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AIBU?

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Original poster

To make the kids walk 3miles to school?

792 replies

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 03/09/2025 08:24

BIossomtoes · 03/09/2025 07:51

I’ve managed to survive 72 years without that ”basic life skill”. My inability to ride a bike has had zero impact on my life.

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A generational thing then.

Stowawaysue · 03/09/2025 08:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LandSharksAnonymous · 03/09/2025 08:23

DHdoingmyheadin · 03/09/2025 08:18

Oh you’re that poster who got banned for being a troll aren’t you? I thought so. Bye bye.

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Oh I did wonder why the nasty messages suddenly stopped. Some people really are very sad individuals. And creating a new account, and not denying that they’ve created a new account to harass someone, the pinnacle of pathetic

Stowawaysue · 03/09/2025 08:21

DHdoingmyheadin · 03/09/2025 08:18

Oh you’re that poster who got banned for being a troll aren’t you? I thought so. Bye bye.

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Make the work day count Op

given you’ve walked 4 miles, had a 90 minute journey to London, then 3 miles to get the office.

Original poster
DHdoingmyheadin · 03/09/2025 08:18

Stowawaysue · 03/09/2025 08:16

But you don’t need to park at the station. You live half a mile from a mainline station. 😵‍💫

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Oh you’re that poster who got banned for being a troll aren’t you? I thought so. Bye bye.

OP posts:
Stowawaysue · 03/09/2025 08:16

DHdoingmyheadin · 03/09/2025 08:13

@Stowawaysue im already in London. Have been for over an hour. I get up at 4am so you can pipe down with your nasty comments. Not all of us can afford to park at £7per day three days a week - I know it’s the ‘done thing’ in MN to be difficult, but it’s not big or clever to be nasty when someone has said (repeatedly) that their commute is what it is due to finances. It’s just being a bully

But you don’t need to park at the station. You live half a mile from a mainline station. 😵‍💫

Stowawaysue · 03/09/2025 08:16

DHdoingmyheadin · 03/09/2025 08:13

@Stowawaysue im already in London. Have been for over an hour. I get up at 4am so you can pipe down with your nasty comments. Not all of us can afford to park at £7per day three days a week - I know it’s the ‘done thing’ in MN to be difficult, but it’s not big or clever to be nasty when someone has said (repeatedly) that their commute is what it is due to finances. It’s just being a bully

Nasty comments

I was enquiring as to whether it was a WTF or you were setting off on your 7 mile walking plus train journey to work.

Will you be going back at lunch time to visit your elderly parents?

Stowawaysue · 03/09/2025 08:15

Off on a tangent but the children who never learn to decently swim are the ones I feel so sorry for. Not for the “basic life skill” argument (although important!) but for the pure fun of being on holiday and swimming, and feeling happy and comfortable around water, and experiences whilst travelling etc

Original poster
DHdoingmyheadin · 03/09/2025 08:13

@Stowawaysue im already in London. Have been for over an hour. I get up at 4am so you can pipe down with your nasty comments. Not all of us can afford to park at £7per day three days a week - I know it’s the ‘done thing’ in MN to be difficult, but it’s not big or clever to be nasty when someone has said (repeatedly) that their commute is what it is due to finances. It’s just being a bully

OP posts:
Original poster
DHdoingmyheadin · 03/09/2025 08:13

@Stowawaysue im already in London. Have been for over an hour. I get up at 4am so you can pipe down with your nasty comments. Not all of us can afford to park at £7per day three days a week - I know it’s the ‘done thing’ in MN to be difficult, but it’s not big or clever to be nasty when someone has said (repeatedly) that their commute is what it is due to finances. It’s just being a bully

OP posts:
Natsku · 03/09/2025 08:09

CallMeMessy · 03/09/2025 07:28

At those ages and with no additional
meeds, would be a bit sad if they couldn’t ride bikes…

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It would be sad, and would most likely due to not getting the opportunity to learn which every child ought to get.

They all (apart from those who have electric scooters, though I'm sure they know how to ride bikes too as they would have learnt before their parents bought them a ridiculous scooter) ride bikes by that age in my town, they have to, bikes are essential for upper school.

Stowawaysue · 03/09/2025 08:07

DHdoingmyheadin · 03/09/2025 08:05

DC are walking. DH went out about twenty minutes ago to work and said it’s ’absolute fucking chaos’ with loads of cars trying to force their way past the roadworks (er good luck there’s a bloody ten foot deep crater across the road) and lots of road rage because of queues (not great when the detour route is 50mph.).

DC are happy to walk. They seemed surprised we were even considering driving as they’d assumed they’d walk anyway.

But this thread has been eye opening as to why so many people are a tad unhealthy. Three miles to a young teenager is nothing, in their eyes and in mine!

Edi: ‘ten foot’ crater not a ‘red peep’ crater!

Edited

You setting off for your 4 mile walk to the station soon? Or WFH mumsnetting today?

Original poster
DHdoingmyheadin · 03/09/2025 08:05

DC are walking. DH went out about twenty minutes ago to work and said it’s ’absolute fucking chaos’ with loads of cars trying to force their way past the roadworks (er good luck there’s a bloody ten foot deep crater across the road) and lots of road rage because of queues (not great when the detour route is 50mph.).

DC are happy to walk. They seemed surprised we were even considering driving as they’d assumed they’d walk anyway.

But this thread has been eye opening as to why so many people are a tad unhealthy. Three miles to a young teenager is nothing, in their eyes and in mine!

Edi: ‘ten foot’ crater not a ‘red peep’ crater!

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 03/09/2025 08:01

Stowawaysue · 03/09/2025 07:53

Out of nosiness, why didn’t you learn given you’re obviously a very active person?

Did you children learn?

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No sense of balance. I tried loads of times and got sick of falling off. Yes, my son can ride a bike and both my parents could.

Stowawaysue · 03/09/2025 07:53

BIossomtoes · 03/09/2025 07:51

I’ve managed to survive 72 years without that ”basic life skill”. My inability to ride a bike has had zero impact on my life.

Show quote history

Out of nosiness, why didn’t you learn given you’re obviously a very active person?

Did you children learn?

BIossomtoes · 03/09/2025 07:51

Swiftie1878 · 03/09/2025 07:41

Everyone should be able to ride a bike, just like they should be able to swim.
Classes are given in primary even if parents fail with these basic life lessons.

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I’ve managed to survive 72 years without that ”basic life skill”. My inability to ride a bike has had zero impact on my life.

Swiftie1878 · 03/09/2025 07:41

Zwellers · 02/09/2025 20:38

Massive assumptions here that everyone can ride a bike. Typical mumsnet.

Everyone should be able to ride a bike, just like they should be able to swim.
Classes are given in primary even if parents fail with these basic life lessons.

CallMeMessy · 03/09/2025 07:28

Natsku · 03/09/2025 05:50

Its a fair assumption. The OP didn't mention any disabilities and disability aside the vast vast majority of children ought to be able to ride a bike by 12.

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At those ages and with no additional
meeds, would be a bit sad if they couldn’t ride bikes…

CallMeMessy · 03/09/2025 07:27

ChristmasMiracleBaby · 02/09/2025 14:28

Why on earth wouldn't you go to your nearest station unless I am missing something.. Maybe porkies being told here. 🐖

I don’t go to my nearest station because the trains don’t go where I need to go! I walk to one a couple of miles away to the one that has a direct train to the city in red to go to because it is a lot quicker than trying to change trains and the trains are fucking unreliable anyway …

Gloriia · 03/09/2025 07:23

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 21:29

I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I don’t exist.

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Tell them to get the bus. If you're worried it won't get there in time tell them to get an earlier one! The school know about the issue.

The council have adapted the routes to cope with the temporary situation.

jannier · 03/09/2025 07:17

NavyTurtle · 02/09/2025 20:42

I would give them a life every day. It's called parenting.

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Not encouraging independence and smothering is not parenting giving children the tools to cope without a hand hold is a parents job. These children are in senior school an age where previous generations have always got themselves to school and enjoyed the social interaction and confidence in doing so unfortunately over protective parenting has robbed them of it.

Stowawaysue · 03/09/2025 05:52

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 21:29

I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I don’t exist.

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& tapping away on mumsnet all day by the look of it!

Natsku · 03/09/2025 05:50

Zwellers · 02/09/2025 20:38

Massive assumptions here that everyone can ride a bike. Typical mumsnet.

Its a fair assumption. The OP didn't mention any disabilities and disability aside the vast vast majority of children ought to be able to ride a bike by 12.

BogRollBOGOF · 02/09/2025 22:12

In a glitch involving a surprisingly unintutitive mobile phone providers app contributing to an unexpected absence of data, my scatty 12 year old has today kindly tested out the viability of walking over 3.1 miles with a substantial hill to get home from school.

Bearing in mind that he waited for a bus to discover he had no means to pay, went and checked a couple of streets away where I would normally pick up in case there'd been a change of plan as he didn't see his sibling (caught the prior bus), forgot there was a more direct route back to the main road and double-backed adding extra distance, and then at the point I rang to check on him, decided to sit on a bench until I doubled back along his route to meet him with 10 mins to go, he was home 1hr 10 mins after school finishing time taking those early delays to the journey and rest on the bench into account.

If it had been an intended walk, he'd have got home within the hour.

He got home, I made some banana pancakes and gave him some coke to pep him up and he had a 20min turnaround before his tutoring session. His energy level has been normal for the rest of the evening.

He is used to that kind of distance. He runs 5k/ 3.1mi regularly with a 22min pb, and ran/ walked it from the age of 5 getting times of 50-55mins when he started.

My first couple of jobs involved walking to work then standing/ walking all day.
In 6th form I opted to walk 2mi to school then back again (with heavy folders, Eng lit texts and beefy textbooks) which took about 25 mins. I used to love it when I beat the bus as it crawled along in traffic. Excellent way to develop a brisk pace despite 26" legs. I took that up following a gruelling DoE trip and when we asked our teacher how to get fitter for it, he said "the best way to get fit for walking is walking" so I quit the bus and walked instead.

BIossomtoes · 02/09/2025 22:04

Pherian · 02/09/2025 21:35

Your DH is right. If you think it’s fine, you walk with them.

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Really bloody sensible. Why would she walk three miles only to turn round and walk back again?