an averagely fit person takes 9-10 minutes to run a mile. So the pp who said she walks two miles in twenty minutes....hmmmm. I think she's either underestimating the time it takes or over estimating the distance. Or she is actually pretty much jogging.

Backfromholareyou · 02/09/2025 13:48

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 09:13

Very good thanks. As it has been all my life. 😀The kids, like DH and I, are keen swimmers and runners.

And even if I was unfit, it has no bearing on whether or not my kids can walk 6 miles a day, does it?

Well you were hardly likely to say “me? Fit? No way. I don’t walk more then 2000 steps a day” 😆

AlanAtSnapeMaltings · 02/09/2025 13:48

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

They can do that. Maybe not ideal but as long as they are not dawdlers its less than 1hr each way.

Is there an option to drive them part way?

rb124 · 02/09/2025 13:47

It depends on how old we're talking about.
I would have no issue with a pair of 'teens walking 3 miles if it's along roads with proper pavements, and it's suitable weather. If nothing else it'll make them a bit fitter!

siliconcover · 02/09/2025 13:47

A long time ago I walked 3m each way to my High School (zero choice)
I live rurally now (but just inside the limit even SN) so drove my kids mostly as a. no pavements to walk b. twisty roads/heavy lorries re bikes so not any choice.

A friend had her kids cycling 4m to the A1, pushing their bikes across the A1 (!), 20miles on the public bus to School (as it was the catchment one she liked And back. From ages 11/13. I thought that was crazy & and felt really sorry for them.

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 02/09/2025 13:47

A primary school was much lauded a few years ago - for getting its whole population running/walking/hobbling a mile a day round its playground before school. This was for improved learning - physical health -and to counter things like anxiety.

3 miles isn't so far for secondary schoolers and might have some unexpected positives.

I'd give them additional pocket money for saving on car-miles and for helping the planet.

LillyPJ · 02/09/2025 13:47

BeachLife2 · 02/09/2025 10:33

It sounds bonkers tbh and will make them exhausted and miserable. As expected there are lots of posters claiming to have ran a marathon to school every day, but there is a reason regressive practices are confined to the past.

I am a big believer in fitness for people of all ages, but walking 6 miles in pouring rain and wind is not going to be conducive to them performing well at school.

Walking 3 miles shouldn't make a healthy 12 year old exhausted and miserable! Walking 12 miles in hilly country doesn't make my 80+ year old friends tired and unhappy. 3 miles is perfectly reasonable and a good way to start the day.

Justploddingonandon · 02/09/2025 13:47

Avie29 · 02/09/2025 12:54

Im guessing its speed walking but just feels like normal walking to me, i didnt really think it was unusually fast but evidently as people are pointing out it is 🤷🏻‍♀️ xx

My DH walks freakishly fast and walks 5km (which is about 3 miles) in a bit over 35 minutes, which I find very annoying as it's about the time I can run 5k in. He's fit but certainly not Olympic standard!

Backfromholareyou · 02/09/2025 13:46

@Avie29

do I believe you walk 2 miles in 20 mins? Absolutely

do I believe that it feels to you “just like normal walking speed”? No I don’t.

You will feel (and certainly look to any bystander) as though you are speed walking

Purplebunnie · 02/09/2025 13:46

@DHdoingmyheadin I didn't know about Great Park farm, what's there? Get my Christmas trees from Catsfield could do with a nice cup of coffee and cake after trudging around

LillyPJ · 02/09/2025 13:41

Comedycook · 02/09/2025 13:22

This makes sense though.... average walking speed is 3mph so assuming you're slightly faster than average 4 miles in 70 minutes is doable

4 miles an hour is actually pretty fast walking. I think it would be hard to keep that up for an hour.

LillyPJ · 02/09/2025 13:40

Walk when the weather's ok, maybe just one way - it would be a good start to the day. They're perfectly capable of 3 miles (and much more) at that age. I'd say allow at least an hour though.

SplendidUtterly · 02/09/2025 13:39

Walk one way lift the other way?

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 02/09/2025 13:38

I remember learning that as a (Victorian) child, the writer Thomas Hardy was considered to be so frail and weak that he needed education instead of experience in building/farming (trades he wouldn't be strong enough for).

He was expected to walk 3 miles to school and back -of course. Being too sickly for that was unimaginable!

(My mother is now 85 and willing to walk 6 miles for tea and cake. Like Hardy she was thought of as weak as a child- she still has asthma- but walked miles to school. )

Comedycook · 02/09/2025 13:22

FOJN · 02/09/2025 13:00

Plenty of us are saying we walked that distance to and from school in all weathers for years. My standard morning dog walk is 4 miles, even with letting the dog stop to sniff and go to the loo it only takes me an hour and ten minutes. If you think it's so unbelievable I suspect it's you who has never done it.

This makes sense though.... average walking speed is 3mph so assuming you're slightly faster than average 4 miles in 70 minutes is doable

ShroudedOrchard · 02/09/2025 13:21

Amazed at how many people seem to think 3 miles is practically a marathon.
There may be good reasons why OP’s DCs can’t do it… hills, heavy bags, whatever.
But I do wonder if some of the people against at a 3 mile walk are the same people saying they can never lose any weight…

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 02/09/2025 13:11

FOJN · 02/09/2025 13:00

Plenty of us are saying we walked that distance to and from school in all weathers for years. My standard morning dog walk is 4 miles, even with letting the dog stop to sniff and go to the loo it only takes me an hour and ten minutes. If you think it's so unbelievable I suspect it's you who has never done it.

Pretty rude post, isn't it? I also used to walk to school every day, thanks very much, so what that loads of us did it, I maintain that a lot people blithely saying "yeah, no problem", didn't then and don't now.

I think its unbelievable that you walk 4 miles ever morning. I bet its 3.9. And why do you walk so slowly, other posters on here walk at 6 mph!

Tiswa · 02/09/2025 13:03

Avie29 · 02/09/2025 12:54

Im guessing its speed walking but just feels like normal walking to me, i didnt really think it was unusually fast but evidently as people are pointing out it is 🤷🏻‍♀️ xx

Are you sure it’s 2 miles 3000 steps is far more inline with 1.5 miles which walking quickly in 20minutes makes sense!

otherwise yes you are competitive speed walking pace